Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ladies Seriously Highlights and Lowlights of 2010

OH BOY, ladies and gentlemen, I know that you have been anxiously awaiting this review from JZZRGRL. 2010 was not the best year on record and I fully look forward to a better year in 2011.

1. Being pursued hardcore for almost 2 months by Napa, claiming he was interested in me and that he and his GF were basically broken up. I believe I even said to him I thought he was using me, somehow he convinced me otherwise. Then had a very "physical" weekend ONLY then to find out he and his GF were never broken up, by his ridiculous FB posts.
2. Being disappointed by Harvard, period.
3. Finding a guy from Baltimore at a trade show in Florida, spending three great days with him and then have him ignore me when we return home when I say I would like to see you again.
4. Having Dallas tell me about his new GF in a text message conversation, which he initiated.
5. Crashing my sister's car while visiting her in Kansas City.
6. Realizing that Jazzercise has been a losing proposition and that I probably won't do this business long term.
7. Figuring out I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
8. Spending my shoe budget on my cat with her vet bills.
9. Having my Barbie Part ONE laptop die only to realize the my business database had not been backing up and had to pay over $2500 to have the CSI forensic computer guys recover it.
10. AND THE BEST! Being told that my $500 Tahari dress that I wore for a presentation was TOO short and unprofessional...HUH? Do you know me?

1. Finally finding a full time job in August at a great company, after looking for a year.
2. Vegas in March with the redhead.
3. Windy City Wine Festival and multiple other nights out in the city with my Mattie and the Southern girl (including Holiday Martinis).
4. Thanksgiving in Omalala with my crazy alcoholic family.
5. Realizing that my best friend knows me better than anyone else in the world and automatically knows how to react to my comments and situations.
6. Two trips to Snobsdale, one in April for my BDAY and one in May.
7. Losing 28 pounds in 5 months and being able to fit into all of those clothes in my closet.
8. Black Eyed Peas concert and BMW Championship (in a beautiful corporate tent) with Levy.
9. Celebrating my parents' 40th wedding anniversary in Snobsdale AND in Chicago. And being so proud that my amazing parents have stayed married that long!
10. Once again, being so thankful to have an amazing family and friends to support me (AND being able to support a friend in the past month who was going through tough relationship stuff).

So once again, we say good-bye to another year. Next year is a BIG ONE for me, my second annual 39th BDAY, hoping to celebrate it in the greatest place in the world, PARIS. Remember ladies and gentlemen seriously, keep it classy, practice the golden rule, have fun, be good, be gracious to others and dress for your body type and age...and everyone will have a happy 2011.

Tonight is the big Husker game and I am off to Austin, TX. Happy New Year. Ladies seriously signing off until next year, Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Holiday Parties, don't leave the lady at the door

Well, ladies and gentlemen, are you done with all of your holiday parties? Oh I cannot think of a time where people get themselves in more trouble than at holiday parties. And I am not only talking about the office holiday party, what about your neighborhood party or a party at a friend's house? So here are some rules that I heard on the news the other day and some added ones from

Office Parties
1. It is a TWO DRINK MAXIMUM. Anything more than that are you are playing with fire.
2. Don't wear anything too over the top festive (think a rudolph nose, antlers or a bad Christmas sweater, unless of course, it is a bad Christmas sweater party) OR don't wear anything too revealing (leave that for your friend's party). And for crying out loud, wear the right bra and underwear.
3. Don't kiss ANYONE except YOUR date under the mistletoe. And for crying out loud, don't make it a make out session.
4. Don't hit on ANYONE at the party, period. No co-workers, no single friend of your other friend, period. Leave that for the bar party you are going to next week.
5. Don't, don't, don't dance on anything but the dancefloor. And then keep it to a minimum, don't pull an Elaine from Seinfeld at your office party.

Other Parties
1. Don't hit your girfriend's date at a party. Even if he seems to be a better match for you, that is JUST WRONG and breaks the ladiesseriously GF code.
2. Just because it is a holiday party doesn't mean that the ladiesseriouly rules for fashion are put by the wayside, not too much cleavage (less than 25% of your boobs showing), right bra (no nipples, no sagging), right underwear (I don't want to see your thong), right leg coverings (leggings don't equal pants, NEVER EVER wear sheer pantihose, unless they are the black ones with the seam up the back and are appropriate, and find the right color tights)...
3. For crying out loud, don't get so drunk that you are basically hooking up with some guy on the dancefloor or in the corner. If you need to do that, take him HOME!
4. If it is a party at your friends' house, BRING something, a gift for the hostess, alcohol, an appetizer...don't be a bad guest.
5. Socialize and mingle, don't stay in one room and watch TV all night.
6. Wear a coat, no open toed shoes without tights, it is the middle of December for crying out loud and we live in Chicago...

The bottom line is, ladies seriously, the same keep it classy rules that apply everyday, apply DOUBLE at a holiday party. Keep it clean, dress appropriately, don't be over served and have fun. Remember, the more you drink, the more you will eat...and of course, we all gain weight, over the holidays, so be careful.

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Belated Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Chinese New Year to all! Have a wonderful holiday, remember the reason for the season and be NICE to your family. Stay tuned next week for the infamous HIGHLIGHTS and LOWLIGHTS from 2010. I know you are anxiously awaiting...

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Recent Dating Comments and Observations from JZZRGRL

Hello ladies and gentlemen! I hope you are as ahead of the game as JZZRGRL is, all gifts DONE, all cards DONE, all wrapping and shipping DONE, not sure what I am going to do with myself this week. Getting ready to tag out for the big Christmas holiday with my family. We are headed to Kansas City for Christmas this year, which is so fun because I get to see my niece and nephew's faces when they get their Santa gifts.

I wanted to update you on the dating scene, which has gotten a bit interesting, my friends feel they need a scorecard to keep up, but what do they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a good one (actually they say to find a prince, but you know how I feel about that crap) or your chances of finding a good one are better when you play the field, so here I am playing the field:

1. Update from the Houston guy, this is the guy I met this past summer, nice guy, works in the NFL. But hadn't heard from him in like 3 months, suddently get a TEXT message (you know how much I hate the constant texting) and he wants to know if I am mad at him...REALLY? Mad at you, about what? So I send a text back, no, not mad at you. And he sends one back, well that isn't very cheery. SORRY, I am supposed to be excited and cheery that I get ONE text from you after three months. NOPE, sorry, dead to me.
2. Met a guy right before Thanksgiving, actually lives in my neighborhood, from Nebraska, wicked smart (I mean I needed a dictionary to read his emails). He actually hung with my family at Thanksgiving after the Husker/Colorado game, comes over to my house, etc, etc. Then he FACEBOOK emails me on a Thursday afternoon to ask me to watch a movie with him that night, and can we watch it at my place because he doesn't have a TV...WHAT, what 40 year old man doesn't have a TV. I actually am busy that night, tell him I can't and can we do it another night? Never heard from him again...REALLY? You are mad at me because I didn't go out one night. Should have known better, he had REALLY REALLY bad fashion, not sure it could have been fixed. Yep, say it, dead to me.
3. Update from Dallas. SIGH...Ok, had dinner with him in October when I was there for business, VERY NICE TIME. Agreement was that I would come to Dallas if the Huskers played that one Oklahoma team in the Big 12 Championship. And of course, in typical Dallas fashion, I don't hear from him for like 6 weeks (insert eye roll here). Well it did end up that my Huskers were playing the Sooners in the championship. I text him and tell him I can't come down. Get a text back, blah, blah, not sure if he can get tickets and then MY favorite line, you will be missed. WHAT? what is it with you gentlemen, you can't say, I WILL MISS that too much? Anywhoo, on the day of the game, HE TEXTS me to ask if I have a prediction on the game. I say no, it should be close, and ask if he is going to game...I get this, NO, I am saying at home to watch it with new GF...WHAT, you asshole, I don't give a crap about new GF and I didn't even contact you. So this one has been hanging on for a while, so you guessed it, dead to me.

So it is time to shuffle the deck once again, I actually have three gentlemen that are potentials right now. You know I never use names to protect the GUILTY. So there is the 29 year old, I met at a work event, lives in my neighborhood, should see him this week. The French Car guy (he speaks French, YUMMY) and he is helping me get rid of Betty, my 5 year BMW and helping me find Bridget, my new to me BMW (my Mattie says Bridget sounds HOT). And then there is the winner (or the one I like best right now), the soccer player from OH, who lives in Bucktown. You know I don't like to jinx it, so you all don't need anymore information than what I have provided you at this time. All three are cute with good fashion and are in contention, but knowing me, they will all be gone by NYE..HA! And I didn't even tell you the story about Baltimore, cuz there wasn't much to tell, let's just say that was a physical one ONLY.

So to all of my gentlemen followers, follow my advice, don't do what these guys did, if you don't want to hang with a girl, don't keep texting her. And if you DO like a girl, pick up the EFFING phone and ask her out. It is just that simple.

As you will notice the list of dead to me men is getting longer. We will keep trying! Stay posted I have a few more blog posts to come before the end of 2010, ready for this year to be done, not a great JZZRGRL year.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Stop boo-whooing and make a change!

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Alas, once again, holiday time is upon us. Time to put up the decorations, shop and buy the gifts, wrap the gifts, do the cards, do the cooking/baking (well, not at my house), go to the parties and OH YEAH, continue with the regular part of your life, your job, your family, Jazzercise, etc, etc. I read a card today that said remember as a kid how much you loved Christmas? And you open it up and said Yeah, back when someone else used to shop, wrap, decorate and cook...Right!! Yes, we are all busy, busier than normal during this holiday season.

So let me ask you this question, do you ever get annoyed with those people in your life that continuously complain about how much they have to do? You know the ones, they can't get their work done but they have time to go out with friends (or find a new boyfriend). The ones that have time to online shop but can't possibly find time to make a phone call or send a card. Well, I am here to say that those people need to stop crying about it and get to work. These people might actually get more work done if they shut their pieholes and hunker down. In fact, I would love to start a rule that if you complain about how much you have to do, that you have to actually live the life of a single mother supporting 4 kids by working 3 jobs for JUST one day. Bet most of us (including me) couldn't do is all a matter of perspective and priorities.

Ladies and gentlemen, in this day and age, EVERYONE is busy. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, so perhaps, it is time to make a change in life and stop boo-whooing about what you have do to. I literally work four jobs (at the ripe ol' age of almost 40) but do you hear (or read about) me complaining about my work load? I made the choices in my life that got me to this point, so I honestly don't feel like I can complain. The funny thing is that those like the single mother I mentioned before are the ones that complain the least.

I also find that those same people that are "SOOOOOO" busy are the ones that cut people off in traffic, don't hold open doors for people and are generally rude and as my good friend, Smiley, likes to say a crabbypotumus!

If you find that you are one of those people that complains more than getting things done, maybe it is time to evaluate your life and make changes so you do have time and that might just be changing how you approach things. Life is too short to be angry and busy all the time. Lighten up, especially at the holidays, you might actually enjoy a few things. And let's face it, constantly complaining about how busy you are is simply boring and NOT classy.

So ladies AND gentlemen seriously, get over yourselves, lighten up, have a drink, stop complaining and be merry! You never know what Santa will leave you under the tree...I am hoping for a hot, single man and a new car!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, November 22, 2010

It's the most frustrating time of the year...

I know, I know, it's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But, you know and I know, it also means spending extended time with your extended family. SIGH! For many of you, this is the time of year that your dread the most as it means putting up with Aunt Phyllis asking you again when you are going to get married, dealing with your mom telling you that you need to lose weight or dealing with your older brother who can never seem to do anything wrong...OR insert your family drama here! So since all of you can't have a family as fabulous as mine (don't get me wrong, we still have drama). Thanksgiving is my favorite annual holiday, I mean who doesn't love a day dedicated ONLY to food, alcohol and football. Leave it to us Americans to create a holiday like that!

Here are JZZRGRL's advice for remaining sane and classy during the holidays (ALCOHOL and your IPAD...just kidding).

1. They are your family. Take it or leave it, when you are down and out they will still be there. So if your dad or your sister makes a snipey comment, just roll with it, have another glass of wine.
2. Choose your battles. If something gets said or done, and you feel compelled to retaliate or make a comment back. Take 5 seconds and think about this, if you do something, will it change the situation or just make it worse. Sometimes, we need to take the higher road and keep our mouths shut. 75 year Uncle Jerry isn't going to automatically change because you make a comment.
3. Enjoy the fact that you have a family (or friends or whomever you spend the holiday with)! Some of the less fortunate than you, don't have a home or a family to go to, so count your blessings, it is Thanksgiving anyway!
4. It is only a few days out of your what you have to go home for one day, two days? Your mom is happy that you are there, so you can manage it for a few days.
5. Really just need a break from it all? get your favorite nephew, find a TV and play a video game or watch a marathon of Star Wars, take a break, take a nap, run to the store, and by the time you get back, it will be better.

Ladies seriously, don't work yourself up, roll with the punches, be gracious and polite, say thank you, help with the dishes, ignore the snipey comments and oh yeah, tip back the wine. And your Thanksgiving will be just fine this year!

Ok, just a reminder from your friendly Jazzercise instructor, a typical Thanksgiving meal is 5500 calories, so enjoy yourself, but watch your intake and please work out over the holiday ;)

I am headed back to Nebraska tomorrow to hang with my family and enjoy the food and alcohol, (family tradition on Thanksgiving around 10:30 AM, my dad lines up the glasses and makes bloody marys from scratch...that is how we roll). And then I will be Lincoln cheering for my Huskers to beat Colorado for our last official conference game in the Big 12. Go Big Red!

Happy Thanksgiving! Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Where have all the ladies gone?

Hello ladies and gentlemen, once again, it has been too long since I have had a blog post to entertain you all. I have been traveling like a wild woman, first to Dallas for a trade show, see the previous blog post regarding fashion issues there! And then I was in Kansas City for a Jazzercise Center Owners meeting (where I crashed my sister's car, HMMM, not very lady like there) and then to Orlando for another trade show. And while I thought Orlando was going to be know, the heat, the kids, Disney...etc, etc. It actually turned out to be fabulous as I was entertained for several nights by a lovely gentlemen, NO, he does not live in Chicago. But thanks to him, I actually enjoyed Florida this time. Thanks kiddo!

On a side note, just to reiterate HOW RUDE some people are, I was walking down the street at Universal Studios (dear lord that place is huge, I think I walked to the Florida state border and back in my 5 inch Michael Kors heels). I passed a woman holding a beer and somehow our arms bumped and her diguisting beer dumped down my arm. Do you think she stopped, apologized or anything? NOPE, kept on walking! Really??? Ladies seriously, I don't care whose fault it is, stop and say something. MAN, PEOPLE SUCK.

Ok onto the story, so after we returned from Florida and my fabulous company was honored with a Chicago Innovation Award. It was like the Oscars at the Goodman Theater! We got to go on stage and accept the award. Only 10 companies in Chicago won this award out of 330 nominations. WAY TO GO!

SO after all of this travel and the trade shows, I am struck by the following...WHERE ARE ALL OF THE WOMEN?? At the Chicago Innovation Awards, there were 10 different companies accepting awards, each of those companies could bring 8 people on stage, so that's 80 right, I'll bet that there were fewer than 10 women that crossed that stage (and TWO were in my company). While at the trade show in Orlando (it was a police officer show), I worked in another company's booth, of the 50 people that worked the booth, I'll bet 10 of them were women.

So I did a little research and said to myself, well, maybe women are getting smart and not working for a company, but are going into business for themselves. Guess what...NOPE, they percentages of women that own their company has not increased in the past 10 years.

So where are they? Women still make 23% less than men overall in the workforce. So does that mean, as "progressive" as our country is that women are still not being put in top positions? This from USA Today, among fortune 500 companies, women only occupy 15% of the board positions and only 3% occupy the CEO position. Here is another statistic. Catalyst's "Bottom Line" studies have shown that Fortune 500 companies with more women in senior management, on average, financially outperform those with fewer women. The same is true for companies with more women board directors — even more so with three or more women board directors. Duh, this doesn't surprise me, sorry gentlemen, but you can't multi-task.

OK, SO ladies and gentlemen seriously! What is the deal? The great thing about being a female in this country is that you do have MANY more choices than men. It is just as socially acceptable for a woman to be a stay at home mom as it is for a woman to own her own business or be the top female executive at a company. So ladies, let's continue to assert ourselves. Take risks (hell, I quit my cushy $100K per year job to do my Jazzercise business!), get that degree, don't be afraid to speak out!

AND gentlemen seriously, you are running most of the companies out there...hire some women. And yes I know, the good candidates are bit hard to find. But take a note from the FAB company that I work for, don't just hire the most eager candidate for the job, hire the RIGHT ONE. My company was willing to let me go contract for the first 30 days while I decided what I wanted to do and THEN continues to be flexible with my hours so that I can continue to be flexible with my business. With all of the people out there looking for a job today, my company could have hired any one of them, but they hired me because they knew I was the right fit for the job and guess what it is a mututally beneficial relationship! So gentlemen seriously, take a note, many of those super qualified women are moms and care takers, they need your flexibility with their schedule. This doesn't mean that they aren't qualified or hard working. And for the hours that those ladies are at work, they will be more productive.

So from JZZRGRL, I say WAKE UP America!! It is 2010 and women need to be paid and treated equally (not to mention all of the minorities out there, don't get me started on that, that is a whole other blog post). Treating and PAYING people equally for equal work is classy!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Business World...are you fashion fabulous or a fashion faux pas?

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Beautiful fall day here in Chicago. Big game day for my Huskers. But first I have to go get my nails done...LOVE IT! So, I thought it was time for a post. Last week, I traveled to lovely Dallas, TX for a trade show. The first with my new company. Oh BTW, I got a job, I think I forgot to let everyone know. Yes, now, I have three...well four jobs. None of them pay very well, but someone has to pay for those Manolos and my cat is certainly not pulling her weight. So yes, now I am a Jazzercise Instructor, Jazzercise Center Owner, a Marketing Director and a Sorority Director...E-I-E-I-O. Oh and special thanks to the hottie who bought me dinner on Wednesday night in Dallas. You are the best. XOXO.

So I thought it was time that I talk about fashion in the business world. So my new company is in the mobile app development, software and security industry. So to translate, not a lot of WOMEN. Ladies seriously, if you are in an industry with mostly men (or ANY industry), it does not mean that you can revert away from dressing and acting classy. And does not mean that you can't add a little flair or fashion to your business attire. Funny thing is that my guys at the office don't quite know what to do with me...the heels, the pink, the handbags, the nails and the jewelry is a little much for them. There is only one JZZRGRL!

Here were some of my observations from the trade show:
1. A women in a black lace dress that hit mid thigh with taupe suede heels. (TOO SHORT and bad shoes)
2. A woman working in a booth (using a cleaner on a pole to "shine" the cameras overhead). How utterly phallic and ridiculous. Why do we have to play into the stereotypes?
3. Women wearing gym shoes with their skirts or dress pants (I mean I know it is hard to stand all day...but gym shoes?)

So these were my observations at a trade show. The same things happen at the office as well. So ladies if you work in an office, you need to be mindful of the corporate culture and the dress code. I happen to work in a very casual office, however, I only wear jeans occassionally on Fridays. Here are some of my ladies seriously rules for the office (or the trade show).

1. Don't wear ANYTHING that hits more than one inch above your knee...EVER in the office. Not appropriate. And it makes look like you are distracting people rather than showing them what you can do with your mind.
2. Don't wear anything that shows more than 15% of your boobs (yes, this is a revised rule from the 25% previously stated for the outside the office, which is still appropriate, OUTSIDE the office).
3. Don't wear anything that is too tight, leggings are OK as long as you have a tunic or something similar covering your bootie.
4. Less is more at the office, not too much jewelry, not too much makeup, not too much perfume.
5. Shoes...OK, now my rules are a bit different than others. Some will say certain shoes don't go at the office, I am little lenient on this one. It really depends on your office, some offices don't allow for open toed shoes, some do. NO FLIP FLOPS...GAWD, I hate flip flops... Remember, no hose with open toed shoes.
6. Being at the office, doesn't mean you have to be dowdy. DO use a little color, add a scarf. On the jewelry, one bigger statement piece is fine.

Ladies seriously, use your head. You want to have people notice your brains and your skills at the office, not your short skirt. Have a since of class and style and don't be slutty.

Trying to distract myself from the Husker game right now! Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, September 27, 2010

You have a a bar!

Hi ladies and gentlemen. Quote from Sweet Home Alabama, cute movie with Reese Witherspoon. Oh yes, I guess it is time for me to talk about the subject that is not going to make me popular with some people. So I was out shopping at the outlet mall this past weekend, got some good deals...I mean Juicy Couture Sweat Pants for $45? How can you pass that up? Anyway, I was at the Guess Store and this woman had her kids in the stroller completely blocking an aisle...oblivious to the fact that her children were crawling around in the stroller and that everyone else had to go around. Don't you think she would notice? And why does the stroller have to be GI-normous? My niece and nephew were always in those basic strollers, you know the cheapie ones that you can get at Target for like $10?

And I know even my friends with children would agree with this statement...Just because you have children does not give you the right to be rude to people, or take up extra space just because you decided to pro-create. Hey parents of the world, god bless you for having children, but here are some rules from the single people out there...

1. Don't assume that everyone in the world wants children. That is why we live in the USA, we have choices and some people to choose to have biological children, some choose to have artifical insemination, some choose to adopt from the US, choose to adopt from overseas and some simply choose to not have them. Please don't impose your opinions on others or WORSE question someone else's choice. Or ask why someone doesn't TRY harder to have their own children? Are you kidding me with that question?

2. Don't assume that everyone loves your child as much as you do OR thinks your child is as cute as you do. Hey, I think kids are great, my niece and nephew ROCK. My best friend's daughter is beautiful... but that kid pulling at my handbag in line at the grocery store, while the mother ignores him, NOT SO CUTE. Parents, pay attention, make sure you child is not annoying everyone around you. And don't let them run wild in a store or in a public place where it is inappropriate.

3. Public transportation!!! Especially planes. Oh lord, don't let your child kick the back of my seat. If you find yourself in a situation where you can't stop your child from screaming (hey it happens to everyone) what you can, but don't sit there and laugh about it, no one else on the plane thinks it's funny. And I have seen those poor parents trying to get a child from screaming...I understand.

4. Don't take your children to places that they shouldn't a bar in Wrigleyville on a Saturday night. Yep, I get it, mom and dad need to go out from time to time, hey, they have these new things now called BABYSITTERS! We used to have them when we were little (my sister and I) and guess what, we were fine! Other places, an outdoor concert or festival that lasts until 10 PM, shouldn't junior be in bed?

5. STROLLERS! Dear lord, can you find the smaller one? Don't block aisles, don't run them into people. I understand you need a stroller and that is cool, but don't be rude with it either. You don't have the right of way because you have a BIG stroller.

6. Alert...for those living in a condo or apartment. Be mindful of the fact that other single people live around you. I understand that kids cry and honestly I very rarely hear the child above me cry. But I have a friend who lives in a condo where the people above her let the child run the hallways at like 6 AM on a Sunday, come ON...have a heart and a brain. Convince little Sally Sue to play in her room for a few hours.

So parents of the world, have some class. I respect the fact that you have children and heck I even like some of them. But you need to respect the single people too (and other parents) and make sure that your kid is not imposing on those around you. Take heed in the suggestions above and everyone can live peacefully.


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Yes, ladies, it is good to show an interest... in SPORTS

Oh YAY! It is my favorite time of year, college football is in full swing and my Huskers are rated number SIX...whoo hoo! Yes, I know there are ladies out there that are rolling their eyes because that means that their husands/BFs will be glued to the TV on Saturday and Sunday this fall once again. Well, ladies, I am here to tell you that it would probably do you some good to learn the basics of football, basketball and even baseball...maybe a little golf as well. If you live in New York, Illinois, Minnesota or Michigan, you need to know something about hockey as well. And if you already know something, like Smiles or Bubba, you can skip the rest of this blog post.

Well, ladies..are you asking WHY do I need to know about stoopid football? Well, I don't want you to be a stereotypical female, hate sports and get ticked at your significant other when he wants to watch them. AND there is something to be said for watching a game at a bar or going to a game...guess what there are LOTS of men at those events. If you are single, WHY NOT increased your odds AND if you are married, you could spend time with your husband watching the game. And if you have no interest in either of these, it does help with conversations with strangers, at parties and hey you might meet a new guy friend or girl friend.

So here are some of the basics you need to know:

1. Football is played on Saturday, not on Sunday. College athletes get paid WAY less than pros do to play ball...NO, I am just kidding, well...kind of kidding. Anyway, football, hot men in tight pants trying to tackle one another. Goal is get the ball into the opposing teams end zone. They get 4 "tries (downs)" to advance the ball 10 yards. If they fail to do that (they are losers..;), they have to punt the ball back to other team. Touchdown is worth 6 points. Field Goal is where the skinniest guy on the team kicks the ball through the uprights. Don't concern yourself with plays and steps. HEY, ladies, here is an idea, go to a bar and ask the cute guy about some of the finer points of the game...might lead to a date.

2. Basketball is only played through early April...anything after that is JUST silly. And the only real basketball is in these conferences...Big East and the ACC. Go Heels! Ok, once again, I am kidding, there is pro and college basketball as well. College basketball ends with March Madness. And if you get an opportunity, single ladies, go to Vegas for parts of March Madness, your odds of men to women is about 50 to 1. Ok, so the goal is to get the round ball through the hoop on the other team's court. One basket is worth 2 points, if a player shoots outside the arc, it is worth 3 points. If a player is hit while trying to shoot, the player gets to shoot from the line. Once again, don't worry about the penalties and what zone defense means...that is a little too advanced. And basketball is played when it is cold in Chicago, SO find a cozy bar and a cozy guy to discuss the game.

3. Baseball is the stop gap until football starts again and is generally pretty boring. If your team happens to play in the American League, at least you get to see more scoring. Of course, being a Cubs fan, I don't see very much scoring, hitting, good pitching...etc, etc. Anyway, baseball on TV is VERY boring, don't try to get into a game that way, you will just end up reading your Glamour magazine anyway. BUT if you can see a game live, that is fun, most baseball parks are really nice these days and you CAN drink wine while watching baseball. OK, object of the game, hit the round ball with the bat, run around 3 bases and return to home befoe getting tagged. If a player hits a ball out of the park, it is a homerun. The player has three "tries" (strikes) to try to hit the ball. There are balls and walks, but eh, you don't need to know about that either.

4. Golf...Sigh, yep, it is boring to watch on TV. My dad watches golf 24/7, so I know, I have experienced it. However, some of the bigger golf tournaments (meaning...the Masters) are fun to watch on TV. And those golfers are pretty hot. With golf, lowest score wins the game. The goal is to get the little white ball in the hole with as few strokes as possible (using a golf club, sometimes, I think I would have fewer strokes if I just THREW the ball). Anyway, there are lots of obstacles like water and sand traps that make it more difficult to get the hole close to the green. Watching a tournament in person is pretty fun...I am going this weekend to the BMW Championship in Chicago.

5. Hockey, OK I don't know crap about hockey. Here is what I do know, players skate on ice (scary!) and fight a lot. Goal is get the puck in the other team's goal (net). Players are big and hairy with lots of missing teeth. BUT I do live in Chicago and we are home to the Stanley Cup champs, the Blackhawks, so I did watch a few of the games this year and you know what? It was pretty exciting. There are a lot of penalties...high sticking, icing...I don't know high kicking. Anyway, I know enough to watch a game.

So there you have it ladies! JZZRGRL's basics on sports. There are Soccer or Tennis that can be interesting, but that is up to you (hot guys in both soccer and tennis). A basic knowledge will take you a long way and not just with the gentlemen, but with everyone. We live in America and we are obsessed with our ladies seriously, do yourself a favor, learn a you never know who you might met! OR you might find that you LOVE golf, who knows. Or horse racing (yes, it is considered a sport) and you could go the Kentucky Derby and wear a fabulous Phillip Treacy hat...Extra knowledge is always a good thing.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Must I constantly gripe on this...MANNERS!!

HELLO ladies and gentlemen! It's been a long time and I know you have been anxiously awaiting my next post, she says sarcastically. Well, a lot has gone on in my life. Here are the three highlights:
1. I have a new job, yes, I have joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. Yes, I am still doing my Jazzercise business. And SMBJAZZ does certainly make money, just not enough to support my obsession with high end cars and shoes. So I am doing some marketing work for a software company. And I am happy to say that they are Apple based, so I am back working on a LOVELY Mac laptop, although it is not PINK, it is clearly, the better PC.

2. I have lost 17 pounds thanks to a company called Isagenix. I am proud to say that I am in single digit size jeans now.

3. SMBJAZZ just posted it's best month ever!

So lots of good news from JZZRGRL! Alas, still no man that is decent enough to hold my interest, but I am sure that is not shocking to my readers out there. But of course, in the past few weeks, I have had some experiences with rude, stupid people AGAIN and thus the title for my post! Geez, I feel like a broken record but I must address of some these situations:

1. Ravinia, Saturday Night, Train in Concert. We got there at 4:15 PM so that we could get a decent spot on the lawn and not be crowded (it was a SOLD OUT concert). We set out our blanket, put up the table, blah, blah. A family comes in next to us and proceeds to set up ON our blanket as there is not enough room for them and all of their kids. Question: should children be out until 11 PM at a concert? Anyway, they were fairly quiet, so I gave them a pass. BUT LO and BEHOLD, 4 people come in behind us to take a spot that really isn't a spot. In fact they have to put their chairs in a line. It is two married couples and the guys have clearly already been drinking. They open the cooler, half of the CASE of beer is already gone and one of the guys is DIGGING through the empty beer cans to get to a full one. They are LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. Then they proceed to pull of the loaf of white bread, pass it down with the jar of mustard and bologna to make sandwiches...YUCK. The guys were so loud, singing at the top of their lungs. The ladies must have realized that we were annoyed and tried to shut them up. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, have a little courtesy, if you get there late, you are sitting in the back of the park, period...don't encroach on someone else's spot and most importantly, BE quiet. EWWW, they were horrible.

2. Ok, next...My upstairs neighbors. Oh dear lord! These people are SO LOUD. I can hear the chick pounding so hard with her feet on the hardwood that I can literally tell when she is wearing slippers or flip flops. Their dogs pee in the breezeway and on the deck (which of course runs down onto my deck). The dogs ALSO run the hallways at like 5:30 AM. She can barely bring herself to say hello to me. NOW HEAR THIS...if you live in a condo building, have some courtesy! Don't be rude, we all pay our mortgage and our association dues to live in a pleasant environment. Take off your shoes, be mindful of the fact that others live in your building. Case in point, I ALWAYS take off my shoes when I come in the house so that I am not too loud for my downstairs neighbors. OH YEAH and my cat has decided she is lonely in her OLD AGE and has been waking me up 2-3 times per night.

3. NEXT...this one is awesome! So the other day, I am stuck in bad CHICAGO traffic and I am late to work. I am frustrated because I am in construction traffic, so I finally get off on the exit and I am following this motorcycle that is going FREAKING slow (much slower than the speed limit). As you can imagine, I drive fast, so I whip around this guy (mind you there are two lanes) so that I can get down the ramp and turn (I DID NOT cut him off, he was safe!). He comes up to my car and gives me a look, I say...what? you were going to slow. He proceeds to go to the front of the line of cars and convince the guy in the front car to drive the same speed as him all the way down Ogden Avenue. This speed is about 20 miles per hour, so that me (and the 20 cars behind me) have to drive 20 miles per hour all the way down Ogden. Really, HOW RUDE IS THAT? Don't you have anything better to do? I was so angry I was shaking by the time I got to work. If you don't like the way someone drives, ignore them and drive somewhere else, don't "teach" me a lesson!

Ladies and gentlemen, really have some courtesy! You are not the only person on the planet, everyone is busy, no one's time is MORE important (except maybe the ambulance or police, they might be saving people). Take some time to make sure that your actions are not infringing on other people.

And parents...this means your kids as well. I know you can't control them at all times and I get that, but junior kicking the back of my seat on the plane is NOT cute, it is just rude. You know they are talking about creating a separate section on airplanes for families...feel free to discuss amongst yourselves....

Stay tuned for another post...this one just came to me, ladies...seriously, an appreciation for sports will go a long way with the gentlemen! Live and learn. GO BIG RED!


Monday, August 9, 2010

Gentlemen...take a step back!

Ok guys, it's been a while since a situation or idea has come about that is appropriate for the ladies seriously blog, but lo and behold, Saturday night spawned a new one. So I was at a local establishment with two of my girlfriends, one is single, one has a boyfriend. We were enjoying a few drinks and playing a mean game of Jenga. I mean, what better family fun on a Saturday night, than good friends, good tunes (thanks DJ), good drinks and Jenga.

So, of course, we are so into our game, that it starts to get a little late (eh, like 1 AM or so). As luck would have it Lollapoloza was in Chicago this past weekend (she says sarcastically), which always brings out an interesting group of people. So this group of guys comes up to our table and instead of talking to us or asking if they could join our game of Jenga...they just started taking turns in the game. Now, the three of us being ladies, were nice enough about it...BUT I have to say this, gentlemen seriously, does it appear as though we needed your DRUNK assistance in this game? No one invited you and of course, they were crappy players!

Now, I know what my guy friends are going to takes a lot of nerve for a guy to come up to a table full of women. And this is true, however, they didn't need to get in on our game, if they wanted to talk, TALK, don't start messing up the Jenga strategy! Gentlemen, it was simply RUDE. And worse, they were from out of town! Guess what, if you were a potential date (who would take me to a nice dinner), I might be more interested in your Jenga playing potential, but you came to mess up the game because you thought you might get a ONE NIGHTER out of it? WHATEVER.

Reminds of me of another night of gentlemen rudeness....Smiles, you knew I was going to bring this one up. A beautiful blonde and I were out at a local establishment enjoying some martinis. It was late night and well, at usual, we had ordered some snacks and we had a booth. It was quite lovely. A group of gentlemen came in, and seeing that there are no seats available in said establishment, they decided to sit down with us. They didn't really ask, they just sat. Then the food comes and they proceeded to eat food off of our plates. And the piece de resistance of the evening, one guy taking my bread and dunking it in my chili, without asking...YUCK! Who taught you all manners?

So, here is the moral of the story, gentlemen seriously! If a group of ladies is out enjoying a meal or playing a game, this is not your invitation to participate without asking. Maybe, we don't want to talk to you, maybe we don't want your stoopid fingers on our Jenga game and maybe we don't want your (well MY) bread in my chili. Have some manners, be a man and make conversation!

AH, the joys of singleness and dating...hey all you married guys and girls, don't you wish you could date again!


Monday, July 19, 2010

Outdoor Music Festival is not code word for dress like a tart!

Oh boy, so we were at the Lilith Fair concert last weekend. Great concert with Kate Nash, Court Yard Hounds, Heart, Mary J. Blige and Sarah Maclachlan. AND the temperature was about 90 degrees out with 70% humidity, SO IT WAS HOT. Lord have mercy, there was a lot of bad fashion and just silliness going on out there. LADIES!

It is not OKAY to wear any of the following:

1. Cutoff shorts where the pockets hang below the shorts.
2. Fanny packs (ever in any fashion).
3. Dresses with no panties (COMMANDO is just gross in that environment).
4. ONLY a bikini (except at the beach or the pool).
5. Sundresses with no bra when you clearly need a bra.
6. A bikini top with shorts where you clearly have a muffin top.
7. Jeans skirts that barely cover your Va-jay-jay.
8. A satin maxi dress to an outdoor music festival.

It was a series of craziness I tell you. Ladies seriously, just because it is hot doesn't mean that you should abandon all sense of decency.

Plus a few more things:

1. Please don't smoke when you have 10 groups around you that might not want your smoke in their face (and that goes for the illegal substances as well).
2. If you come late to the show, don't walk in front of everyone and set up your blanket in the middle, there was plenty of room higher up on the lawn.
3. If you and your BF or GF are going to stand in front of everyone (making those on the lawn behind you stand so that they can see), don't be grinding on one another and kissing on each other. I am already ticked that you are making me stand, so I REALLY don't want to see that.

Ladies seriously, use your heads and take a look in the mirror. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, a little dignity please...

Dignity is like a perfume; those who use it are scarcely conscious of it. AH, I like that quote. OK, ladies and gentlemen, it is time that I talk about the bachelor and bachelorette party traditions. OH DEAR LORD! This is crazy business. I will start with the guys...

SO, let me get this straight, as you go off into marriage, your buddies think it is a good idea for you to get stinking drunk, possibly gamble your honeymoon or house downpayment away (if in Vegas or a casino) and stare at/dance/touch "exotic" dancers all night. What part of this says, hey buddy, congratulations you get to spend the rest of your life with the woman you are some boobs or poker chips? I mean, I know men are visual and like naked woman, but it just seems counterintuitive to me. Hey, if your buddy went through a bad divorce or break-up, YEP, makes sense to me. Hey, dude, there are other fish in the sea, and here is a naked one in front of you! But hey dude, you are getting married, here are women that you never get to sleep with, just seems unfair. And I have nothing against strip clubs, hey guys, go for it. And IF I HAD a man and he wanted to go, FINE, just make sure you come home to me, is all I ask. Gentlemen, pull yourself together and actually act like gentlemen!

SADLY, the ladies are worse, at least the guys don't wear female genitalia at their parties. Most bachelorette parties start with a "personal" shower where you give the bride to be lingerie, sex toys, and various other embarrassing items that you don't want granny, who is sitting in the back, to see. So then the "friends" dress the bride up in a vail, tiara, SUCK FOR BUCK t-shirt and a PENIS necklace to go out for the evening to get stinking drunk. WHAT? What part of "I am getting married" says, I need to wear a penis necklace or carry a penis waterbottle? Ladies, male genitalia is not attractive, WHY are you wearing it? Maybe I am TOO romantic about weddings...WAIT, have you met me? I am not romantic! But anyway, isn't a wedding supposed to be about marrying the love of your life? I just don't understand how going out and acting like a moron while wearing penises and letting guys suck on your shirt SCREAMS "I am a bride to be".

Ladies seriously, let's act with a little dignity. I am not saying don't go out and have a good time with friends to celebrate your pending nupitals, I am just saying don't wear penises and don't act like a total moron with a vail. Honestly, it makes all women look less classy. SO GO get married, have fun, but ALWAYS be a classy lady.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy

A good quote from Emerson! Hello ladies and gentlemen, sorry I have been so lax in getting my posts up, it has been Gamma Phi Beta land for several weeks. As I mentioned in my last post, I was headed to Convention and happily, I don't have much to report from the ladies seriously police. Most of our collegiate (and alumnae) women were dressed appropriately, some could use some lessons, but hey, even I make bad clothing decisions. SO I thought instead I would comment today on the general rudeness of Americans in public...yep, that's right I said Americans in general...

Here is my question, have we gotten SO committed to the internet, texting and emailing that we don't understand how to be kind to one another in person. Case in point, yesterday, I was at the post office buying stamps. I was coming out of the door and a woman (probably in her 60s) and her mother (probably in her 90s) were coming in. The 90 year old woman was moving slow, so I held the door open for both of them. DO YOU THINK either of them acknowledged me or thanked me? NOPE, not a word. Now, I would have held the door either way because it is the right thing to do, I am not fishing for compliments, but come on took these women a good minute or two to get through the door. I believe I did say you are welcome out loud as I closed the door.

So here is what I am saying, ladies seriously, please have some common courtesy when in public. Be cognizant of those around you and for crying out loud, have some manners! Here are some ladies seriously guidelines for being classy ladies in public:

1. If you are in the elevator and someone is clearly trying to catch it before the door closes, HIT THE OPEN DOOR button! Help someone out. And move to the side, if someone needs to get out on a floor ahead of you.

2. If you are coming or going into a store (or Starbucks in my case), hold the door open for the next person. And if someone does it for you, thank them!

3. In traffic, if someone lets you into a line of traffic, give them the thank you WAVE. BUT, don't cut someone off and wave....

4. If you are in line at the grocery store and you have 50+ items and the person behind you has TWO, let them go ahead of you. This happened to me recently at the store, I had two items and she had a cart full, she let me in front of nice. And I did thank her.

5. If you have a child and are shopping with a HUGE stroller, PLEASE don't block aisles or bump that stroller into others! AND if you are walking down the street, make sure you aren't taking up the ENTIRE sidewalk with your stroller.

6. If you are walking with a group, don't spread out across the entire sidewalk, so the people coming the other direction have to walk in the grass (for crying out loud, some rude person with a dog probably didn't pick up the poop and that person might step in it).

7. If you are in line somewhere (pick a store), don't talk LOUDLY on your cell phone. No one in line needs to hear your conversation with your mom about what you had for dinner last night.

8. If you are at a busy restaurant, and there are CLEARLY people waiting for tables, don't lallygag around getting extra coffee or drinks after dinner. Take it the bar next door, some people may still be waiting to eat.

9. If you are on a public bus or train, please give up your seat for an elderly person, disabled person or pregnant woman. If you are able bodied, you can stand for a few minutes until your stop.

10. If you are in a public place, PLEASE turn your iPOD down! I don't need to hear Barry Manilow cutting it up. If it is that loud, you are damaging your ear drums!

11. If you have strong opinions about religion, politics, adoption, etc, don't air those opinions until you know your audience well. My niece and nephew are adopted and you cannot imagine the RUDE things that are said to my sister and family.

OK, so you get it. Ladies seriously, think about how you would like to be treated and do the same for others (HMMMM, where have I hear that golden rule before?). I get so irritated when I encounter RUDE behavior in public. Honestly, if you are having a bad day, you don't need to take it out on the kind gentlemen who just held the elevator for you.

So that is all for now, ladies seriously, keep it classy! CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Less is More!

Well, hello ladies and gentlemen! It has seriously been a long time since I have been so moved to post on my blog. But here I am on Father's Day (Happy Day to my dad) and thought it was time to talk about an issue that men and women have been disagreeing about for years. It seems men are all for it and women roll their eyes. What does Jerry say on Seinfeld, looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You can't stare at it long, it's too risky. You get a sense of it then you look away.

Ladies seriously, a little bit of cleavage goes a long way. Now, I know that many of you have ta-ta's that are much bigger than mine (B to C cup, if you must know) and even wearing a tank top with a regular bra makes you look like bodacious Betty. Several of my friends have to wear a couple of bras when working out. So I am not speaking those of you that have a large chest and know how to use it (meaning wearing the appropriate bra, and not wearing the plunging neckline if you are over a D cup).

Nope, I am talking about those ladies that choose not to keep it classy and are sporting the ridiculous cleavage at places like the office, a funeral, church, etc. Ladies seriously, cover it up in those arenas. Do you really think it is professional to have men staring at your chest and not your face when you are presenting next year's budget or mourning the loss of Uncle Bob? Here is the ladies seriously rule of thumb...necklines that dip below the top of your boobs are NOT cool in conservative settings including some weddings, dinner parties with future in laws, business meetings, presenting to a volunteer organization, the office, church, grandma and grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary party, etc.

Now, I have been known to sport some cleavage from time to time and hey, it's OK in certain settings, and it can be very sexy when done appropriately. And as long as you are wearing a bra and the girls are up and out, have at it, be confident, and yeah let the men look, if that is what you want. All I am saying is look in the mirror and be smart about what you see, if you are seeing more than 25% of your boobs, it is not OK. And ladies seriously, if you have an enhanced chest or a natural chest that is large and you are sporting some major cleavage, you are not allowed to be offended if men (or women for that matter) stare. Guess what, they are men and that is what they do.

Speaking of enhancements...I am not making any type of statement about plastic surgery, what you choose to do your body is your business. My only hope is that you are making those decisions based on your own best interest and not anyone else's, but other than that, have it. But ladies seriously, know this, if you were previously a B cup and now you are pushing a D cup, people WILL notice and men WILL stare and you have to be prepared for that. Cute little Kate Hudson had a very small chest and had surgery to enhanced them to a B-small C and she was in Us and People magazine for weeks...

So ladies seriously, cover it up! Be smart and classy with your body. A little bit of skin goes a long way. So this next week, I am headed to lovely Orlando, FL for the big Gamma Phi Beta Convention, I really hope I don't have many ladies seriously moments while there...sisters! please keep it classy.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ladies! Footwear 101

Ok, ladies, you know about my snobbery and obsession with shoes. So I think it is time that we discuss what is going on with some of you and your feet. In my last blog post, I touched on it a bit...mid calf boots on a short person, NO, Wellies with capris, NO, Flat Wooden Beaded Sandals with a sequin dress, NO and yes, I have to say it again, Uggs, NO...

Well, as I mentioned, I have been the social gal in the big city in the past few weeks and I have observed some MAJOR footwear offenders and therefore, I felt it was time for me to dedicate an entire blog post to the subject. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you shouldn't wear comfortable shoes, if you prefer flat shoes, that is fine (well, it really isn't, but...) I am saying that your shoes should ENHANCE your clothing, your body type and shape and your FOOT. So here are some reminders...

1. RUBBER FLIP FLOPS ARE FOR THE SHOWER and VERY CASUAL CLOTHING. OMG...really, rubber flip flops? I saw two ladies at a swanky club wearing short, fairly cute dresses with black RUBBER flip flops. No, not a cute pair of beaded or sequin flip flops...but RUBBER. Where are these things coming from? Ladies, don't do it.

2. If you have a pair of shoes that with 5 inch heels and you can't walk in them, DON'T wear them. I saw a girl in a fairly fashionable outfit (jeans and a cute top) with SKY HIGH heels and she was barely being able to get one foot in front of the other. Even Christian Louboutin would frown.

3. Boots are for the winter (and sometimes in spring and fall) but NEVER the summer. Please put them away. Wellies are OK, if you follow the correct clothing guidelines with it, see blog post from May 12th.

4. Boat shoes. WOW, never thought I would see these things come back in, but lo and behold, I opened my In Style mag the other day and there they were. Ok, boat shoes probably need to stay with a nautical theme or a fairly preppy theme. And BTW, don't wear the old ones that you have left over from the 80s, buy a new pair if you want to support this style. YES, it is true, I saw a chick with a white canvas pair on at the bar and those babies had to be circa 1984.

5. Fads are fads ladies. I saw that those jelly sandals are back in as well. Oh yeah and apparently espadrilles are also making a come back. This is all good, but ladies, they are fads and will be OUT next year, so don't spend a lot of money on them and pair them with a casual cute summer outfit and then trash them at the end of the season.

6. Classics are always classics. Simple pumps, strappy sandals and Mary Jane style shoes will always be in. So if you are going on an interview or simply have a cute dress and you are unsure of which way to go, you can always stick with the basics.

7. Black shoes are not always the best standby. I know as women we own like 10 pairs of black shoes. But if you are wearing a lighter colored dress or outfit, brown, champagne or silver are good options. Sometimes a splash of color is good, like a red, pink or green might be fun.

8. If you have open toed shoes (which are my favorite), please make sure your toenails are presentable. Polished toes are preferred, but if you don't like to polish, at least make sure they are properly cut, filed and buffed. In the fall and spring, it is OK to wear OPAQUE tights or socks with your open toed shoes. If these is snow on the ground, NOT OK. NEVER OK, to wear nude pantyhose with your open toed shoes. GAWD, I HATE nude pantyhose!

So, ladies seriously, look at your feet before you leave the house. As I said before, your shoes should enhance your fashion. AND your footwear shouldn't take away from your fashion OR draw attention away from your assets like your curves or your face. And please stop wearing those rubber flip flops!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fashion fades only style remains.

OH, COCO Chanel, you always had it right my dear. Ok ladies, I have been out on the town recently and have found MANY, MANY fashion offenders and so it is time once again for JZZRGRL to send you lovely ladies some fashion reminders and some fashion updates!

1. Just because the Kardashians wear it, doesn't mean it is IN fashion or that you look good in it. Case in point, what is up with these shorts romper things that I have seen out there? Really ladies? I wore those when I was 5. This is NOT good fashion and especially not appropriate to wear out to a bar. Oh yeah and one of them had boots on with it...YUCK.

2. Ladies...if you are short, PLEASE do not wear those boots that only come up to your mid calves. A. they make you look shorter, B. it is spring, boots are passe. And they just makes you look frumpy. Especially those ones in that weird brown color.

3. Accessories are JUST as important as the outfit. FIRST and foremost, SHOES. I saw a marginally cute girl wearing a very cute champagne colored dress with sequins. She had on BLACK, FLAT, WOODEN BEADED sandals with it. Really, why would you ruin your outfit? I personally would have worn champagne or silver strappy heels with it, BUT if she prefers to wear low shoes, wear some satin mules or beaded kitten heels. SAVE the flat sandals for your shorts or capris.

4. Handbags DO count. If you are out at a club, don't bring your everyday hangbag. Why would you want to carry that big thing around? AND it usually doesn't look good with your going out outfit. When you go out, think MILK, Money, ID, Lipstick and Keys, that is all you need. You might want to add phone and credit card into that mix. You can pick up some SUPER cute small bags at Target or Kohls for this purpose, you only use the handbag for a few hours a weekend so WHO CARES if it is cheap!

5. ONCE again, I cannot say it enough times, wear the appropriate undergarments ladies. It is NOT OKAY to wear a thong with every single thing you own, sometimes, you need panties or boy shorts. AND, back fat hanging over your bra is NOT cute. Make sure to invest in a few different styles and colors of bras so that they go with all of your outfits. Ladies, REALLY, wear a bra (the girls should be up and out) and wear the appropriate underwear.

6. It is NEVER OK to wear skin tight shiny leggings. These went out with the leg warmers and thong leotards in the 80s. Yes, I SAW IT. She had on a short sweater and white sneakers. I am guessing she was not right in the head.

7. Outerwear. OK, it is spring, ladies, really, put the North Face coat and Uggs away. They can hibernate for the summer (well, you know my opinion on the Uggs, they should hibernate FOREVER, but...) You should owe at least one trench coat for cooler spring evenings or rain. And personally, on cooler spring or summer evenings, I make sure to take a cute sweater or wrap with me.

8. Rain boots...OK, ladies, I know that there are some SUPER CUTE wellies out there. Heck, I have two pairs in my hallway, one pair is a VERY cute pink Burberry. These boots don't look good with everything and I see people wearing them with EVERYTHING, they espeically don't look good with capris. If you have jeans or pants that look OK tucked into the wellies, that is fine, but be careful that the jeans don't bag at the knees. Hey, they might look cute with a casual skirt or dress, think Anthropologie or J. Crew.

So there you have it, my observations in the past two weeks...YIKES, that is a lot. The rules are basic...simply look in the mirror before you leave the house. GEEZ, I am so meticulous, I check like 4-5 times..I know OCD.

BTW, we are up to date number 4 with Mr. Harvard so stay tuned for more updates there. OH yeah, and several of the dead to me men have been popping back up, man, I have those boomerangers!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Bitter always tastes better with a good martini!

Ok, ladies, it has been a while since I have updated you on the craziness of the single ladies world or the fashion world. And let me tell you, I have been out a couple of times recently and I have A LOT of fashion fodder to make comments on, which you will see soon, BUT, I have decided to ditch the bitterness (as long as I can have a good martini with it) and I thought would change gears on you all and spread some positive light on our friends of the opposite sex.

So, surprising as it may seem, I am still single as you all know. I really haven't a decent string of dates in many years. AND I recently went through the heartache of being used for my "physical" attributes by a guy I really liked (Napa). So let's just say, I wasn't batting a 1000 (to use sports terminology that our gentlemen readers can follow). One might say, I have a reason to be bitter about men, but ALAS, I actually have been out twice with a really nice guy and so ladies seriously, I thought I would share some positive things about him and we will call him Harvard for obvious reasons...

Mr. Harvard is the cousin of a good friend of mine and has recently moved backed to CHI-TOWN from Manhattan. Younger man (33 years old, does that make me a cougar yet...since my sister suggested that is the route I should take? Thanks Bubba, really appreciate that on my BDAY), has a good job, lives in my area code, has good fashion and can carry on a decent conversation. Now, this guy is wicked smart (Harvard undergrad, Harvard Law) and is not condescending or arrogant, just a cool fun guy. BUT, ladies seriously, here is the best part...he has some manners and some class, I haven't seen that in dating prospects recently, so color me surprised! Here are a few highlights:

1. We met at a local establishment by my condo on a Saturday night. I, being a good Chicagoan, simply walked there. He had driven, but instead of driving me back to my place...he walked me home!
2. Opens car doors and pulls out chairs.
3. Asked for a 3rd date in the middle of the 2nd date...HUH?
4. Hasn't tried to get me naked or get into my condo yet or even kiss me yet, rest assured that will be corrected soon, the kissing part, ladies!.
5. Asks me questions about my business and wants to help me with my business, which shows forethought and interest in me...

So, ladies and gentlemen, I am not saying send me down the aisle, I really like the pace that this one is going...I am just saying, it is so nice to meet a polite, classy guy, who genuinely shows an interest in me (oh and BTW is pretty cute). I haven't had one of those since 2006 (yep, that's you, crazy redheaded Irish guy, I know you are reading this).

Here is my message, ladies seriously, you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find a prince! And I guess it is good to know that there are classy guys out there, you just have look for a long time. And even when if met a classy guy, he might not be the right guy, which is OK. BUT it is sure nice to find one every once in a while. Just think of it this after 30 is like shopping on the clearance rack, everything is either returned or damaged, but every once in a while when searching through that clearance rack, you find a BEAUTIFUL Prada handbag for 85% off with no damage...


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

It's not something you can run from like a crying baby or a bill...

My girl, Karen Walker provided the quote for the title. LOVE HER! Ok, so this subject came up recently with some girlfriends and I thought it was time to discuss. I had friend go on a first date with a guy for drinks. It wasn't the greatest date (he was a BAD kisser, see blog post, This Kiss, This Kiss from August 24, 2009). But the worse part about it was that he let her pay the bill for the drinks and gave her cash for his portion. I'm sorry but I guess chivalry really is DEAD! If the guy asks you out on a first date, he should really pay.

So, it actually got me to thinking about the whole subject of paying the bill when going out for drinks, dinner or any type of entertainment with a date or even a group of friends. So what is proper protocol when paying for a date? Now, I am not one to believe that the guy always pays, because as an independent woman, I believe it is my responsibility to pay my way. But what is appropriate? Ladies seriously, if you are dating someone, or say you get to a FIVER (meaning you have had 5 dates with someone) and it is obvious that things are going well, maybe you should call and ask the guy out and PAY for it. It doesn't have to be extravagant, but trust me, the guy will LIKE it. It is NOT cool to always make the guy pay. But gentlemen, that doesn't mean you get off easy either, don't always let your woman plan the evening out. Trust me I had an ex-husband like that and it was EXHAUSTING. It is nice to be surprised sometimes. I say that it should be a fair give and take between the two. Class on both sides.

So what happens when you are out with a group of friends (guys, girls or mixed company)? How do you handle the bill when it comes? Well, my opinion is that you simply split it with the entire group, UNLESS, you have someone who only had soup and coffee and everyone else had 3 courses and two bottles of wine. Now, none of my friends are this way, but I have heard of people that divide up the bill to the penny and excluding the tax, doing the tip, blah, blah, blah...REALLY? Ladies and gentlemen, are your friends really worth squabbling over a few dollars? Back in the day when I was bringing over 6 figures, I certainly didn't have a problem making up the difference for friends that maybe were struggling a bit financially. AND NOW that I am a business owner, my friends are happy to help me out a bit. It will all come out in the wash and who cares, it is a few dollars and they are your good friends? So ladies seriously, have some class about the bill.

I guess once again the golden rule applies once again (funny how that works), treat your friends and you would have them treat you! That includes your bar bill (trust me, my bar bill sometimes equals the GNP of a small country)!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

You can't teach an old dog new tricks!

Yes, it is an overused saying, but I am finding that is it still applicable to many of our friends of the opposite sex. My parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year and I have to laugh sometimes when my mamala complains about things that my dad does (or most of the time doesn't do). She has been complaining about the same things for as long as I can remember. And guess what, she still loves him, BUT he AIN'T going to change and she knows it.

And I always have to wonder what women are thinking when they meet a guy and find a few things that they don't like about him. And what does she try to do? Change him, right? And gentlemen, does this work? GENERALLY NO...there might be a few areas that can be changed if the man wants them to be, like his fashion choices, he may need a makeover and if lady is willing to work with it, OK. But his choices in music, friends, leisure activities or his willingness be faithful to you...probably not. And ladies, I know you are FABULOUS and you would think that your fabulousness alone would be enough to change him, but....NO.

So is it does beg the question, ladies, why do you look for or choose to date guys that don't fit your basic criteria? I guess, I know the answer because there is so much pressure to be a couple versus being a single that a lot of times, you LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH, as opposed to finding the right one. AND TRUST ME, I KNOW, I have been single for about 10 years and it gets really OLD. And I love my married friends and family, who tell me, "he's just around the corner" or "that guy isn't worth it". Well, you know what, my dear friends and family, easy for you to say, sometimes not so easy to live with.

But, ladies seriously, either love your man for who he is and don't try to change him OR if there are things about him that you can't live with, then get out of the relationship. Relationships are definitely about compromise, but you have to decide for yourself what you can and can't live with. I mean, if you are like me and prefer short bald men and find a fabulous tall man with hair, are you really going to break up with him...probably not! But if you need someone who loves dogs as much as you do and your man hates all animals, that might be a deal breaker, or if he smokes or doesn't like kids. Ladies, it way more classy to be true to yourself and your needs than stay in a relationship just so you can have one and then to try to change your man.

So the best thing that you can do is be true to who you are and eventually the right prince charming will come along..or at least that is what I keep saying to myself!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Ladies seriously...your intuition is usually right.

Ladies, do you ever get that feeling? You know the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. Something is not quite right? Ever get into a situation with someone and that red flag in your head starts to go up. Well, I am finding that you should never ignore your intuition. If you ignore it, generally speaking, you are kicking yourself later because your intuition is USUALLY right.

Now, I know that I am notoriously BAD at picking the right man. And a lot of times when I think a guy is really a good guy, he really isn't. But generally even when I think a guy is a good guy, I have this gut feeling that he is bad news and I am usually right. You would actually be proud of me, recently, that little red flag went up when I was planning on meeting on an old work colleague to discuss his new business venture. I was genuinely interested to see if he would possibly have a job for me in the future. Well, my intent was to meet with him during the day for coffee or soda. And he, of course, kept being real elusive about the time and the place. And then ultimately pushed it to drinks after dinner. BIG RED FLAG...this man is married and simply wanted to hit on me (for the back story on him refer to blog post It's not OK from November 15, 2009). I cancelled the get together and have not spoken to him since.

So, I know what you thinking, why is JZZRGRL bringing this up now? Well, yes, if you guessed that I have a personal story to tell, well then you guessed right. I recently spent time with a very good looking guy who lives outside my ZIP code (and PS, has a long term girlfriend). Said man and I have known each other for over a year and have always been friendly. Recently SAID man and I starting communicating via text, email, Skype, phone, etc and found that not only did we have a physical attraction to one another, we also had a lot in common and found that we actually enjoyed speaking to one another. HOWEVER, that little red flag was going up in the back of my mind. I even SAID man that I was concerned that I was going to be the loser in this scenario (for the back story on SAID man, please refer to the post Once a cheater, always a cheater on August 1st).

So of course, I did see him a few weeks ago. I spent three nights with him and yes, we had a great time. It ALL worked if you know what I mean. SAID man spent 6 weeks texting, calling and getting to know prior to our planned time together. SAID man had also been making comments about coming to see me on other vacations, etc, etc...

SO WHAT, do you think happened? YEP, you guessed it, I got back from the trip and have heard from him exactly three times. AND most times it was in response to a text or email from me. So those red flags, saying you are only being used for one thing and he has a GF, why is interested in you? YEP, they were all correct. SO SAID MAN! THANK YOU very much for confirming EXACTLY what I thought would happen. And the most disappointing part, I considered him a friend and his actions are so disappointing as a friend! Complete lack of class, no matter what the situation.

So ladies seriously, hear me NOW. If something seems not right, it probably isn't and don't make the mistake I made! Because I actually really liked this guy and now I am hurt and disappointed. You are too fabulous to have to be in my situation!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'd rather be alone then be unhappy...

WARNING! This ladies seriously post is a bit deeper than most, SO be prepared and YOU have been warned.

I believe that Whitney Houston sang this in her song, "It's not right, but it's OK". So a couple of weekends ago, I spent time with my Gamma Phi Beta sisters (volunteer leaders and collegians). I was struck by conversations with some of our over 50 women who are still single ladies like myself. Most of whom have never been married and chose careers and higher education over getting married earlier in life. Now these are highly educated, well put together women who still want to find someone to grow old with. However, they have not settled for someone that makes them unhappy. And also have serious regrets about not getting married and having children. I completely understand their situation because this is exactly what I am looking for as well. I don't need to be married, but I would like someone around to push my wheelchair when I can't walk from knee damage due to years of Jazzercise! And I know a lot of women that feel the same way.

And then I started thinking about many of my guy friends who are in unhappy relationships, living together or not, and they just stay in the relationship. Why? Because they can't stand to be alone, which is just sad. Just this week, a VERY good guy friend of mine found out that his sales job had been eliminated. Fortunately, his company found him another job in the company and therefore, he will not be without a paycheck, he just won't be seeing his sales commission check. So he went home to tell his live in girlfriend about losing his job and commission check. Keep in mind that these two have been together for over 8 years. And the GF was NOT sympathetic or understanding, she was more concerned about the loss of the commission check. REALLY? This is a man that you supposedly love and you can't be supportive of his loss. Now, I am not one to hand out advice on relationships, but I told him to RUN LIKE THE WIND from this relationship, she obviously doesn't love him or know how to be supportive. And if she is this way in a situation like this, how will she be with a real tragedy, tough times or kids?

I know of countless men who are in relationships (married or not) who date outside their relationship or sleep around. I used to work with a guy who was living with his GF and was never convinced that he wanted to get married. We traveled together once and had I not stopped it, I am sure he would have cheated on her with me...GUESS WHAT? He married her last year. Do you think that marriage is going to last or that he is NOT going to cheat on her? HECK NO!

The ones that I have the hardest time with are those that are not married, WHY ARE you cheating? Just break up with your GF, I have always believed that if you are cheating then you are obviously missing something in your current relationship OR like the case of one of my very good guy friends, you are simply not ready to make a commitment.

So gentlemen (and LADIES TOO, because ladies, I know you do it as well, heck I have done it) seriously, let me say to this you loud and clear, if you are cheating, then you are not with the right woman (or man). And I know relationships and marriage are hard, but my parents have been married 40 years but neither of them has ever considered cheating. My sister and brother in law have been married for almost 12 years, no cheating...

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, in this day and age (facebook, email, text, twitter, skype and the good old fashioned phone), please be alone and happy. Don't stay in a relationship that you know doesn't work just so that you have someone. I was married for three years, and my EX did me a favor by divorcing me, I got a 2nd chance to find the right person for me (unfortunately, 10 years later, I am still looking). You can EVEN really love a person and be in the wrong relationship. I dated Joe for 2 1/2 years and I really, really loved him, he still wasn't the right person for me and we had to break up.

WHEW...that was deep, I think I need some wine. Enjoy the rest of your week, I am off to my hometown for a wine event (imagine that). Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, March 22, 2010

SERIOUSLY VEGAS...My suggestions for you!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I did promise an on location post from Vegas. Unfortunately, I was just a bit too lazy...SO SUE ME...I was at the Bellagio Pool every day. Wow..great trip, lots of fun, pretty much in control the whole time and AMAZING shopping. No, I did not buy anything, but I did get to see my favorite friends, Chanel, Manolo, Louboutin, and Prada...

So I realized on this trip, that maybe I am a bit too conservative (which I highly doubt) or maybe behind the times (like I didn't realize that espadrilles were making a strong comeback OR maybe they never went out of style), but here are my fashion and social observances from Vegas. AND YES I know, it is Vegas, and many things that are acceptable there are not acceptable other places, but just because you change your location there is no reason to not be classy:

1. I will repeat...tights are not pants. If you can see your legs through your tights/leggings, they are not pants.

2. What is with the 32 gallon Eiffel Tower drinks? With a strap so that you can wear your drink around your neck? Ladies and gentlemen, if you need that much alcohol and you need to walk around Vegas with it, you may need Betty Ford and not Vegas. EVERY SINGLE place sells these things, YUCK!

3. Vegas is NOT a family friendly place. PLEASE don't take your children there. I actually observed a man standing in a casino with his child watching a woman dance on a pole...If you have a child that needs a stroller, you might want to consider Disney World, don't push your stroller through the casino.

4. HEY VEGAS...can you make your streets and sidewalks a little easier to walk on...I got my heel stuck no fewer than three times. Good thing I didn't fall ;) OH yeah and get with the times, no smoking in casinos. I KNOW that would cause a problem but I was so used to not smelling like smoke when going out, it took me a few days to get used to it.

5. LADIES! Wear an appropriate bra. There are a lot of fake boobs in Vegas and those girls need to be lifted and covered. And invest in some fashion tape. Thank you.

6. Oh yeah and Vegas...get better wine. Seriously, the only place that had decent wine was the Bellagio. Maybe that is why we sat there for like 3 hours watching people, WOW, there is a lot to watch.

7. LASTLY, ladies, if you are in Vegas for your bachelorette party, it is still NOT OKAY to wear a penis necklace. Why do girls think that is funny or appropriate? What would Coco do?

So there you have it, I know nothing new that I haven't said before. Same rules, different venue. I am off to a wine event in lovely Omaha this upcoming weekend. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Tights DO NOT Equal Pants!

Good afternoon ladies! So I had a trip to a suburban mall yesterday. And of course, I did not wear sensible shoes and wound up sitting in the middle of the mall resting my feet from my fabulous Prada shoes. And I literally was APPALLED at the fashion DON'Ts that passed me by in just 15 minutes! LADIES? When did workout pants or Uggs boots and tights become OK attire for the mall?

Let me set it up for you, it wasn't really COLD in Chicago yesterday, about 45 degrees, so no need for shorts and flip flops, but not really fuzzy boot weather either. It was an indoor mall. So in true ladies seriously fashion (pun intended), here are some new rules of fashion from yours truly:

1. TIGHTS DO NOT EQUAL PANTS OR LEGGINGS. The redhead and I saw a woman (pushing a stroller) wearing a big shirt coming down ABOUT mid-thigh, with a big stretchy belt, TIGHTS (yes, they were see through) and a pair of UGG style tie up boots (they came to her knees). Ladies, if you are going with this style, the shirt or dress should come 3/4 down your thigh AND PLEASE wear opaque leggings, we shouldn't be able to see your skin.

2. UGG Boots....OH DEAR LORD when is this fashion trend going to pass? Ladies, I understand that you need to keep your feet warm in 20 below weather...but really in 45 degree weather, they are not needed and with sweat pants, I have never seen footwear make young women look short and lazy like these silly boots. Really, can we put these boots away now?

3. Workout Pants/Leggings. Ok, we saw a women in running tights, running shoes and a short jacket. And don't get me wrong, she was VERY fit, but it was just weird. If you are taking the time to run inside the mall, take the time to change into something more appropriate. Running tights should only be worn to RUN IN.

4. Jeans tucked inside boots. I know this is a hot trend right now, and if you are thin and tall, GO FOR IT. But if you have a big ol' bootie like mine, this is not a good fashion trend for you. I saw a woman WORKING in a store selling jeans. And ladies, she had big ol' bootie with skin tight jeans tucked into a pair of boots. The jeans were low rise and she was bending over to stack jeans OR something and her pink and black lace THONG was out there for all the world to see. In addition, the jeans had a bunch of rhinestones on the pockets and she was wearing a sequin belt. OVERLOAD, OVERLOAD. Ladies, if you have a larger backside or hips, you don't need to draw more attention to that area with sequins, lace thongs and the like. THAT area is going to draw attention all on it's own. TRUST me, I speak from experience on that one.

I am not saying you need to be dressed to the NINEs to go to the mall, but ladies, clean it up. You are out in public. Be realistic about your body type, wear appropriate PANTS and undergarments. The WORLD doesn't want to see your me.

Seriously, what would Coco do? So I leave for Vegas on Wednesday...I KNOW I will have material for you while I am stay tuned for on location blogging!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen....introducing the poster child for classlessness....JOHN MAYER!

Ok, you knew I had to talk about this creep. He may be able to play the guitar and sing (and that is questionable), but class, he AIN'T GOT! Now, I know this interview was a while ago...but really dude? You are going to talk to about two beautiful actresses and your sex life with them to a national media outlet. It is NOT OKAY. If you live under a rock or just don't pay attention, here is the gist. John Mayer was doing an interview with Playboy magazine and talked about his sex life with both Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson. Now, I know that it is Playboy, but honestly, Playboy has more class than John Mayer. Gentlemen, really...classy gentlemen don't kiss and tell, especially not OVER twitter, facebook, texts from last night or the national media. And if it a woman that you really like, you shouldn't even share it over beers with your buddies.

And ladies, same goes for you...Really, Courtney Love, do we need to have a naked picture of you on twitter? Ladies, please don't share the intimate details of your sex life with everyone on twitter, facebook and whatever other public arena you like to use. It is just not classy at all. Now, I understand if you want to chat it up with your girlfriends about your sex life. I get it, trust me Smiles and the redhead know plenty about my various trysts, but keep that chatter between you and your besties and leave everyone else out. And for those of you looking to get jobs in the future, you probably don't want that hanging out in cyberspace, TRUST ME, future employers will find it.

And I am not telling you to go all prude and prissy, like we were taught we were supposed to be (or least I was, HEY I am from Nebraska, one of the reddest states in the whole US)...but what you do behind closed doors with your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend OR date for the night, is your business! Never has been my place to judge anyone's actions, decisions or life choices, as far as I am concerned, only one person gets to do that and HE lives upstairs. Just don't broadcast those decisions out for everyone. What if your grandmother saw that, would she be proud? I doubt it.

So after having recently watched the movie, Coco Before Chanel, I have decided that we are starting a new me the woman was an icon and a bastion of class and style. She started her own fashion label in Paris when women were only supposed to be seen, not heard and women were especially not allowed to own their own business. So when presented with a situation whether it be fashion or social, ask yourself, What would Coco do? OK, try it this weekend! I certainly will I have lots of opportunities.

Ladies and gentlemen have a fabulous weekend. Look for me at the BEP Concert on Saturday night. Next week I am headed to Vegas, I am thinking I need an on location post!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen...really? Don't be a sore loser!

Ok, I have to say it, not matter which side of the Evan Lysacek vs. Evgeni Plushenko men's figure skating controversy that you sit on, I have never seen such a SORE loser in my whole life as I have seen in Plushenko. Really, dude? I just read that he awarded himself a PLATINUM medal on his website since he feels he is the real champion. I have to say that is the ultimate of classlessness! And I watched both performances and honestly I could have gone either way, they both had great performances. So Plushenko, hear me now, let it GO! And Elvis Stojko chiming in one side was very unclassy as well.

So it got me to thinking about the Friends episode where Joey is nominated for a "Soapie" as Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives and Rachel tells him that he has to practice how to react if he loses. And then he does lose, and he is visibility angry on the camera and steals the trophy from another actress who is on his show. Funny episode, of course...And it is clever the way that present the episode as a lesson on how not to act.

Reminds me of another story that I heard over the weekend about Andy Roddick in the Italian Open in 2005. Roddick was leading the match 5-3 in the second set and had triple match point against Verdasco. Verdasco's serve was called out and Roddick had won the match. Verdasco had approached the net to shake his hand. Roddick called the line judge over to show a dent in the clay where it clearly showed that Verdasco's ball had landed on the line and his serve was in. The line judge agreed and the match was resumed. Roddick went on to lose the match. Many of you may have heard the story but it was the first time that I heard it and wanted to repeat it as a true act of class in a competition.

Ladies and gentlemen, there will be many times in your life, whether in a competition, an election or for an award, where you will be up against others, whether they are your friends or not. And guess what, you might not win. And someone else may win, even if you think are you more deserving. There may even have been a scoring mistake. But the best way to handle any of it is to be poised and classy. As hard as it may be, have some grace and congratulate the winner. Take your 2nd place prize (or 3rd) and excuse yourself. If you need to be angry or sad, do it on your own time OR vent to family and friends later. Don't start an investigation into the judging OR reward yourself a more deserving prize. Really, is it worth it? It makes you look like an idiot.

It seems like this subject should be something that everyone understands but wow...after last week's ice skating drama, I thought it necessary to say something. Being such a college sports fan, I have always been impressed by those coaches that have class when they lose (and especially those tough games where the officiating may have been questionable), they go congratulate the other team and in press conferences say classy things about the other team and coach. It takes more character to admit when you didn't play your best game than it does to put the other team down.

So ladies and gentlemen, you don't get to stop being classy in a competition! In fact, it usually requires more class. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Another Valentine's Day is OVER!

Well, ladies, did you survive? Isn't it amazing how a stoopid holiday can make you crazy? So after surviving our Anti-Valentine's Day pub crawl, I have a few observations from this holiday. First, let me say, LADIES, nice work on Saturday night. I didn't find too many ladies seriously don'ts in all 4 bars I was in. Well, other than the chick was throwing up in the bar bathroom at 8 PM in the evening. Seemed a bit early to be doing that (and a bit disgusting to ever do it). Life is a marathon not a sprint! Second, let me give a shout out to the ladies and gentlemen that participated in our pub crawl and once again kept it classy. We had a great time, were out for like 7 hours, no one was inappropriate or obnoxious and not a single one passed out or threw up. And safety first, everyone took cabs and the suburbanites stayed my condo. All in all, a great night!

So, let's discuss this holiday...Valentine's Day. Speaking from someone who was broken up with on V day last year, it is not my favorite holiday. On a side note, I bought him an iPOD as a V Day gift last year, so I sold it on eBay this year! I started to think about why men get so weird on and around Valentine's Day. In fact, I saw Valentine's Day the movie this past weekend (cute movie, yes predictable and bit sappy, but hey...oh I am SOOOO Jessica Biel in that film) but anyway, Jamie Foxx said in the movie that he had do downplay his "playerness" from January to St. Patrick's Day so that he wasn't required to spend a lot of money on V Day. So one of my guy friends offered up the opinion that there is a lot of pressure put on men to do the right thing for Valentine's Day. He has to be romantic...So much thought goes into the card, and the gift and dinner, etc. And if you have only been dating for a few months, he has to plan something that isn't too suggestive or is just enough. And if you have been dating for a while, there is possibly the pressure of an engagement ring. It just seems silly. When did it all become such a game?

Although I feel like a broken record because I say this all the time, but ladies and gentlemen seriously, the important people in your life should feel loved everyday of the year, it shouldn't require some big romantic gesture to make them feel loved. And ladies, give your guy a break, don't expect him to drop $1000 on Valentine's Day for dinner ($300), flowers ($100), candy ($100) and a gift...And maybe if you want, next year, tell him that you are in charge of the plans for the holiday. Give him a break! And you know I don't give you gentlemen a break very often, so take it now!

Ladies seriously, don't put a lot of stock in a silly holiday, if you know that your man loves you, don't expect extra gifts and flowers on February 14th, you should honestly feel very blessed because you know he loves you. Not everyone gets something like that! HECK, I have been divorced for almost 10 years and I have had EXACTLY three boyfriends in that time, one that lasted 2 1/2 years, one that lasted 6 months and one that lasted 6 weeks. I would love to know that I had a man that loved me! ;) Still waiting for Jason Statham to realize I am available.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

ALAS! Chivalry is not dead...

It may just be hibernating for some people! So, we knew it was true that we could not get through the month of February without some type of snow storm. And yes, in Chicago, it did hit with a vengeance on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. In the city, I believe we got at least a foot of snow, if not more. And yes, I know, it is SUBSTANTIALLY less than what our friends on the East Coast have received...70 inches, but it was enough to make driving a pain in the bootie.

So yesterday, I had to teach an early class, knowing that my car is HORRIBLE and yes I do mean REAR WHEEL DRIVE HORRIBLE in the snow, I went out the night before to shovel and clean my car off, thinking this would help me in the AM. NOT! We got another 6-8 inches overnight, so I took another 20 minutes to shovel and clean off my car. I got settled into the vehicle and basically pulled forward and got my car stuck, I mean it was not going anywhere in the snow. SO, my downstairs neighbor was walking his dogs, and offered to push me. He was working so hard to me out. And then another man came out of his building, dressed for work and started to help as well. These poor men worked their butts off to get my STOOPID car out of the alley. It took two guys, three of us shoveling and backing down the alley to get my car out. WOW! I was amazed at how generous these men were in helping me. They were so determined, I was ready to give up...but the guys says NO, we will get you out. I did email and thank my downstairs neighbor, but I don't know who else helped me, so DUDE living two buildings over...THANK YOU!

PART DEUX...last night, I was going to have dinner with some friends in the burbs and the same EXACT thing happened. Tires are spinning, blah, blah...this man comes out of his condo basically hunched over because his back hurt so bad from shoveling his parking lot, but still offers to help me. While he is inside getting salt, another neighbor, a female, goes to get her shovel offering to help. My poor hunched over neighbor puts the salt under my tires and pushes me out. LORD HAVE MERCY! So once again, THANK YOU TO MY NEIGHBORS, I don't know your names, but bless you for helping me.

You know living in a city the size of Chicago, many times people like to remain anonymous, they go about their business, don't make personal connections and don't offer to help when needed. I was so pleased and felt so blessed to know that my neighbors were willing to help me out of a tough spot yesterday. And not just the guys, because I know you gentlemen sometimes still like to help the SINGLE damsel in distress. But the woman in the next building could have simply gone into her condo without offering to help.

In today's age of social networking, emailing, texting...on and on, as I have said in previous blog posts, we are creating humans that don't know how to connect with other each. It was such a nice departure yesterday to see people helping others out! So ladies and gentlemen seriously, pay it forward, help someone out, even if it is as small as holding the door open for someone or letting someone cut in line at the grocery store who has 2 items and you have 200 or as big as throwing out your back to push someone's car out! Seems pretty classy to me!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Gentlemen...Fashion and maintenance isn't just for the ladies!

Ok, this blog post is a request. Yes, I actually get requests for blog posts now, I feel so loved! Most of the time, I write to the ladies, but gentlemen, this one is for you. I was somewhat reminded last night about this subject when I saw back to back ads during the SuperBowl with men in only their underwear. Really? Is this something that we needed to see during the SuperBowl...and guess what, it wasn't Taye Diggs looking guys in their underwear either! And so I am reminded that if men had their way, they would just run around in their sweats or underwear every day, all day long.

So, guys, just so you know, here is what a woman goes through when she is getting ready for a date:

1. Go through entire closet, pick out at least 4-7 outfits.
2. Try all outfits on and figure out which one looks best.
3. Try on outfits with shoes.
4. Make sure bra and panties look OK with selected outfit.
5. Select the appropriate jewelry and handbag to go with selected outfit.
6. Shower...complete with hair wash, condition and shaving of legs.
7. Apply product to hair and decide how to wear hair.
8. Blow dry hair.
9. Flat iron hair.
10. Apply makeup.
11. Apply body lotion, deodorant and perfume.
12. Get dressed and check mirror.
13. Check bathroom mirror to ensure makeup looks good.
14. Re-check hair, maybe more hairspray or product.
15. Re-check outfit in full length mirror. Potentially make a shoe, handbag or jewelry change.
16. Re-check mirror one more time before out the door.

For some women, it may be a few less steps, for most, it is probably more. SO, gentlemen, here's are the steps that I think you take:

1. Watch ESPN for 30 minutes.
2. OOPS, only 10 minutes before I have to leave, better shower, eh I can watch the basketball bloopers and shower then.
3. OOPS, only 7 minutes before I have to leave...Shower and shave.
4. Pick up a pair of jeans off the floor and a shirt, hope they are 1/2 way clean.
5. Throw some product in the hair.
6. Apply deodorant and MAYBE cologne.
7. Get keys and cell phone, out the door.

SO hopefully, gentlemen, you are getting the picture. Now, I am not asking you to be the next top male fashion model. I know that makes you too METRO if you actually match your shoes to your belt. But when getting ready to take a lady out, consider that she is taking 60-90 minutes to get ready for your date AND a little extra effort on your part might go a LONG way. Gentlemen seriously, try to pick something to wear that isn't dirty or wrinkled, take the time to make sure that clothes match and are ironed. Make sure to shave and take a little time with the hair. And please don't wear gym shoes, save those for...THE GYM. If you need to know what pairs of shoes to have, please re-read my previous blog post about men's shoes.

Ladies, I hope that helps some of your guys out there!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!