Sunday, September 20, 2015

Life is all about choices....

Good morning ladies and gentlemen seriously!  Seems that fall is starting around Chicago and boy has it been beautiful outside the last few weeks.  It kind of makes up for the fact that I was supposed to be in Africa right now on vacation.  BUT never fear, the trip has been re-scheduled for next year.  And I am now in the process of planning my trip to Fiji for April.

So in the last few weeks I have been thinking about choices in life.  And more specifically, life choices that we all make...having kids, being single, getting married, getting a divorce, living in the city, living the burbs, our job, etc.  And there seems to be some judgey judgey going on with people in regards to life choices.  Let's be clear, we do live in America and women and men are generally free to make their own choices and decisions.  I think it is fair to assume that each person's or family's decisions are made on what it is believed to be best for the person or the family.  If you are a person that chooses to get married, live in the suburbs, have a child and be a stay at home parent, I don't judge.  It would not be my choice, but that doesn't matter, we all need to respect each other.

And I guess the place were I start to get upset and things turn NOT classy is when people assume that their life is more fulfilled or better than someone else's based on their choices.  For example, please don't assume that your life is more fulfilled than mine because you have a husband and a child.  I am quite fulfilled and happy with my single dog parent life in the city.  Would I like to have a date...sure!  but that doesn't mean I am not fulfilled.

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, can we all just be classy and respect one another's choices?  Don't try to change me, don't try to tell me, I will meet someone soon and then I will want to have children.  And on the other side of things, if a couple is married and chooses not to have children, that is their choice, you don't need to try to convince them that they will want children.  OR if a family chooses to live in the city and have their kids go to school in the city, don't try to convince them their life would be better in the suburbs.  These are all choices, respect them and move on.

On a side note, apparently the dating gods read my last blog post and I am happy to say that a very lovely, normal adult man did ask me on a date.  I met him online on Thursday and we went out yesterday.  We had a great time.  So hopefully more to come on that.

Keep your heels, chin and standards high

Monday, September 7, 2015

Gentlemen Seriously....Time to step up

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.  Happy Labor Day, hope you are enjoying your holiday.  It is HOT in Chi this weekend, so I have mostly been indoors.  I have been having fun with friends and family.  And on Saturday, I had an opportunity to see the Australia Wallabies play the USA Eagles in a rugby match at Solider Field.  My awesome boss invited me to a suite to watch the game.  Lots of fun.

So this classy, fun lady is in a major dry spell on the dating front.  Yep, it's been about a year since I have had a date or even someone of interest, honestly.  And yes, I play on tinder, but let's face it, that isn't dating in the real world, it is just like spinning the wheel for fun.  And yes, lots of my friends tell me to get on match, eHarmony....blah, blah....Feels so forced and unnatural, I hate it.

In this day and age of social media and online EVERYTHING, dating has basically become non-existent.  Gentlemen seriously, texting and messaging is not dating.  I understand how chatting online to get to know someone is all FINE, but eventually you do have to have in person conversation.  I mean, am I supposed to swoon because you sent me a smiley face emoticon?  How about asking for a meeting for a coffee, drink or food?  I can't tell you how many times, I have to wait for the guy to actually suggest that we get together.  Gentlemen, what is it?  How are hard is it?

And yes, I know, the ladies can ask the guy out and there is no shame in that.  However, here is what has happened, gentlemen, you are generally lazy and will take the path of least resistance...sorry to say.  And ladies, we feel empowered and so we get tired of waiting for the guys to ask us, so we just ask them and pursue them.  And unfortunately, for a traditional, nice Nebraska girl like me, I end up waiting forever for my prince charming to ask me out because he is too busy dating the ladies that are willing to do all the work.

And many times, you don't even end up end up getting drinks and going back to his house, because let's face it, if they guy doesn't have to take you out.  I mean I went out with this guy who literally took me out twice and then every other time only wanted to get take out and watch a movie.  I mean that's all well and good after you have been seeing each other for a while.  But we live in CHICAGO, one of the best cities in the world....let's have some fun going out for a while.  And it's not about the money and who buys what (I am fine sharing that), it's about the experience.

So gentlemen seriously, this one is on you.  Can you just step up and ask us classy ladies out every once in a while?  If we have been chatting with you or texting you, we are going to say yes, at least once.  It is classy to have some manners and treat us like the ladies were are.

So the time being, this classy lady is going to keep waiting...


Sunday, August 23, 2015

Being Wonder Woman means understanding your limitations....

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. has been a long time since I have posted.  I am neglecting my sorry.  It's been an interesting summer.  Since I last posted, I did have a wonderful trip to Australia with the gorge redhead (well, now it is blue).  Such an amazing trip, we went to the West Coast of Australia, did "some" wine tasting (read as A LOT), saw awesome wildlife, stayed in a tent on the beach, I swam with whale sharks and got to see Quolls and Quokkas.  In life, you should count yourself lucky if you can find ONE person you can travel with internationally.  I am lucky enough to have more than one...Thanks Melis and Mandi (and of course, my parents).  I also did a quick trip to Jamaica to see my friends Steve and Amy get married, PLUS I did get my scuba diving certification.  Next trip will hopefully be to New Zealand and/or Africa with my parents.  We will see how the next 6 months go.

So this past week, I was in the salon (yep, I am no longer a redhead, went back to being dark and exotic).  And I was chatting to my AWESOME stylist (she also does my nails).  And she was telling me a story about how she was at the park the other day and there was a stay at home mom there.  Mar and this lady were chatting and the mom was carrying on about how she can't get anything done during the day while she is home with her daughter, no cleaning, no cooking, etc.  And the mom looked at Mar and said how many kids, do you have?  Mar answers...four.  The mom says and you work?  Mar says yes.  And the mom stopped talking.  Now, I am not saying that Mar is more amazing than the stay at home mom.  But I think it is time that as women we start to recognize we all have limitations.  While Mar could be JUST fine working a full time job and having 4 kids, the other mom might only be able to handle one.  And guess what?  That is OK.

It got me to thinking about myself.  And as much as I don't want to admit it, I have limitations as well.  (I know, you are all surprised).  I think you all know how much I love my job.  And generally speaking, I have been one of the top sales people for the last two years running.  So this year, when the opportunity came up to travel to the Maldives and then about 6 weeks later travel to Australia, I did it.  I figured I was good at sales, so it wouldn't matter that I was going to gone for like 3+ months.  Well some things changed at work and guess what, it did matter that I was gone for that long, as I have struggled this year with my sales.  And while it stinks for me financially, it will be OK.  And things are getting better.  SO here is how I take it, it is a lesson learned, now I know how long I can and can't be gone from work.

So here is my message out there for all of the ladies!  While society, media and facebook MIGHT demand that you are super woman, you are all allowed to be super woman in your own way.  It is classy for you to understand what you are able to do and what you aren't.  I know you all read the posts from women about how amazing their life is with their kids, their husband, their volunteer work, their job, their dog....etc, etc.  Did you ever think maybe those women that are posting all of that are trying to convince themselves as opposed to everyone else?

So ladies seriously, you are all super women in your own way.  And it is better to be really good at a few things, rather than being mediocre at a lot of things that you don't care about.  So take stock, and be your own personal super woman (and your family).  And it might be important for you to be available for your children so you have work part time or an administrative type of job that gets you home early, you know what, that is OK...don't let other moms shame you for that.  OR you might be the type of mom that needs to be at a 40-50+ hours a week for financial reasons or other and you might also volunteer and be a Girl Scout leader, that is OK too.

So ladies seriously, assess your life and do what makes sense for you and your family.  And that is the classy way to go.

.....keep your chin, heels and standards high....

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Ladies Seriously! Let's treat one another with some respect, celebrate success!

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen seriously!  Happy Spring into Summer.  It was a lovely day in Chi-Town yesterday.  Ruby Caroline got a chance to enjoy a bar patio yesterday as we got the dogs together so some friends could socialize and MAYBE have a few drinks.  :)  I am busy packing for my next trip to Australia for another three weeks with the gorge blonde.  I am so looking forward to the trip...highlights include:  Vivid in Sydney and dinner with Sara (who lives there), selfie with a Quokka (google it), wine tasting in Margaret River, diving at Ningaloo Reef, snorkeling with whale sharks, overnight at Saffire Freycinet (google it) and ending with a private two wildlife tour in Tasmania where I WILL hold a wombat, see a platypus, quoll and Tasmanian devil. I am very lucky lady!

As many of you know, I work three jobs (two are paid, one is unpaid).  In all three of these jobs, I work mostly with women.  And recently I have been's funny, we all preach sisterhood and talk about how we support other women.  However, how come so many of us bag on other women?  We are SO good at tearing each other our work, relationships, behavior, clothes, hair, makeup, size, etc, etc.  We gossip about one another (and as a classy female, I am guilty of this).  We act like we are friends, but then we talk about one another behind the others back.  I have been in situations where another woman actually sabotaged my personal success just to make to herself feel better and appear to better at her job.

Ladies seriously!  This has got to stop.  In this day and age, women have so much pressure to be a super woman....good at her job, great at raising her kids, successful, a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter.  That is a lot of hats to wear and the last thing we need is to spend time cutting each other down.  We are still earning less than men and we still have to deal with harassment at work.  So stop trying to sabotage one another.  In the work place, one woman's success should be celebrated by all women.  Show some respect.  Classy ladies make other ladies feel good about themselves.  I am always so surprised when I compliment a woman on her dress, handbag, jewelry, etc and she is surprised by the compliment.  We all need to do a better job with this.

This past week was alumnae spirit day with Gamma Phi Beta and I had lovely posts on my facebook page of women celebrating me and my relationships/work with them.  This is what we should be doing ladies seriously!

Well, that's all for me and my little soap box for today, I am off to a land down under!  Keep it classy!

....keep your chin, heels and standards high....

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Hello ladies and gentlemen seriously.  Happy Spring!  Soon to be Happy Mother's Day (and my dear mother's birthday).  I hope you are all keeping it classy this spring.  It has finally warmed up in Chicago and we actually got to enjoy the sunshine this weekend.  My sister was in town with my nephew.  We participated in the Ovarian Cancer Walk on Saturday morning in honor of my sister's friend who is a 5 year survivor!  My sister shared a story about when her friend was diagnosed and my sister came to see her in the hospital.  The friend had stage 4 ovarian cancer in her mid 20s!  My sister got into the hospital bed with her and she said was asking what she could do for her and the friend said "You think I am dying?  Oh, I am not F***ING dying"  And she didn't.  So we got to walk on the field at US Cellular Field which was cool, even though I am a Cubs fan.  Of course, we went out for Mexican food for lunch to celebrate Cinco De Mayo.  And then we had to watch the Derby last night and broke in the gorge blonde's (previously redhead) amazing rooftop deck.

As we were chatting about life and what not, we were all chatting about dating and friendships...texting, emailing, calling, etc.  And it got me to thinking about how a classy lady handles all of that these days.  In this day and age, with texting and FB, there is an expectation with many men and women regarding how quickly you need to respond.  Many not so classy women out there get CRAZY if someone (and a man in particular) doesn't respond with three minutes.  Really?  I am pretty sure anything being said in a text message doesn't require a response in three minutes, and if it does, you should probably pick up the phone call that person.  So ladies seriously!  CHILL OUT!  Texting can be a fun, flirty way to chat with someone but don't make it life or death.

And here is another thing, ladies and gentlemen seriously, you don't really need to talk to anyone every day (spouses and kids are excluded from this)..... I mean I can't think of enough to say to someone every day, really, I am not that interesting.  My life isn't that exciting.  My best friend and I basically skype once every few weeks and I still feel connected to her.  My good friends in Chicago....I speak/text to maybe once or twice a week.  My mom....once a week.

And lastly, ladies and gentlemen seriously, if you want someone to respond to a message, make it something that is respond-able to....a SMILEY face or other various emoticon doesn't make me want to respond.   Not saying you have to be witty ALL the TIME, but a simple question like how is your day....makes me want to respond.

So with all of the technology out there today, we are getting less and less connected with one another, so the last thing I want to do is to tell you to not talk to one another, however, you can stay connected with your friends and family once or twice a week, not every day.  Let's take the time to have more real conversations with people a few times a week and fewer surface conversations via text message or facebook every day.  As my dear nephew says, ain't nobody got time for that.

So I am headed back to Australia in a few weeks with the gorge blonde in the next three weeks.  I know, it is a tough life for me, but I am really looking forward to the trip.  Everyone, keep it classy this spring as we move into summer and the clothing gets more skimpy.

....keep your chin, heels, and standards high....

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Madam President...It's Time!

Greetings from sunny Scottsdale, AZ.  Yes, I am on vacation's a tough life.  I am visiting my parents.  And my sweet Ruby Caroline got to make the trip with me, she is currently asleep next to me on the couch.  It has been quite some time since I last wrote.  Since we last chatted, I have been in Dubai and the Maldives.  Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, the Maldives are as close to paradise as I think I will ever see.  White sand beaches, gorgeous sunsets, the bluest water, amazing food and fabulous service.  It was pretty incredible.  I got to do three of my four required open water dives, so I am almost certified to dive.  And I have been busy planning my next trip to Australia, another three week vacation with some pretty incredible experiences planned.  And I am hoping to finish up my certification for diving when I am in Australia.

So most of my followers know that this blog is about being classy and fabulous.  And very rarely do I make political or social statements, BUT I need to talk about Hillary Clinton's run for the Presidency.  I happen to agree with most of her politics and whether you do or don't, that is OK.  However, ladies and gentlemen seriously, it is time for the most powerful country in the world to have a female leader.  If we are serious about committing to women being equals to men in this country, that means we are accepting of a female leader.  Now I am not asking you to support Hillary simply because she is a woman, vote based on who you think will do the best job.  But, especially to the classy gentlemen out there, don't NOT vote for her simply because she is a female.

And for those of you have doubts about the abilities of a female.  I found this article interesting and a good way to debunk some of those arguments.

I have already started to prepare myself for being upset about things that are said about female leaders, we are too emotional, we are not tough enough to run this country.  It is such a double edged sword for a female.  As a strong female leader, you are required have the right combination of femininity, quick decision making, the courage to stand up for what is right, emotion and intelligence.  If you are too strong, you are a bitch.  If you are too kind, you are a push over.  Trust me, I have dealt with it most of my life.  And Hillary certainly is the warm, fuzzy type, but she certainly knows how to make a good decision, be strong and god knows she is a smart cookie.  Girlfriend even got herself a order to be a good leader, you do need to be be well put together, it is the classy way.  :)

So we are heading into a historical time in the US, as I believe Hillary Clinton has a real shot at being our next president.  So as classy people, ladies and gentlemen seriously, let's keep an open mind about our next possible president, because in this classy lady's opinion, it is TIME for us to have a female leader in the US.  Go Hillary.

....keep your chin, heels and standards high....

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Being classy means being a good leader as well

Good evening ladies and gentlemen seriously.  Seems fitting that this classy lady would be posting while watching the Red Carpet and getting ready for the Oscars (MY FAVORITE).  I am such a dork about fashion so this is amazing.

SO happy to report another Anti Valentines Day Pub Crawl is in the books.  And while we only made it to two bars, we had such a GREAT time.  Our party has grown each year and this year, I think we had about 20 people at one point.  While all of the ladies and gentlemen were pretty seriously in the bag, everyone acted appropriately, dancing and singing and seriously being the life of the party.  So thanks to all for a great time.  And I might have kissed a cute boy as well.  ;)

As many of you know, I volunteer for my amazing sorority, Gamma Phi Beta.  In addition to being a regional director for region 8 (Northwest states), I also am a part of the Presentation Team.  So I get an opportunity to present and facilitate sessions for our collegiate chapter leaders.  First and foremost, I get to work with awesome ladies to actually do the presenting.  Second, I get a chance to interact with our leaders of tomorrow.

And of course, having been a volunteer leader for the organization for 10+ years and presenting to our current leaders got me to thinking about how to be a classy leader.  I have had an opportunity to a a leader of my own business as well.  And there are many actions I see ladies and gentlemen do that make me crazy as a leader.  And so I thought I would share my list of actions that a classy lady can take to be a good leader.

  1. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!  Sometimes I think about my leadership positions, and I simply don't understand what I do... honestly.  My team does all the work.  Leaders that make success about them...are not leaders.  WOW, this is a hot button issue for me.  
  2. Transparency.  The best thing that you can do is share as much as possible.  While I was running my own business, I shared all of my numbers, revenue, etc with my team...all members, paid and volunteers.  And it is very important for people to feel a part of the team if they feel they have all of the information, EVEN if it isn't imperative for them to complete their job.
  3. Humility and Vulnerability.  Your team needs to know that you are not perfect, sharing your failures and times in your life when things weren't perfect, make you human and more relatable. As women, many times we are expected to be SUPER MOM or SUPER WOMAN or both and we find it challenging to admit that we aren't.  We get by with a little help from our friends.
  4. Don't take yourself too seriously.  Have Fun.  Your team or your audience is much more interested in you, if you can poke a little fun at yourself.  You will lose people if you are too dry, get people involved in the presentation - facilitate, don't talk at them.
  5. Re-read action number one.
Please know that I am certainly not an expert on the subject. But I felt compelled to share after spending a few weekends facilitating these conferences.  Being a classy leader is something that I am very passionate about, so ladies and gentlemen seriously...take it for what its worth.

Enjoy the Oscars.  Very soon I will be leaving for Dubai and the Maldives for 10 days.  A very tough part of my of my job, I know, try not to feel sorry for me.

...keep your chin, heels and standards high...

Monday, January 26, 2015

How do you solve a problem like Mr Big?

Hello ladies and gentlemen seriously!  I trust that your new year has started out with class.  We are getting close to that one holiday that I continue to dislike HIGHLY year after year.  Yes, we are having our annual Anti-Valentine's Day Pub Crawl, which continues to grow each year.  Why? because no one likes to celebrate that sappy holiday, even the coupled people.  So many of my married and single friends will be pub crawling on V day!

I have been traveling quite a bit for my sorority volunteer job.  Several weekends in January and February and it is always inspiring to spend the weekend with women with similar values who are willing to give up their free time to help inspire collegiate women to be the best that they can be.  And in March, I am getting ready to travel with another classy lady (my travel agent friend from Reno, met her in New Zealand).  We are going to Dubai and the Maldives, can't wait!  Warm weather, here I come!

So I thought it was time to talk about my Mr. Big.  You know who he is...most single ladies have one. Ladies Seriously?  Who is yours?   In my case, our relationship is almost as long and as storied as Carrie and Big's relationship, honestly.  We have known each other for 14+ years, between us, three divorces and for him little people are involved.  And for both of us, lots of bad decisions and heart break.  But yet, still after having gone through everything, this classy lady can't seem to let him go.  WHY?  I am an intelligent woman who basically has her S**T together.  I am a catch, darn it.  Why after everything, do I continue to respond? Probably because I have been in love with him for years and it never goes away.  And previously I hadn't been able to say no at all, and then we would make plans and he would almost always cancel....NOW, I will say I had a small victory last year when I did say, NO, we can't go out.  He was upset and he did go away for a little bit, but here he is again and I am back talking to him.

So ladies seriously, here is my message for all of those of you who have your Mr Big that you can't let go.  Be smart, don't let him string you along.  If he does, move on.  Be smart, don't start walking the two of you down the aisle, this is not a fairy tale.  Be smart, if he steps up to the plate, then by all means, go for it.  But until he has the Mr. Big epiphany and flies to Paris to get you, it is probably best to move on.  Because by continuing to let him string you along, you are closing yourself to someone else great (in my case, haven't a lot of offers of recent, except for my cab driver from the airport last night, figures that he is only guy to ask me out in the past 5+ months)

So ladies seriously, here is my problem solution for your Mr Big, unless you are convinced that he will be committed to you only RIGHT NOW, move one.  You deserve to be treated the way Mr Big treated Carrier AFTER they got married.  :)  And remember actions speak louder than words.

This is the end of my public service announcement for Valentine's Day!  Keep it classy ladies.

....Keep your chin, heels and standards high....