Thursday, July 30, 2009

I mean really, are not all that!

So I totally forgot about this story...I can't believe it since the fiesty redhead and I joke about it all the time. So here is my message to men. LISTEN UP BOYS! Not every single unattached woman out there is dying to get married and have tons of babies. And if we show an interest in you, that doesn't mean we are measuring you for a tux.

Case in point, several months ago, I met a cute guy at a party. Not too tall, good fashion, great sense of humor and yes, was bald...for those of you that know me, you know I love the bald guys! Anyway, the evening progressed and there was a lot of dancing (and drinking, but no one was driving so it was safe). After the party, we all decided it would be a good idea to go to a bar (not sure I see the logic in that decision now). At the bar, cute guy...lets call him cheese guy, was proceeding to SHOW me how interested he was in me, (READ: hands all over me). I fought him off but had a good time, there was kissing and dancing. So cheese guy lives by me, we decided to share a cab home...he is going on and on about how he is going to make pancakes for me the next morning, assuming that I am spending the night at his place. UM, how about NO! So I get out at my place, hand him my card and say call me.

So, of course, I don't hear from him for like a week, which is FINE. So I get an EMAIL from him over a week later. It basically tells me that he really enjoyed meeting me but really isn't interested in a relationship right now (imagine me saying this in the most sarcastic voice EVER). REALLY? Was I giving you my ring size and suggesting locations for our wedding reception while you practically had your hands down my pants? How are you so BOLD to think I want a relationship with you, we hadn't even gone out on a date, I met you once at a party DUDE! I mean, you are cute, but you are NO Jason Statham, whom I would want to marry.

Gentlemen, seriously! Not every woman wants a relationship with you. Some intelligent, attractive, fun women just want to hang out, have drinks, go to concerts, dance and have fun. So please, please don't make that assumption. And yes, there are some women looking for a relationship, and that is totally cool as well, because HEY there are guys that are looking for that as well and I hope they find each other. And eventually, I would like to meet someone who would take me to dinner and the movies once in a while, but marriage, eh, I tried that once, not sure I am ready to walk down that aisle again. HEY, I am enjoying my singledom.

So my advice to you guys, if you met a cute girl and want to hang out...ask her out, if she drops hints about wanting a relationship after a few times out and that is not what you want...MAN UP and tell her, but don't make silly assumptions, it is insulting!

Ladies, I am off to my 20 year class reunion this week. Have a fantastic weekend.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, July 27, 2009


Ok, I have to talk about it, tattoos, tats, body art, ink...whatever you want to call it. Tattooing has become so mainstream society that you cannot go out these days without seeing multiples on men and women alike, young and old. Now, I have no problem with ink, in fact, I have two myself, which I LOVE. The first one I got when I got my divorce (must have been feeling rebellious) and my second one I got recently to celebrate my one year anniversary of my ANTI-corporate job. And yes, my mom has seen both of them, I love it when I get the disapproving MOM SIGH...

FUNNY story...while the redhead and I were at a tattoo place recently, some guy comes in wanting a tattoo on his ribcage (OUCH!). He came in with his girlfriend (who BTW already had a tattoo). He wanted some buddhist proverb and he laid on the table...the artist started and got through one letter, the guy stopped him, it was too painful. DUDE, not a good idea! Now you have ONE letter on your chest, I am guessing it looks kind of DORKY.

One of my girlfriends, we have been friends for YEARS and we will call her Beverly, works in cosmetics (and is the best at getting me free stuff, THANK YOU!) Recently, she was asked by a colleague to help with the makeup at her future daughter in law's wedding. Apparently, the bride was a fair skinned blonde, who had a very large almost all black tatoo on her upper back. Poor Beverly had about 20 minutes to try to cover this thing, because the bride had chosen to wear her hair up and had a backless dress. This type of makeup, of course, is not a quick application, one coat has to dry for 20 minutes. Needless to say, my poor friend was stressed to the HILT and because she was not given enough time to cover this huge tattoo, she felt bad that it probably didn't look very good.

ANYWHOO!! Here is my point, ladies, seriously, ink is forever! Unless you want to go through the painful process of removing it. SO, here is the deal, if you have a tattoo that is in a place where you have to have heavy makeup to hide it for your MIGHT want to reconsider the size and/or placement of said tattoo. Use this rule of thumb, if you are embarrassed of it or you don't want to show your grandmother, DON'T get it. Tattoos are not cheap and hey they kind of hurt. Also, ladies, have some class and pick a design that is tasteful and representative of you. I have seen many men and women with some weird tattoos, like grown men with Tweetie Bird?? And on a side note, be careful of whose name you put on your, Johnny Depp, Winona Forever! Had to make it Wino Forever when they broke up, OOPS.

Hey, ladies, it's your life and your body...just make sure you are really POSITIVE about the placement and design of your ink.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

And then some girls have their Aidan!

Well, once again, quoting that wonderful show...Sex in the City. Carrie had her Aidan, the one man that loved her completely (enough to come back a second evern after she cheated on him) and she couldn't marry him (because she was still stuck on Big). I will call him the one that got away for Carrie. OK, ladies, who has "the one that got away"? All the single ladies, put your hands up!

If you asked my mom and sister, they would tell you that the one that got away for me was my college BF. He is a GREAT guy and I still think very fondly of him, but I knew he was not the right guy for me in the long run. And we broke up about 16 years ago and my mom and sister still talk about him. LADIES, get over it. There is a lesson for you...only YOU can know the right person for you, if I had listened to my mom and my sister (you KNOW I love you ladies...but) I would be married to the wrong guy, with kids, living in the town I grew up in Nebraska, not thinking I would be too happy.

But ALAS! He is not the "one that got away". My Aidan is not someone that I actually ever dated, but was a very good friend in high school. We were friends for three years and he wanted to date me, but I wasn't interested (still not sure why). Great guy and we always had a lot of fun together, and hey, let's face it, he still wanted to date me even with the HIGH SCHOOL MALL HAIR I had. So then, of course, he started dating someone our senior year and THEN I wanted to date him (typical CHICK thing to do). But he said no and continued to date Miss Thing. Crazy thing is that we all went to the same college, he was in the fraternity down the street and Miss Thing was in the RIVAL sorority across the street. Well, then ended up getting married and subsequently divorced (could have told him that was going to happen, but ANYWAY).

Well, I am coming up on my TWENTY YEAR high school reunion, which has had me reminscing about old times and my Aidan. I am looking forward to seeing him again. He is a doctor BTW. Now, don't go getting any ideas, ladies, he is remarried.

So ladies, here is my advice to you, if you have a good guy friend and there is some chemistry there, you might want to consider if you should explore a relationship. I know based on my experience, my guy friends know that I am an OCD crazed, neurotic woman and they still love me.

And let's face it, a successful relationship starts with friendship, yep the physical attraction is FUN, but I mean really, how many relationships have lasted for the long haul based on the physical part only (it usually dies out). Now, I have a VERY good guy friend, whom I adore, and we have tried to date and it simply does not work. But we realized it and still remain friends. This is not easy to do, so if you go down this road, you better be ready to either not be friends or have the type of friendship that can handle some tough times.

So there you have it...eharmony, facebook,, chemistry, bars, friends, blind is exhausting! In the end your best guy friend might turn out to be your best boyfriend!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Men are EASY!

OK, so I went to see The Ugly Truth yesterday. And I must say that all women should see it because it is just as truthful about the actions of men and women as the bible....He's Just Not That Into You. Since many of you probably haven't seen it yet, I won't reveal too much, but Gerard Butler (who is yummy BTW) tells Katherine Heigl the basics of what men want...which is pretty much sex and hot women. And yes, he admits that there guys that act that that is not all they want it, but don't be fooled, in the end, they are all pretty much the same.

And let's face it ladies, men are easy! And if all you are looking for is a "good time", just act like you don't want them, don't need them and they will come running, plus dress a bit sassy (translation sexy, but not slutty, tasteful sleeveless top, skirt and heels) and you are golden. But caution, ladies, if you are looking for a boyfriend, or relationship, this might not be the best direction to take.

So back to the movie, Gerard gives her advice on how to get the hottie doctor who lives next door. So she (like so many women do) changes herself so that he will like her and it works! Why, because, stupid men are easy (yes, I said stupid). Stupid guys wants women that are compliant, don't criticize, dress sexy all the time, are Suzy sunshine all the time, like sports, etc (OK, well in a future blog post, we will talk about the sports issue).

Ladies, how many times have you acted like someone different to impress the hot guy at the bar, gym, church, etc? Afraid to be yourself, because he might not like the real you? And yes, at the beginning, it is fun to hang out with this hot conquest, but after a while, isn't it exhausting not being you? And then you figure out that the hot man is actually stupid OR not someone that you actually want to spend time with?

Wouldn't you rather be with someone wants to be with you when you are really YOU? Thinks you are hot in your sweats and tank top and still wants to have sex with you, because yep, these guys want the same thing as well? If that is the case, ladies, seriously, use the brain that you were given, and look a bit deeper than the hot guy at the bar (and I am not saying that the hot guy at the bar might not be the right guy, but the law of averages says...), yep, he is a blast, but you may have to look outside the box (or the guys that you usually date) to find someone who likes you for the crazy, neurotic, OCD person that you are...well, I may be describing myself, but you get the point. Stay tuned tomorrow for a way to find that different guy!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Do Something...why you standing on the wall?

Ok, god only knows why I am quoting a Britney Spears song in my title today...well, it is applicable. So if you have read my profile, you know that I am proud to say that I am a Gamma Phi Beta (yes, Pi chapter at the University of Nebraska, go Huskers). And yes, I know that sororities get a bad rap in the movies and media. And many believe that there is no longer a place in society these days for a women's organization like dear ol' Gamma Phi (which BTW was founded in 1874 by four women at Syracuse University, who were four of the only NINETEEN women admitted to the university that year)...but between my business and my free time, my sorority is the organization that I choose to give my time back to. And SOO many of my friends ask me aren't in college anymore, give it up!

Well, listen ladies, one of my life's passions is to make women better women and that is EXACTLY what Gamma Phi Beta does (shockingly, so does Jazzercise). It was a major part in scuplting the person that I am today, so I give back a lot of my time (since I don't have a lot of money to give right now) to something that is important to me. I want to help college women become better women through community service, leadership, scholarship and sisterhood. And that is simply how I choose to give back and I never apologize for it.

NOW, my message to you ladies today is simple...find something that you are pasionate about....I don't care what it is, maybe it is your church, kids, cats and dogs, disabled people, homeless people, women with breast cancer, veterans, etc. Take some of that time that you use to do useless activities (albeit it fun) like, facebook, watching TV, reading, getting pedicures, (you know all the crazy stuff we do as women) and give it to an organization or cause. And I know many of us are in a time famine, but I am sure that a local organization or cause would love to have your help for an hour a week or a few hours a month. If you have kids, pick something that you can do WITH your kids, a great way to spend time with them!

Volunteering our time and/or our money is wonderful, rewarding way to pay it forward for the good fortune that you have had in your life. And remember, organizations would love to have financial donations, but they need just as much time donations. AND another don't have to give back to those that are less fortunate than you, just take my advice and give back to an organization or cause that means something to you, I will guess that eventually your work will get back to those that need it.

So, here's me on my soapbox! Imagine if you will, if every single person in the US volunteered one hour per week to an organization that meant something to them, the world would be a better place, I can GUARANTEE it!

So ladies, be classy and give back! And on a side note, finding a guy that does some volunteer work is even classier!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, July 20, 2009

TMT...Too Much Technology can lead to TMI or too little

Facebook, Twitter, Email, Texting...etc, etc. Technology has made it easier and easier to stay connected with our friends and family. Yes, I LOVE facebook (FB) and I just started twitter for the Jazzercise business. But whatever happened to picking up the phone! I KNOW, I KNOW, I hate talking on the phone just as much as you do, but ladies, if the only time you ever communicate with a guy (or a friend for that matter) is over TEXT message, something is not right. Technology can lead you down two different paths these days...Too Little Information or WAY Too Much Information.

Wireless phones seem to be the crux of the problem, and don't get me wrong, I am addicted to my Pink Blackberry Pearl and I am not suggesting that we all burn our phones like the progressive women burned their bras in the 60s, but I am just saying, guys get off WAY too easy by being able to TEXT us or FB us. Are we supposed to swoon over a smiley face icon or an XOXO on a TEXT message? And hey, I get it, maybe your guy is super busy at work (the biggest BS excuse EVER, but ANYWAY) and maybe he wants to send a quick TEXT to saying he thinking about you...that's cool. But if he only ever asks you out through a TEXT....then I am going to have to quote the bible again...He's Just Not That Into You. And honestly, if the guy can't talk on the phone to you, what kind of date is he going to be? I am guessing a DUD!

And then you have that too much information problem. BEWARE of the pocket dial!!! Recently, I heard a story about a guy who's phone pocket dialed a girl (and ex-girlfriend, with whom he was still friends and still trying to hook up with). The ex-GF got two messages at 2 AM on a Friday where the guy was ordering pizza with a girl who he had clearly just met and they were clearly at her apartment/condo, and then a follow up message of the guy having sex with the new girl. GUYS (and GIRLS), you might want to be careful about where you have your phone. The guy contacted the girl on Monday and had no idea...PLUS he tried to play off that he had missed her over the weekend. UM....LIAR, LIAR, pants on FIRE.

OH, and also, under the TMI label, ladies, please be careful about what you post on facebook, there are a lot of creepy people out there. Another note, I can't imagine any one person's life being so exciting that we all need to be updated every 2-3 hours, so don't bore everyone. And, please don't post anything that you wouldn't say to your mom or grandmother, BE a LADY and have some class...that goes for pictures TOO!

The bottom line is communication in person and/or over the phone is becoming a lost art. Ladies, seriously, don't let it die, have some class and call your friends (and your parents for that matter) every once in a while. And to be really DEEP and philosophical on Monday night...we are on the planet earth to appreciate, respect, communicate and love one another. So don't exist strictly in cyberspace!

And if a guy can only exist in cyberspace with you, he probably sucks in real life, so kick him to the curb and have fun with your girlfriends, guy friends or family in person!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Every Girl Has Her Mr. Big

AND NO, not that type of Mr. Big for those of you with your mind in the gutter. I am, of course, referring to one of the greatest shows EVER...Sex in the City. Carrie had her Mr. Big and in one grand gesture of love in the greatest city in the world, Paris, they end up together. And then in the movie, he, of course, buys her the greatest closet in the world. Well, let's face it, life is not a TV show and usually you don't live happily ever after with your Mr. Big.

I am no exception to the rule, I have my Mr. Big and our history started all the way back in 2000. I was recently divorced (yep, believe or not, I had the starter marriage) and met Mr. Morgan (as we will call him). Mr. Morgan and I worked together. He ended up meeting and marrying his FIRST wife in the first 6 months that we worked together. Prior to his FIRST wedding, he plead his undying love for me and then preceeded to get married. Fast forward one year, lost my job and moved on. He, in the meantime, had a child and got a divorce.

Five years later, he contacts me and wants me to come to work for the company where he worked. K, really didn't think I should, but they made me a salary offer I couldn't refuse (that is when the obsession with Manolo's started BTW). And we start right back up "dating", I KNOW it was not the smartest thing in the world to "date" someone with whom you work. However it never really got started...for some reason, every time we made plans, he cancelled because his daughter needed this or his sister had a crisis or his friend had a hang nail, etc, etc. And I allowed this to go on for....wait for least 18 months. I kept telling myself he really loved me, it just wasn't the right time. I did date other people in the meantime (and then of course, he read my emails and made snide comments about it).

And then the BEST story of ALL! Everyone at the company had to go a company BBQ. I was standing there chatting with others and I heard someone that Mr. Morgan's fiance? COMO SAY WHAT...the man that just made out with me in his office in the past month, is engaged? I was so angry, I honestly couldn't believe it. How could someone that supposedly loved me be engaged to someone else? I laid in my bed that night and my heart was racing, I have never been so FRICKING MAD in my whole life.

Perhaps, I should have re-read He's Just Not That Into You, right? I kept asking myself (as did all of my friends and family), why do you continue to let this man do this to you? You are an attractive, intelligent deserve better. Why do you continue to shed tears over this man, who clearly doesn't give a shit about you? Keep saying this to yourself, if he doesn't keep plans with you, he doesn't want to be with you. AND OF COURSE, if he marries someone else, he does not love you!

Ladies, take it from me, don't get caught up in the Sex in the City fairytale. You are wonderful, intelligent women, wait for the guy that knows you are absolutely fabulous and wants to be with you! Take this advice from the great song...Settlin by Sugarland, I ain't settling for just getting by, I've had enough so-so for the rest of my life. Tired of shooting too low so raise the bar high, I ain't settlin for anything less than everything! Great advice.

Cheers and CIAO until next time!

Friday, July 17, 2009

You Can't Buy Class

AH, one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite people, one of my BFs, Smiles (all names on this website have been changed to protect the GUILTY). SO I promised you an update from the concert last night and here I am sitting in the chair at the salon, getting cut and colored (or as one of my friends calls it clipped and dipped). The Billy Joel/Elton John concert was amazing and I had a great time with my girls. Although, we did get SHUSHED by a woman in front of us, which I found amusing as everyone in the stadium was making noise, but we got shushed. Listen lady, this is a concert at Wrigley Field, not the opera or the symphony, get over yourself.

Anyway, here it is, LADIES, please, please dress for your age and body type. Case in point, one woman at the concert, who was attractive, fit, and about 55ish, was wearing a VERY short skirt (we were very glad that we did not get her WHO-WHO flashed at us) and a tight tank top. Now, I understand that I am not the audience for whom she was dressing, but ladies, have some class. This woman would have looked just as attractive in a skirt that hit at her knees and nice fitted V-neck t-shirt or tank.

Body type! Ok, unless you are Gwyneth Paltrow (LOVE her fashion sense) or Heidi Klum, both of whom could wear just about anything and look fabulous, there are certain fashion styles that just don't work with your body type. FOR EXAMPLE, I am going to break it down for you, I have a a big OL' bootie (thanks, Dad, ain't genetics a bitch). And skinny jeans are a very hot fashion style right now, which I like. But by ESSENCE of the name...SKINNY, one would make the logical assumption that you should be SKINNY to wear them. And since I am not skinny, I do not wear them, because, well I wouldn't look good. However, a very nice pair of Joe's boot cut jeans do look good on me.

If you have a muffin top (mine is ALMOST gone, thanks Jazzercise), don't wear a tight fitted halter top that will extenuate it. A looser, longer halter top would look just as attractive and may show off your fabulous lats in your back. Oh yeah and wear the appropriate bra for the halter top, no party hats please.

The bottom line is that you don't have to be a runway model to look fabulous, I see normal sized women (which BTW is a size 14) look fabulous everyday. Ladies, I know that you are all beautiful, intelligent women, so as you get ready to go out this weekend, check that mirror (I am so obsessive about this), be a LADY, have some class and make sure you are body and age appropriate.

Have a great weekend. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Only ONE Silver Bullet

SIGH! Being a Jazzercise instructor for the last 11 years, I have seen many diets and exercise fads come and go...think The Atkins Diet and Tae Bo. It seems as Americans, we are all are looking for the silver bullet to lose weight and get healthy. No one wants to sweat to exercise, everyone wants to take a pill VOILA...they look like Jennifer Aniston on the cover of In Style magazine. What we all forget is that it is Jennifer Aniston's JOB too look beautiful. She has a trainer and a full staff that help her look good everyday. Don't get me wrong...I HEART Jennifer, she is beautiful and heck while I prefer to date men, I might make an exception for her.

As a fitness professional, I find it very frustrating to witness the media and movie stars convince the general public that the latest diet is going to help them get fit. Programs like Weight Watchers are great ways to help women (and men) ensure they are eating a healthy diet and may help some lose SOME weight. But in all the years I have been doing Jazzercise (over 16), I have found ONE silver bullet that will help everyone lose weight and get healthy. EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE. That's it.

And when you exercise more, ladies, you need to break a sweat!! Yoga and Pilates are great programs (and I might add are NOT fads, as they have been around for AGES). However, they should be considered a compliment to your cardio workouts, whatever they are, Jazzercise, biking, swimming, etc. I would recommend both pilates and yoga, as everyone could use more stretching and core work.

In my Jazzercise classes, I get these type of questions all the do I make my stomach smaller? how do I get rid of my back fat? The only answer is cardio and strength training. You can do 1000 sit ups a day but without cardio exercise, you are not going to reduce the fat in the abdominal area enough to allow everyone to see the muscles underneath.

BTW, I know MANY students that have successfully lost weight combining Jazzercise and Weight Watchers. One of my students lost 130 pounds and she looks amazing...way to go SUE!

So, as I step off my soap box today, keep this in mind, if you are ready to get fit and lose weight, choose a program that includes cardio, strength training and stretching....HMMM, I wonder, where you can get it?

Jazzercise, Cardio, Strength, Stretch! And plus you get to dance in class. I wonder wonder why I teach Jazzercise...could it be that after 16 years, I still get an amazing workout every time? I would love to see you in my class soon.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Hi everyone. WOW! Can't believe I am doing this, but here it goes....Having been supporting myself off of my Jazzercise business for the last 18 months, I have discovered I have a lot to say about a lot of things, so figured this is the best place for it.

I am a single gal and have tons of dating stay tuned, I will be sure to give you the updates from my various outings each weekend. Thanks to my one girlfriends, the fiesty redhead (as we will call her), for making sure my sorry butt go out more often. So this past weekend we were at the Largest Block Party in the World, Old St. Pats Block Party. Got a chance to hear Ben Folds, who was great BTW. But you know it was a really good people watching and I just have this to say...

LADIES! Underwear, yes, have some. It is summertime and we are all in our cute sundresses, but seriously, the dresses look less cute with visible thong underwear or WORSE, no underwear. And also, the appropriate bra would be really nice as well. OK, I am done for now.

We are headed to the Billy Joel/Elton John concert tomorrow night AND Sheffield Garden Walk this weekend, I am sure, there will be more information.

Cheers and CIAO!