Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'd rather be alone then be unhappy...

WARNING! This ladies seriously post is a bit deeper than most, SO be prepared and YOU have been warned.

I believe that Whitney Houston sang this in her song, "It's not right, but it's OK". So a couple of weekends ago, I spent time with my Gamma Phi Beta sisters (volunteer leaders and collegians). I was struck by conversations with some of our over 50 women who are still single ladies like myself. Most of whom have never been married and chose careers and higher education over getting married earlier in life. Now these are highly educated, well put together women who still want to find someone to grow old with. However, they have not settled for someone that makes them unhappy. And also have serious regrets about not getting married and having children. I completely understand their situation because this is exactly what I am looking for as well. I don't need to be married, but I would like someone around to push my wheelchair when I can't walk from knee damage due to years of Jazzercise! And I know a lot of women that feel the same way.

And then I started thinking about many of my guy friends who are in unhappy relationships, living together or not, and they just stay in the relationship. Why? Because they can't stand to be alone, which is just sad. Just this week, a VERY good guy friend of mine found out that his sales job had been eliminated. Fortunately, his company found him another job in the company and therefore, he will not be without a paycheck, he just won't be seeing his sales commission check. So he went home to tell his live in girlfriend about losing his job and commission check. Keep in mind that these two have been together for over 8 years. And the GF was NOT sympathetic or understanding, she was more concerned about the loss of the commission check. REALLY? This is a man that you supposedly love and you can't be supportive of his loss. Now, I am not one to hand out advice on relationships, but I told him to RUN LIKE THE WIND from this relationship, she obviously doesn't love him or know how to be supportive. And if she is this way in a situation like this, how will she be with a real tragedy, tough times or kids?

I know of countless men who are in relationships (married or not) who date outside their relationship or sleep around. I used to work with a guy who was living with his GF and was never convinced that he wanted to get married. We traveled together once and had I not stopped it, I am sure he would have cheated on her with me...GUESS WHAT? He married her last year. Do you think that marriage is going to last or that he is NOT going to cheat on her? HECK NO!

The ones that I have the hardest time with are those that are not married, WHY ARE you cheating? Just break up with your GF, I have always believed that if you are cheating then you are obviously missing something in your current relationship OR like the case of one of my very good guy friends, you are simply not ready to make a commitment.

So gentlemen (and LADIES TOO, because ladies, I know you do it as well, heck I have done it) seriously, let me say to this you loud and clear, if you are cheating, then you are not with the right woman (or man). And I know relationships and marriage are hard, but my parents have been married 40 years but neither of them has ever considered cheating. My sister and brother in law have been married for almost 12 years, no cheating...

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, in this day and age (facebook, email, text, twitter, skype and the good old fashioned phone), please be alone and happy. Don't stay in a relationship that you know doesn't work just so that you have someone. I was married for three years, and my EX did me a favor by divorcing me, I got a 2nd chance to find the right person for me (unfortunately, 10 years later, I am still looking). You can EVEN really love a person and be in the wrong relationship. I dated Joe for 2 1/2 years and I really, really loved him, he still wasn't the right person for me and we had to break up.

WHEW...that was deep, I think I need some wine. Enjoy the rest of your week, I am off to my hometown for a wine event (imagine that). Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, March 22, 2010

SERIOUSLY VEGAS...My suggestions for you!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I did promise an on location post from Vegas. Unfortunately, I was just a bit too lazy...SO SUE ME...I was at the Bellagio Pool every day. Wow..great trip, lots of fun, pretty much in control the whole time and AMAZING shopping. No, I did not buy anything, but I did get to see my favorite friends, Chanel, Manolo, Louboutin, and Prada...

So I realized on this trip, that maybe I am a bit too conservative (which I highly doubt) or maybe behind the times (like I didn't realize that espadrilles were making a strong comeback OR maybe they never went out of style), but here are my fashion and social observances from Vegas. AND YES I know, it is Vegas, and many things that are acceptable there are not acceptable other places, but just because you change your location there is no reason to not be classy:

1. I will repeat...tights are not pants. If you can see your legs through your tights/leggings, they are not pants.

2. What is with the 32 gallon Eiffel Tower drinks? With a strap so that you can wear your drink around your neck? Ladies and gentlemen, if you need that much alcohol and you need to walk around Vegas with it, you may need Betty Ford and not Vegas. EVERY SINGLE place sells these things, YUCK!

3. Vegas is NOT a family friendly place. PLEASE don't take your children there. I actually observed a man standing in a casino with his child watching a woman dance on a pole...If you have a child that needs a stroller, you might want to consider Disney World, don't push your stroller through the casino.

4. HEY VEGAS...can you make your streets and sidewalks a little easier to walk on...I got my heel stuck no fewer than three times. Good thing I didn't fall ;) OH yeah and get with the times, no smoking in casinos. I KNOW that would cause a problem but I was so used to not smelling like smoke when going out, it took me a few days to get used to it.

5. LADIES! Wear an appropriate bra. There are a lot of fake boobs in Vegas and those girls need to be lifted and covered. And invest in some fashion tape. Thank you.

6. Oh yeah and Vegas...get better wine. Seriously, the only place that had decent wine was the Bellagio. Maybe that is why we sat there for like 3 hours watching people, WOW, there is a lot to watch.

7. LASTLY, ladies, if you are in Vegas for your bachelorette party, it is still NOT OKAY to wear a penis necklace. Why do girls think that is funny or appropriate? What would Coco do?

So there you have it, I know nothing new that I haven't said before. Same rules, different venue. I am off to a wine event in lovely Omaha this upcoming weekend. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Tights DO NOT Equal Pants!

Good afternoon ladies! So I had a trip to a suburban mall yesterday. And of course, I did not wear sensible shoes and wound up sitting in the middle of the mall resting my feet from my fabulous Prada shoes. And I literally was APPALLED at the fashion DON'Ts that passed me by in just 15 minutes! LADIES? When did workout pants or Uggs boots and tights become OK attire for the mall?

Let me set it up for you, it wasn't really COLD in Chicago yesterday, about 45 degrees, so no need for shorts and flip flops, but not really fuzzy boot weather either. It was an indoor mall. So in true ladies seriously fashion (pun intended), here are some new rules of fashion from yours truly:

1. TIGHTS DO NOT EQUAL PANTS OR LEGGINGS. The redhead and I saw a woman (pushing a stroller) wearing a big shirt coming down ABOUT mid-thigh, with a big stretchy belt, TIGHTS (yes, they were see through) and a pair of UGG style tie up boots (they came to her knees). Ladies, if you are going with this style, the shirt or dress should come 3/4 down your thigh AND PLEASE wear opaque leggings, we shouldn't be able to see your skin.

2. UGG Boots....OH DEAR LORD when is this fashion trend going to pass? Ladies, I understand that you need to keep your feet warm in 20 below weather...but really in 45 degree weather, they are not needed and with sweat pants, I have never seen footwear make young women look short and lazy like these silly boots. Really, can we put these boots away now?

3. Workout Pants/Leggings. Ok, we saw a women in running tights, running shoes and a short jacket. And don't get me wrong, she was VERY fit, but it was just weird. If you are taking the time to run inside the mall, take the time to change into something more appropriate. Running tights should only be worn to RUN IN.

4. Jeans tucked inside boots. I know this is a hot trend right now, and if you are thin and tall, GO FOR IT. But if you have a big ol' bootie like mine, this is not a good fashion trend for you. I saw a woman WORKING in a store selling jeans. And ladies, she had big ol' bootie with skin tight jeans tucked into a pair of boots. The jeans were low rise and she was bending over to stack jeans OR something and her pink and black lace THONG was out there for all the world to see. In addition, the jeans had a bunch of rhinestones on the pockets and she was wearing a sequin belt. OVERLOAD, OVERLOAD. Ladies, if you have a larger backside or hips, you don't need to draw more attention to that area with sequins, lace thongs and the like. THAT area is going to draw attention all on it's own. TRUST me, I speak from experience on that one.

I am not saying you need to be dressed to the NINEs to go to the mall, but ladies, clean it up. You are out in public. Be realistic about your body type, wear appropriate PANTS and undergarments. The WORLD doesn't want to see your me.

Seriously, what would Coco do? So I leave for Vegas on Wednesday...I KNOW I will have material for you while I am stay tuned for on location blogging!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.