Monday, May 16, 2011

Ladies Seriously Offenders!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen. I trust that you kept it classy this past weekend. I was so good, I stayed home on Saturday night...true sign of me passing that 40th BDAY mark, right? Hey, my hair and face got a break with no flat iron and no makeup all weekend. Hot, right?

So thanks to all who have been sharing photos of ladies seriously offenders out there...look out ladies, you never know when you will become a ladies seriously don't...

Here is our first offender...

WOW...I am not sure she could have picked uglier shoes and then to pair it with black footie socks. What was this lady thinking? OK, rule of thumb, if your shoes appear to serve and orthopedic purpose, don't wear them, time to donate. And then don't EVER wear black footie socks, unless you are going to aerobics and are wearing black aerobic shoes.

OK, here is our second offender...

OK, apparently, the 80s have called and they would like their cutout flashdance top back. Sadly, the southern girl and I were at the Sugarland concert a few weeks ago and saw another woman wearing a similar outfit (and trust me she could have used several Jazzercise classes). This girl is cute, but the top, not so much. Ladies seriously, certain fashion trends go out for a reason, let's leave them there.

Fortunately, I did not find any other offenders of recent. And fortunately, I have not had any classlessness or rudeness ensue over the past week or weekend. So thanks ladies and gentlemen perhaps America is listening to little ol' me!

My love life continues to be fabulous! Yes, you read it right, after all of these years, my patience has finally paid off and HT continues to amazing, wonderful and awesome. He was FAB with my friends a couple of weeks ago when we did our Derby De Mayo pub crawl. Hats off (literally) to the cute little Jayhawk in her amazing Derby hat and outfit. We did have one participant in the pub crawl, who did not manage her alcohol intake and fell asleep at the bar and was a bit crazy but other than that, all was good. Wish me luck, HT gets to meet my crazy alcoholic family next week...YIKES!


Friday, May 6, 2011

Classless Tools I think is the word I used...

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Happy Friday, I trust that you have made your plans for the upcoming weekend. Perhaps they include a little Kentucky Derby party. Now that is something that this classy lady needs to be do...I mean, who couldn't imagine me in the stands with a FABULOUS Phillip Treacy hat (AND yes I did know who he was BEFORE that small wedding happened last Friday), sipping champagne with beautiful Manolo shoes and a goregous dress. BOY, do I need to win the lottery!

So I just got back from Disney Jail...YEP, I had to go back for another work conference. You know as a single woman going to these things, I am always amazed at how many times married men hit on me. I believe I referred to them as classless wireless tools, BLECH, I get tired of that nonsense...And of course, there were multiple sightings of ladies seriously violators, so I thought I would share:

1. Picture this, 90 degrees and humid in Florida, not a cloud in the sky....what do I see? A woman wearing MICKEY MOUSE wellies. First, really? Mickey Mouse is not really appropriate for anyone over the age of 13. AND did she think that it was going rain or snow. Wellies really are only appropriate for that type of weather.

2. Went to the Blue Martini on Monday (out until 3 AM...nice). OH ladies...really? I don't need to see women grinding on one another ON a TABLE. One woman (who really needed a lot of Jazzercise) got up on the table and proceeded to bump and grind on her friend. Plus the making out on the dance floor...what are we in high school? LADIES seriously!

3. Here is the best story of the the bathroom at the airport. In my stall. I hear a woman come into the stall next to me...ON HER CELL PHONE. She proceeds to do what you do in a bathroom stall, and I hear her say, OH,I am just pissing because I drank too much on the plane. And she then proceeds to have a whole conversation while in the bathroom. She is telling this person about how all of these guys were getting her drinks on the plane because she is scared to fly...WOW, ladies seriously, you can't buy class. Don't EVER EVER use the phone in the bathroom stall, is there really anything that is THAT important that you need to take the phone into the stall with you?

Looking down an awesome weekend with friends. Sugarland tonight, Derby De Mayo Pub Crawl tomorrow night. And I sure you are waiting for an update on HT...well, he continues to be awesome. We finally have been able to spend some time together regularly and it just as good as the first date. It is quite frightening that the man still wants to hang with me after learning about the world that is SMB...

Have a wonderful weekend ladies and gentlemen. Keep it classy. Bonsoir, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!