Monday, August 24, 2009

This Kiss, This Kiss

Great song by a beautiful woman...Faith Hill. Ok, let's talk about kissing, baby! The good and the bad. Guys seriously, ask any female you know the following questions:
1. Who was your best FIRST kiss?
(JZZRGRL answer: CTB, at my front door in February 2005)
2. Who was your WORST kiss?
(JZZRGRL answer: In 2001, the fireman in the front seat of his truck and there was a lot of teeth in it)
3. Who would want to kiss forever or for hours?
(JZZRGRL answer: SIGH...don't like to talk about that one, I'll just say Dallas and say nothing more)

I'll bet, that these questions will be answered quickly, with specific names, dates, locations and possibly what she was wearing...every single time. SO, take this hint, gentlemen...ladies remember kissing almost more than they remember the other stuff that many times goes with kissing, so you might want to pay attention.

Remember the episode, Brad the Bad Kisser on Sex in the City, where Charlotte had a date with the guy that was a bad kisser. And she tried to train him on how to be a good kisser, but he just reverted back to his old ways? Then she yelled at him and said you are a BAD KISSER! And the guy responds with this "What? It's my thing." Ladies and gentlemen! If your date tells you that you need work on your kissing, please take their advice. Let the person help you...unless he/she, of course, is a bad kisser as well. Because here is the thing, if a lady likes to kiss you, gentlemen, it might just lead to other things that you are looking for...

Being the old softie and sometimes romantic (I know I don't tell anyone!), kissing is VERY important to most females and is much more intimate than sex (trust me, I had an EX that didn't like to kiss me, but he sure wanted to do other things). So ladies seriously (and gentlemen), you might want to brush up on your skills..practice, practice, practice...on melons if needed or I don't know make out with your pillow like you did at your junior high slumber parties. :) Because a great kiss leaves a much bigger impression that great sex!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

If you are going to lie, at least be good at it.

A quote today from one of my girlfriends. Of course, it is in reference to a guy. She had a date scheduled with a guy who did not call or TXT and stood her up. He contacted her later in the day and said he was really sorry, his phone was broken and he wouldn't have a new one for another week, but he still really wanted to get together. Then miraculously today his mobile phone appeared available on mobile IM....HUM, I wonder how that phone got fixed SO QUICKLY?? HEY MORON, if you are to pretend that your phone is broken, don't log into IM.

If you remember my blog post about my Mr. Big. He was the KING of LIES about why we couldn't get together, can't tell you how many times he made plans with me and then backed out at the last minute with every single possible, thinkable lie...his phone was broken at least once or twice, his mom needed something, his sister was having a crisis, his kid was sick..blah, blah, blah. I mean, I can't imagine how many acts of god happened for us not to be able to get together. I have to give him credit for coming up with a different lie every time, but please!

So here's the thing gentlemen seriously, how hard is it to tell the truth (well, I know men, and actually it is kind of hard for them, but really?) My phone is broken...if you don't want to go out with us, don't make the plans, period. Really, we can handle it, I mean, we weren't ordering wedding invitations or anything based on a date. And honestly having been in the dating world for way too long (and many of us have), we get it, if you don't want to go out with us, that is cool, don't take it as a character flaw. Just isn't right!

And ladies seriously, same thing to you. If you aren't interested in a guy, don't lie to him or keep going out with him for that matter. A few years ago, when I was on eHarmony, I went out with a guy like 3-4 times and I knew that I wasn't feeling it, but I really wanted to. I mean, on paper, he was really good for me, but the chemistry was NIL. He finally got the hint when I told him I don't golf and stopped calling (he wanted to golf in FEBRUARY....HUH? well the driving range, whatev). Hey, the dating world sucks and it is hard and frustrating, so why make it worse by lying to each other? Don't say, you are going to call, if you have no intention of calling. Don't make a date, if you have no intention of keeping it. Remember, the Friends episode where Chandler kept asking Rachel's boss out even though he didn't like her....Great show.

Anyway, I SUCK at lying so I try to never do it, cuz I always get caught, just ask my mom. Good advice for both men and women, a little honesty and truth is very refreshing!

Beautiful ladies, have a good week. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Life is short, but marriage is long...

So drink up and it will go a heck of a lot of my favorite quotes from Shirley MacLaine in the movie Rumor Has It. So I think it is time to talk about marrige, ladies. The good, the bad and the ugly! So in the good parents, have been married for almost 39 years. My sister and brother in law have been married 11+ years. My best friend from high school has been married for 10+ years. NONE of these couples will tell you it is easy, it takes a lot of hard work, yelling, crying, smiling and talking, but they made it.

And, I also know of examples where women and men have found a great match in a second marriage...I am pretty much surrounded my good marriages. So if you think I am completely jaded about marriage, you are wrong. But then in the bad category, well, not so bad, there is me! Married for 3 years and have been divorced for almost 9 years. Now, it was not a bad marriage, just not the right guy. I drank the Koolaid, I bought into the hype and got married because I thought I was supposed to get married, that's what you DO, right? Wrong!!!! Allow me to be a romantic for just a moment, yes, I do have savor it, this doesn't happen often. Ladies seriously, you should be marrying someone because you cannot imagine spending the rest of your life without this person, despite his flaws and yours. You should be prepared to know that after the honeymoon is over, you are going to go through good times and bad, and you should KNOW deep down that this man is for you.

Let me give you one quick example of why I should have known that my ex-husband wasn't for 1996 we got engaged, very romantic, proposed at the Palmer House Hilton overlooking the Christmas Tree, on one knee, the whole thing! Two weeks later, my dear grandfather passed away (about 2-3 days before Christmas). So we had to change flights plans for the holidays as the funeral was to be the day after Christmas. My WONDERFUL fiance DID NOT go to the funeral or come to Christmas with me. WHY you ask? Well, he had a wedding in which he was an usher (not even a groomsman) on December 30th and he was afraid that he couldn't get his flight plans changed, so he went to the wedding instead...without me. Now, how I thought this was acceptable behavior back then, I will never know...but you get my point. If a guy can't even go to your grandfather's funeral, probably not going to be a good guy when the going gets tough!

OK, for the ugly...the real reason I wanted to talk about this subject is for those women who have been waiting for 2+ years for their boyfriend to marry them. OH ladies! I can tell you countless stories of women who live with their boyfriends or actually have a ring, have been engaged for multiple years with no date set or have had their BF tell them that they don't want to get married and the woman just sits and waits. Ladies seriously, if he has been with you (living with you) for multiple years and still isn't marrying you...he isn't going to. And honestly, I hate to see you wait around with the wrong guy while the right guy who DOES want to marry you is out there! And yes, I know there are guys that do end up getting married after 7-10 years, but how many times do those relationships end up in divorce?

If your goal is to get married and have a family, ladies, you should really be looking for someone who has that same goal. Don't try to change someone who is not looking for that. AND if you meet Mr. Wonderful and he doesn't want children and you really do, Mr. Wonderful might be a better match for someone else.

Ladies seriously, no matter what your goal is in your relationship, married, not married, kids, no kids, city, suburbs, make sure your goals match with the guy that you think you want a long term relationship with. You are all WAY TOO fabulous to sit and wait for the wrong guy. And I know that if you are living with someone, it is hard to make that decision, trust me, I was there and made the wrong one!

Ok, off my soapbox for today! Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Change what you want or change what you do!

My district manager would be so proud that I am quoting her in my blog. Time for me to get on my little philosophical soap box for a moment and talk about careers, jobs and life! With the craziness of the economy, it is a good time for all of us to reflect on life. Some of you might be out of a job and looking for something new. Some of you might might have shorties that are going to school now and you are looking for something new to do during the day. Whatever your stage in life, it is always good to do a check to make sure you are doing what you want to do. Another great quote from an AMAZING movie...Revolutionary Road, it takes a lot of backbone to live the life you want.

And I know, I am single and it is easy for me to say that since I don't have to support a family. But let me tell you a story...long, long ago when I was married, I started teaching Jazzercise in 1998. And it was a side job for me, a way to stay fit and earn extra money because I was teaching for another owner. I had my biggest F*%# YOU fight with my now ex-husband over future careers. You see, at that time, I was in school getting my MBA in Marketing and I told him that I wanted to open my own Jazzercise Fitness Center someday. It really didn't matter to me if it was before or after we had a family. He couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to be the VP of Marketing for a company, I mean, why would someone want to get their MBA if they didn't want to be a VP??? OH and he also told me I was the most selfish person in the whole world, but that is beside the point. Well, of course, we know the answer to that question, (he didn't and it is ONE of the many reasons why we aren't married anymore) my MBA taught me how to run a business. This was in 1999.

When I got a divorce, I decided I wasn't going let anyone influence my future again, so I finished my MBA and became an owner of a small Jazzercise franchise in the city of Chicago. But my goal was always to be able to support myself off the Jazzercise business and not have a corporate job. So I continued to work, save some money, and look for a way to do it. In 2006, the opportunity finally came, I had a chance to purchase the largest franchise in Illinois, which I did. And I subsequently grew the business and opened not one, but two Jazzercise Fitness Centers and quit my corporate job in 2007.

Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that it is so easy and that everything is coming up roses, because that is not true. The economy crashed about the time that I opened the second center and it is HARD financially (especially when you live in downtown Chicago, condo payments don't pay themselves and the cat is certainly not contributing to the family income). BUT I would rather be doing what I love..teaching Jazzercise for a living and providing an amazing program for women to meet their health goals, than making a lot of money, working a job that I don't like. I truly believe that I am doing what I am supposed to do! Plus I get to work with the most fabulous women, my associates, class managers and babysitters.

So here it is, ladies seriously, please make sure that your job is something that you LOVE doing. You spend more time doing that than anything else in your life, including spending time with family and friends. If you don't love what you do, CHANGE IT (change what you want, change what you do). And that change might not be easy, and it might take time and probably money, but isn't it so much better when you realize one of your life's dreams doing what you love? Make sure you have a family that supports it, but trust me, they will be happier if you are happier.

So here's to life and all the joy it brings (a Jazzercise song, BTW). Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Does this make me look fat?

EEEK! Besides the question "do you want to meet my parents?", this is one of the scariest questions ever uttered from a woman's mouth to a man's ear. Obviously if the man has any sense, the answer would be, "OF COURSE NOT dear, you look fabulous!". However, based on my previous blog post, "you can't buy class" you know that sometimes, the outfit does IN FACT make someone look fat because they are not dressing for their body type.

So here is the better answer to the question, ladies seriously, DON'T ASK IT! Being a fitness professional and strong independent woman, I am SO saddened regularly by the utter lack of positive body image in females today. And YES, I blame the media and Hollywood for that one. Think back in the time of Mae West, Ava Gardner and Marilyn Monroe, these women were BOMBSHELLS and men had their posters up in their lockers. And guess what, these women were sizes 8-12! They were beautiful, normal sized women. And then what the heck happened? Plastic surgery, I guess...but now Hollywood considers a size 10 a PLUS sized model, and only women sizes ZERO to 2 are "considered" beautiful.

Once again, I will say this, these women are PAID to be a size two and they have an army of stylists, personal trainers and nutrionists to make them look good. Heck, I could be a size 2 if I had an army like that, but then again, I wouldn't look healthy at a size 2, becauase it doesn't fit my body type. Trust me, I was that size at my wedding and I look back at pictures of myself and really, I look unhealthy. Me personally? I think women like Queen Latifah, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez and Angela Bassett are more beautiful...I mean, really, a size ZERO...that isn't even a size!

So here it is ladies, if you are a size that you don't like or want to lose/gain weight, please, please don't boo-whoo about it all the time. It is annyoing and upsetting to all those around you. I hate it when women say these pants make me look fat, I am too fat, blah, blah (usually if someone says that to me, I take a page from my sister's book and ask said person to say three positive things about themselves). Genetics are bitch and sometimes you can't help some of the body parts that you have and the sooner you accept some of that the better. If there are parts of your body that you want to change and they can be changed, instead of complaining about it, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...get your bootie to Jazzercise, for crying out loud.

Ladies seriously, a confident self assure woman with a little extra body fat is WAY sexier than a skinny woman who complains about how fat she is. Have some class, if you don't like your body, change it, embrace your faults and flaunt them...just make sure to wear a bra and underwear ;)

Have a fantastic weekend...if you are in Chicago, enjoy the weather, I am headed to the pool with the redhead. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

Great quote from none other than Homer Simpson. And AH, it is so true. Being involved with Gamma Phi Beta at this time of year reminds of thousands of college women going back to campus. And what do those fond memories of college bring? Memories of great friends, great times and great parties, right? Back in those days great parties sometimes involved alcohol, but usually just involved great times. These days those great parties always involve alcohol and honestly, it is usually a large amount of alcohol. To the point that it is frightening how much alcohol college women (and all women for that matter) consume these days.

While my BF was here, she told me a story about going to a bar for a bachelorette party in the lovely state of Texas. At said bar, women were 1/2 naked, dirty dancing and kissing on each other. Smiles comment was, "is this how it is now?" Sadly, it is true. Binge drinking and girls gone wild is the norm. Besides ignorance, being out of control drunk is the epitome of classlessness.

Last weekend, while a group of us were out at a lounge, our chairs were close to the window and we witnessed a young woman in a cab, who had to have her cab driver pull over while she opened the door and threw up. It was about 10 PM at night. NOW, hats off to her for getting in a cab to go home (presumably). But the fact that she was so drunk and had to throw up is not attractive.

I have witnessed countless examples like these where women are out of control due to too much alcohol. And hey, I understand, the majority of my socializing with my friends is surrounding alcohol, hanging at a bar, wine tasting, etc, but VERY rarely do I ever find myself out of control (taking the wine tasting event in March out of the equation, I was IN THE BAG (ITB) and am not proud of it).

Ladies seriously, being ITB and out of control is NOT being a lady or being classy. Plus being this out of control can lead to risky relationships, think going home with the WRONG guy. And while being half naked (or fully naked) and kissing on your girlfriend makes guys go wild, trust me, this is not the type of attention that you want. These guys will take advantage of the situation and they are NOT going to call the next day. AND, what if, pictures of your actions end of on FB and a future employer or family member saw them. Pictures exist in cyberspace FOREVER!

So ladies, go out, have fun, meet guys, laugh, dance, drink, be merry, but keep it in control! Pace yourself, Ice Cube says life ain't a track meet, it's a marathon. It is no fun to go out and then have to come home in an hour or two because you are too drunk. And for crying out loud, don't drive if you have had too much.

Have a fun and safe weekend. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Up and Out, ladies...think up and out!

Ok, I touched on this subject in my first blog post, my introduction, but after have been out Thursday, Friday and Saturday this past weekend, I very feel compelled to re-visit the subject. Special thanks to my BF for visiting me this past weekend, it was awesome...but we also remembered that no one thinks the Blue Line Car is a good idea after dark. was a HOT weekend in Chicago, and much to the single gentlemen's pleasure (and probably married ones too), that also brings out the halter tops, tank tops and strappy dresses. So here it is, ladies, seriously, wear a bra and to the same point, wear the right bra!

I cannot tell you how many women I saw wearing cute dresses with no bra. Gravity is a funny thing and guess what it flattens out your chest. Your chest sagging down in front doesn't make your dress any cuter. Plus, no matter what the guy next to you says, party hats are NOT attractive. Here is a rule of thumb, if you buy an outfit for which you cannot find the appropriate bra, don't wear it, take it back. Make the me, it works. Now, I am not the most endowed woman in the world, about a 34-36 B. However, I have invested in some fabulous bras (Victoria has a GREAT's called a push up bra). I have people make comments regularly about my chest size and if I have had surgery (1/2 joking). H**L to the NO, I am not going under the knife when a nice push up bra does the trick.

Oprah has addressed this subject on her show, countless women out there are wearing the wrong sized bra. If you have never been measured for a bra or haven't in the last 10 years, PLEASE ladies, DO IT. Take your girlfriends and go to Nordstroms (they have a great lingerie department), make the time investment. I think you will find that the right sized bra will make you look thinner! Couple of rules of thumb..if you have the dreaded back fat, your bra is actually probably too BIG...go down a band size and wear your bra lower on your back. If your straps are falling down, your bra is riding up, go down a band size.

Also, wear the right bra, a backless dress doesn't look good with a bra strap in the middle of it. Clear straps, fashion tape, racer back style, plunge style bras and convertibles are great for those cute halter tops and tank tops. And even if your tank top has a built shelf bra, wear a bra.

On a side note, if you are one of those women who was blessed (or maybe cursed) with a big chest, please don't wear a push up bra (unless you want to rest your chin on them), a regular one will do the trick for you. I have several girlfriends that are Double D's and one recently said, I don't even understand why they make push up bras in Double D!

So as we wind down the summer and continue to wear our cute summer tops and dresses, ladies, seriously, please remember, up and out is always better than flat and saggy. I will leave you with this quote from my good friend, who is a big teddy bear, but always boils it down to the lowest common denominator...It is a thin line between classy and trashy, and a heck of a woman can walk it. Keep it classy ladies.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Whoever said ignorance is bliss...was UMMM wrong!

Albert Einstein once said, two things are infinte, the universe and human stupidity and I am not sure about the universe. Great quote! So ladies, in many of my previous posts, I have talked about things that lack class, not dressing for your body type, or only communicating via TXT message, but there is one thing that takes the GRAND PRIZE for classlessness....drum roll, please! IGNORANCE. And I talking about the stupid things people say to others that show their utter lack of class. Here are a few examples that have been said....

Referencing a birth/bio parent as a child's REAL parent. I'm sorry, but biology does not necessarily make a parent a REAL parent. I have an absolutely beautiful adopted niece and nephew and let me tell you and many dear friends that have adopted children, TRUST ME, these people are these children's REAL parents.

Telling a black man that he is the whitest black man you have ever met or telling a black person that they speak well. Speak well for what? A human being? My very good friend is Haitian, yes, ladies and gentlemen, that means he is black. And people have said this to him. Guess what...he has no aspirations to be WHITE.

Asking someone, what are you? UMMM, I am a human being. I have another friend who is Portugese and people have asked her that. REALLY, if you really need to know, can you ask what is her nationality? But honestly, what possible difference can it make?

Assuming that someone who is from Poland or Mexico doesn't speak English. And then, if the person does have an accent or has a bit of trouble understanding English, to repeat your sentence VERY LOUDLY as if this is going to help!

Saying a stay at home MOM doesn't work. UMMM, she is the lowest paid person in America with the most rewarding job, kind of like teachers.

I could go on and on...assuming does what? Makes an A** out of ME and YOU. Stereotyping cultures and religions does the same thing. Ladies AND gentlemen seriously, think before you speak! Would you like someone to say any of these things to you? HOW HORRIBLE! I have friends of all kinds of cultures and religions, black, white, Japanese, Portugese, Italian, Jewish, etc and I cherish these relationships because it helps me learn, be a better person and most of ALL, be classy!

Ladies seriously, have some class, be a lady, treat everyone with respect and speak to them the way you would like to be spoken to. Don't say STOOPID S**T! And guess what if everyone followed this bit of advice the world would be a better place.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Friends that happen to be men!

So one of my previous boyfriends told me I needed to make my blog more positive about men. Not sure that writing positive things about guys is AS fun, but here is goes, we will try it once! So I have been on the online dating sites, yes, and and both of them didn't really work for me. I did date someone from for a bit and eharmony just sucked. I never had a decent date from that one, but anyway. One of the first questions that I asked any potential date is if he has a problem with the fact that two of my best friends are guys and I have about 5-6 GOOD guy friends. In fact, in high school, one of my best friends was a guy as well. Guess I am just one of those girls that likes being friends with men. And, keep in mind, the majority of them have girlfriends or wives.

Here is the deal...if a guy has a problem with the fact that I have a lot of guy friends, in my book (or blog), then he is kicked to the curb. Usually this means that he has some insecurity issues and who wants to deal with that crap. Let me share two good guy friend stories with you. I have a good friend, who just moved to the freakin suburbs, but that is another blog subject. We will call him Jay...he and I have been friends since 1994! And every single GF that he had previously HATED me because they always assumed that something was going on with us (we NEVER dated, always friends). And even his GF that he had WHILE I was married didn't like me. ANYWHOO, Jay met this FAB woman through and when I met her I knew she was the ONE because she had so much confidence and was fine with the fact that Jay had a lot of female friends. They are married now and I adore BOTH of them, in fact, I tell Jay all the time that I like his wife better than him.

STORY TWO, last December I started dating someone that I had known for a while, we will call him JG. He was in the midst of a divorce and figured out he was not quite ready for a relationship, ended being a JERK on Valentine's Day and we basically broke up. BUT, to JG's credit, he admitted his issues, apologized and we are good friends now. In fact, I completely enjoy hanging out with him because he totally gets me (ie. he knows I am neurotic and an alcoholic!)

Both of my best guy friends have GF's and both of them are pretty OK with me. In fact, one of them loans out her BF to me as my PLUS ONE date at weddings! Thank you, dear. And I have been on the other side, one of my good guy friends in high school dumped me because his STOOPID GF had a problem with it. Whatever!

So here's the scoop, ladies seriously, if you are a female that has a lot of guy friends, your significant other BETTER BE OK with it. Don't sever those ties because your guy is insecure. AND GUYS, man up, just because your girl has guy friends, that doesn't mean she is secretly in love with them or sleeping with them. I absolutely ADORE my guy friends...all of you, you know who you are! You all keep me in line when I become a hysterical female (and yes it does happen, not VERY often though).

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Once a cheater, always a cheater!

Reporting to you live from lovely Omaha, Nebraska, site of my 20 year high school reunion. So crazy to see people that you haven't seen in 20 years. Anyway, thought it was time to talk about men with girlfriends and wives (there were many there last night SANS GF or spouse). The title of today's blog always reminds me of Rachel on Friends...So hear me now, ladies, if you suspect that a guy whom is either hitting on you OR possibly whom you have gone out with a few times, is married or has a GF. HE PROBABLY DOES!

Case in point, a couple of months ago, I was at a wine tasting event and met this great looking guy, we will call him Napa (YES, he is bald, so you know I liked him) who was a wine representative for one of the wineries at the event. We struck up a conversation and it obvious that there was flirting going on between both us (yes, I was flirting). We discussed that he had been in Chicago recently and so I gave him my card and told him to give me a shout to if he is ever in Chicago again. He called me that night and we ended up having a "mini-date" at the airport. He continued to contact me throughout the next week. And there was some suggestive flirting going on over text message. But I started to have a sneaking suspicion that something weird was going on, like he probably had a GF.

SO I did the thing that any self respecting, single woman would do...I found him on FB. And his profile pic was of him and a very cute girl. NOW, I know what some of you are saying, oh, it could be a friend or a sister...REALLY, COME ON LADIES, single guys do not put pictures on FB with a friend or sister. And yes, I know it was a bit childish to confirm my suspicions on FB and I should have just asked him. But anyway, I friended him and he sends me a message might have noticed that my profile pic, I JUST started dating someone. COME ON! If you are busted, fess up. So I totally called him out on it, and said I figured out you had a GF a while ago and I think you have been dating a little longer than a few weeks. So he finally fessed up.

Ladies, seriously, I don't understand men (or women for that matter) who cheat on a GF or BF (and yes, I know Napa didn't cheat on his GF technically). I mean, you are only dating and aren't married, so if you want to date someone else, BREAK UP! It shouldn't be that difficult and if you feel like you need to cheat, then the person you are with...might not be the right person. And ladies, don't date a guy with a GF, how would you like to be the girl on the other side. And if he is willing to cheat on his GF, then he is probably a total jerk and you don't need him.

And let me just say this about married guys, ladies seriously, don't date them. I know he may be fabulous, but trust me, you wouldn't like him as much if he wasn't married, that is part of the allure of married guys. And he isn't going to leave his wife and kids for you and don't you deserve someone who wants to make you number one and not number two OR three OR four?

So my advice for the weekend, ladies, seriously, find a guy who doesn't have a GF or wife (and if you could find one with an ex-wife, that is a bonus). Trust your gut, if you suspect a guy has a GF or wife, he probably doesn't and don't convince yourself otherwise. You are beautiful, intelligent women and deserve to be number one!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!