Wednesday, December 28, 2011

2011 Ladies Seriously Highlights and Lowlights

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have ALL been waiting for...the JZZRGRL Ladies Seriously highlights and lowlights of 2011. I thought it would be appropriate to do these on the day of GOOD RIDDANCE as it is officially called. In New York City, they set up shredders in Times Square so that you can shred bad memories. Well, unfortunately, for this lady, 2011 was FULL of memories that need to be shredded. SO HERE WE we always start with the bad news first.

Lowlights of 2011

10. Yucky surgery in August coupled with a hospital bill of $3500.
9. Receiving NOT ONE, BUT TWO notices from one of my facilities saying pay up on your back rent, or move out (we have worked it out, but it wasn't fun).
8. Hearing that my only living grandma broke her hip on the same day that a friend of my parents had committed suicide.
7. Having my company tell me twice that they can't pay me my full paychecks (In June and September through December)
6. Having to do a mortgage loan modification with Citimortgage (see NUMBER 7)
5. Having my car broken into within the same month that I had to replace damaged floor tiles at one center and dealing with crap at another center.
4. Once again, having my Jazzercise business down in revenue, ONLY 1% down this year.
3. Having my credit rating drop 200 points in 4 months and having to deal with bill collectors for the first time in my LIFE.
2. Realizing that my parents were having a similar year to me...
1. AND YES, you KNEW this was the lowlight, being broken up with on email and having him act like I was just stupid high school girl that wouldn't leave him alone, when I was actually his girlfriend.

Highlights of 2011
10. Anti-Valentines Day, Derby De Mayo, Windy City Wine Festival and Holiday Martini outings with my friends...yes, this lady does a lot of organizing around alcohol.
9. Thanksgiving in AZ with my family.
8. Sugarland Concert with the Southern, Bodeans and Jim Gaffigan with my Mattie.
7. Rooming with my bestie in AZ for a sorority meeting, she was VERY pregnant and I was VERY heart broken.
6. Halloween outing with a dear sorority sister and then out with the redhead and friends...SO FUN!
5. Finally meeting someone who I actually liked/loved for more than 5 mins (unfortunately, it didn't last, see NUMBER ONE lowlight).
4. Realizing that my family and friends are so amazing, I couldn't have made it without them and meeting some new friends (Pittsburgh, that's you!)
3. Meetings and chapter visits with volunteer leaders and sorority sisters, you ladies make it ALL worth it.
2. My abstinence in the desert outing to AZ with 3 girlfriends in March.
1. MY TRIP TO PARIS FOR my 40th BDAY. Might possibly be the HIGHLIGHT of my life. So amazing, so lucky to have been able to do that.

Well ladies and gentlemen seriously, as you can see, it was not a GREAT year for me, in fact, it could possibly be in the top 5 worst of my life (and yes that includes the year I got a divorce). But I am READY to turn the page to 2012 and hope that brings a lot better circumstances...only way is UP from here.

And yes, New Years Eve is upon us. So once again, eat, drink, be merry and keep it classy. I am looking forward to a fun evening with one of my besties, my Mattie. I get to wear a skirt that I haven't had on since 2001...!! Poor man is starting to sweat the agreement is that he has to marry me if I am not married by the age 45, UM, my 41st BDAY is in April ;) Should be a fun weekend, gonna see some family on Sunday and see friends on pretend New Year's Day (January 2nd), when I plan to cheer my Huskers on to victory! Go Big Red. Happy New Years ladies and gentlemen seriously...looking down our THIRD year of this blog. Still very fun, thank you for reading.


Monday, December 19, 2011

A bit holiday wisdom from this past weekend...

Happy Holidays ladies and gentlemen! Did you keep it classy over the weekend? Unfortunately, JZZRGRL is here to report that there are those that did NOT keep it classy, but we will get to that in a moment. So there was lots of fun to be had over the weekend for JZZRGRL. On Friday, the Paris Sconi was in town, so I got to do fun Xmas stuff in Chicago. The Christmas Trees Around the World at MOSI, champagne at the Palmer House Hilton Bar (complete with carolers and a tree), windows at Macys, drinks and a Scotch Egg at the Gage, a great dinner at Rhapsody and then holiday martinis at the Blue Line. WOW... So here is the takeaways from that:
NOTE TO MACYS: you silly New Yorkers come in and take over our CHICAGO store (Marshall Fields) and you simply just made it SUCK. Hey Macys, get better Christmas windows, the ones you have now are L-A-M-E.
NOTE to JZZRGRL, a THIRD Grinch Martini is NEVER a good idea.

On Saturday evening, the southern and I went to the gorgeous redhead's house for her annual holiday party. Always entertaining and lots of fun. Some of the same people that were out with us on Halloween were there as well. FOR THE MOST PART, no one was too drunk and we just danced and had a great time. One quick exception, OK, you might remember our incident with the young lady that fell asleep at the bar at the Derby De Mayo party, well, let's just say, this young lady must have trouble holding her alcohol, because she was a hot mess at this party as well. I believe the southern noted her making out with some random guy at the end of the party.
NOTE to HOT MESS: Learn to sip!

Also, on Saturday evening, a good friend (who shall remain nameless, you know who you are), chose to bail out on friends to go on a date with someone. And while I could sit here and argue with everyone on the pros and cons of this, let's just say JZZRGRL and the southern were not happy with the friend. This date had NOT been planned for several weeks, as of mid day on Saturday, it was my understanding that said friend was still coming to the party with NOTE to SAID FRIEND: it is never ever ever OK to bail on friends for a date. Nuff said.

On Saturday afternoon, I was texting with another guy friend about his date to his company Christmas party. Now, he has only been out with this woman 5-6 times and he invited her to the party, which I personally feel is a mistake (but you know how are these kids going to learn if they don't make their own mistakes ;). And his date proceeded to get VERY drunk and throw up in his car. And still wanted to go out her after that, hey I give him credit for his commitment.
But anyway, I know this is probably obvious BUT NOTE to FRIEND's DATE: OHHH, it is SOOO uncool to get falling down drunk at someone else's company Christmas party and then puke in his car. WOW!

So it is almost time for us all to tap out and spend time with friends and family for Christmas and Hanukkah. You know my mantra, eat, drink, be merry, keep it classy and don't karate chop any family members ;). Have a great holiday season, stay tuned next week for the Ladies Seriously Highlights and Lowlights of 2011!


Friday, December 2, 2011

Ladies! You are fabulous, please love yourself!

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Happy know what I mean, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa...etc. I trust that you are all in the full swing of holiday buying, decorating and celebrating with class. Well, I made last Monday my own cyber Monday, thanks to (god bless you), I got all of my shopping done and didn't pay a dime in shipping. Cuz, there just isn't anything that I need to go to the store for and plus I might become angry JZZRGRL (like I did at Target the other day when THREE lanes all had price checks, coupons and other FUNKY stuff going on, and I just wanted my cheap eyeliner and mascara...yes, that's right I buy my eye makeup at Target and I LOVE IT). So I figure I might as well have kept it classy and shopped at home with my wine and my slippers.

Friday was Holiday Martinis with the Southern, my Mattie, a sorority sister and the Jayhawk couple. We had a blast, nothing like being silly and singing really loud to annoy everyone at the bar while watching Christmas Vacation, Christmas Story and Bad Santa!

So, what is this subject today, JZZRGRL? Well I recently participated in a Pathways seminar. It lasted the whole weekend. And it is an empowerment type of seminar designed to help people find balance and their path in life (great cause, right?). And I met some great people, but this is what made me SO sad, SO many people don't like themselves. And most of those people are women. And well, you know me, I am my own biggest fan (besides my mom and my OUTSTANDING fan club, you know who you are). And it is so hard for me to understand why these cute, intelligent, well put together women don't like themselves. I hope that I had just a little bit of influence on them, and I know from further emails with the group that these women are making strides, which is awesome. Ladies seriously, you are all wonderful, powerful, intelligent women. If you are dealing with some stuff, get some help, talk to someone, there is no reason why you can't make your life everything you want it to be.

So in the spirit of the holiday season, ladies and gentlemen seriously, tell the people that are close to you that you love them and support them. Smile, spread good cheer, help people feel good about themselves during the holidays. This is an especially difficult time of year for many people, whether they have lost a loved one, a job or are just struggling. I know it sounds a little Tony Robbins of me to say it, but pay it forward, send out good karma!

Next weekend is the gorgeous redhead's annual holiday party, YOU KNOW, I will have updates after that, since I have them every year. It is always a good time with a lot of ladies seriously issues! So make it a classy week!


Monday, November 28, 2011

Black Friday is simply not classy anymore!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I trust that you all ladies and gentlemen kept it classy and did not karate chop any family members or friends over the holidays. We were in lovely AZ! Can't beat turkey by the pool in 70 degree temps. Our family had a blast, of course, I think we went through 2-3 cases of wine during the holiday, but hey, it wouldn't be my family without that. I am proud to say that my dear father taught me his Bloody Mary recipe. So I am prepared to carry on the family tradition!

But to the subject at hand...thanks to my BF for this quote...Black Friday is not classy. It used to be that Black Friday was a sale day for a handful of stores and some families made it tradition to get up at like 2 AM to shop at Kohls and Best Buy. So somewhat respectable, I get it and I applaud the tenacity of those folks. I sure as heck was getting up, but they weren't bothering me.

And now in the past 2-3 years, it has SIMPLY GOTTEN out of control. Ladies and gentlemen, shopping at 10 PM on Thanksgiving, you are 1/2 drunk and full of food, and scrambling for a $20 stereo? Check out the People of Walmart for the pictures, it is frightening.

How does this make sense? People are getting trampled at a VICTORIA'S SECRET...just so you can get 5 bras for $20?

Bomb threats at Wal-Mart? Armed robbery at Wal-Mart? People dying and being injured so that you can get a 42 inch Emerson TV at Costco? It's madness. And why is it happening? Because we (Americans) are letting it happen. Let's face it, the economy isn't stores are doing these sales to boost their top line and we are buying it hook, line and sinker. And for the most part, the deals are EVEN that good.

Hey, this classy girl is all for a sale, heck, I don't like to pay retail for my shoes or handbags, but I certainly wouldn't wait in line or trample someone to get the last DVD player at K-Mart!

So here is my message ladies and gentlemen! I totally get the shopping for a deal but can we be kind to one another, no more trampling? Is it really worth it? Here's a thought, the Cyber Monday sales are just as good and hey you can drink wine while doing it and you probably aren't going to injure a child doing it (unless it is your own). So my soapbox message is this...keep it classy, boycott the silly Black Friday sales and leave Thanksgiving night to how it was intended, napping from the alcohol and trytophan and spending time with your family, because let's face it, most of us don't see our families that shopping really more important? If less people shopped, maybe the stores would take the hint.

Ok, exiting soapbox. Enjoy your week. It is getting to be time for the live tree at my house and the Southern girl CAN'T WAIT to help me again!


Monday, November 14, 2011

Empowered Ladies! We are making our men lazy...

Good Monday morning ladies and gentlemen. Happy to be back at my job full time, so I am hoping it will be a good week for all. Congrats to my Huskers for their win over Penn State on Saturday and most of all thank you to both teams for keeping it classy given the situation and for a great game! Also congrats to my Tarheels in B-Ball for winning both games this past weekend. So the Southern Girl and I were chatting this weekend about men and dating (more like complaining about it) and I made the following observation....

Women are so independent and empowered these days that we are making our men lazy. Ladies seriously, we ask them out, we make the plans, we do everything. They can text us and ask us out, they can break up with on email...and they can do all of that from their couch while watching ESPN. For my single girls out there, when was the last time a guy actually picked up the phone and asked you out (I know my answer, but that is because I told him I wouldn't go out with him until he called and asked me out, which he did do).

With all of the social media out there, we, as ladies, don't even know where we stand with men anymore. I mean seriously, the culture out there is to basically hook up, so men don't even have to take us to dinner! I don't even blame the guys out there. Gentlemen seriously, we love you, but your default position for the most part is to be lazy, as Jerry Seinfeld says, you only get jobs because you have to, you would be content sitting on the couch all day long. So ladies, it is our fault, we are so desperate to find Prince Charming that we let the guys get away with being lazy...we swoon if they text us! And hey, this classy lady is as much to blame as the next one.

So, here is my message, ladies seriously! We need to make these men work for it a bit, I mean after all, aren't we fabulous? Don't we deserve a little bit of effort? Are we so anxious to have a date that we will make all of the plans and all he has to do it show up...NO, it's time to take a stand. No more texting as the only mode of communication, no more making all of the plans (I mean I am ALL for a little sharing in that arena). No more giving IT away without making him do a little work. Aren't you worth it?

And gentlemen, I am not trying to make things difficult on you, but we have made it so easy on you, you don't even feel the need to date anymore. You can text us and we will just show up. As a society, we don't even know how to make conversation anymore. So hey, let's have a few drinks and chat before we go home and do you know what...

So empowered, independent ladies, UNITE! If he doesn't ask you out, go out with your girlfriends, don't wait at home for him to text at 11 PM for you to come to his house. If you want to date someone, make some plans, you certainly get to know that person a bit better that way, and plus, isn't going out for dinner, drinks, movies, bowling, etc, etc, more fun anyway? You can always come home later ;). Maybe at 40 years old, I am old fashioned, but hey, I embrace it!

We are close to the holidays where your family may start to stress you out...please read some of previous posts on this. Remember, your family is your family, so enjoy it. Keep it classy and be merry!


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Class means knowing when to bow out...

Well, ladies and gentlemen, given my love of college football, you knew I would have to say something about the issues at Penn State University from this past week. Now, I am not going to make a judgment on whether or not Joe Pa and former University of Nebraska Chancellor Graham Spanier (yes, I met him a few times) should have been fired or whether they SHOULD have contacted the police. Because this blog is not meant for that type of controversy. SORRY I digress.

However, the topic is really about knowing when to bow out. I will contend that Joe Pa SHOULD have retired QUITE some time ago. And it is really unfortunate that while chasing that record of being the winningest college football coach in history, he has tarnished his legacy with this situation. My beloved Tom Osborne knew when to leave...after his third national championship. Dean Smith, the classy coach from North Carolina, knew when it was time to leave, what a legend. Think about the TV shows that you loved, weren't they the ones that knew when it was time...and they haven't "jumped the shark"...think UM, Seinfeld (which went out well, I think) vs. ER (which I stopped watching because everyone was gone)... And Sex in the City ended GREAT and then they ruined it with those MOVIES...SIGH. I am scared they are going to ruin Entourage the same way, although the last few seasons of that show were pretty bad as well.

And while I know all of my readers have opinions on this, I think that being a lady or a gentlemen with class means knowing when you are at your limit. And everyone's limit is different, but isn't it better to leave when things are still good? You have been intelligent and put together an exit strategy, you have trained your successor and therefore, the program or the business is set up to continue to be successful. As I think about the exit strategy of my business, I certainly want to provide that for my team. And even if that means, I have to admit I wasn't as successful as I had planned or hoped, it is still about the people and the legacy that you leave behind, not you personally.

And for my collegiate readers out there who are in my sorority, think about how you leave your collegiate years. Don't you want to make sure that the new members coming into the organization have the same positive experience that you did? What are you doing to make sure that happens, are you leaving the chapter in capable hands? Are thinking about volunteering as an alumnae to help guide them? And while this is a specific sorority reference, it can be applied to any organization that you are involved in.

So the message today, ladies and gentlemen seriously, is this, being classy means exiting with same integrity that you entered with. Because let's face it, life changes and we move on from a job, an organization, heck, even a BF or GF (yep, that means when you want to break up with someone you should probably do it with the same level of class that you used when asked that person out to begin with...JUST SAYING), and doesn't it say a lot about your level of class and intelligence if you leave the situation and perhaps that organization, job, person, etc is better because of you...

Yes, I know....DEEP THOUGHTS from JZZRGRL today! Well, the weekend is upon us again. So keep it classy ladies and gentlemen.


Monday, October 31, 2011

And another classy Halloween is in the record books...

Hello ladies and gentlemen, HAPPY HALLOWEEN. I hope you all enjoy your day of costumes and candy, wherever you are. Since last year, I skipped the Halloween celebration as my fabulous parents were in town, I thought I should tell you about my Halloween evening in Chicago. Once again, a classy, fabulous, fun evening out with friends. Halloween Saturday night in Chicago, just cracks me up, I mean, it doesn't get better than taking cab to dinner and seeing two guys crossing the street, one in a Rocky Balboa costume and one in an Elvis costume...Hilarious!

So we started the evening with about 20 of us at a Sushi Restaurant...BYOB. So fun, our poor servers, we were loud and having a great time. HEY, they got a good tip. And once again, NO ONE at our table was inappropriate or dressed like HO. Everyone was properly covered with fun costumes, like the redhead who was Rosie the Riveter or the cute blonde who was Miss Piggy. Hats off to one of my gay friends who went as Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, yes, ladies, he wore heels. And then complained about it...welcome to our world. And me, well, I was dressed as Amy Winehouse, complete with the wig, the eye makeup and tattoo sleeves. It was great.

So yes,then we went to a regular hang out and again, I really didn't see inappropriate costumes, I was thoroughly impressed. One blondie was dressed as a Twister Game (short skirt) and she was walking around asking the guys to spin the wheel...but all in all, not bad. We danced the night away. Yep, I did some bar kissing with some fraterntiy looking dude with a backwards ball cap (don't know his name AND hate the backwards ball cap look...seriously?). The funny part was he kept asking for my number...didn't give it to me, UMMM, I will give you my phone number when you grow up and wear your hat the right way, goof.

No one in our group was too drunk or inappropriate, we just danced and had a great time once again. I just love that each year my friends know how to have fun on Halloween and still keep it classy! And when it was time for JZZRGRL to call it night (yes, I do know my limits), I walked out to the is close to impossible to get a cab at 2:30 AM on Halloween Saturday. But this classy gentlemen (who remembers chivlary is not dead), came up to me, asked where I was headed, gave him the cross streets, he was heading in the same general direction. And then he just ran off, so I thought to myself, well, guess I am still looking. Then a cab pulls up, and HE is in it. Tells me to get in and split the cab. SO THANK YOU, random classy dude for helping a girl out.

I was fortunate enough to have a good Nebraska sorority sister in town for the weekend, so she stayed with me. Great to catch up with her.

So we are into November. Almost time for my favorite holiday...Thanksgiving AND the best part is I get to be in ARIZONA this year for the holiday. Nothing says an awesome T-DAY like eating outside.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Refreshing...a guy that actually did more of the talking...

Hello ladies and gentlemen...don't mean to disappoint, but it is JZZRGRL and not Pittsburgh. He is getting a big head from all of the positive comments from his post, so rest assured, we will ask him back as a guest blogger in the future. Thanks Pittsburgh.

Anyway, just got done with a trade show. And yes, the ladies fashions were a bit poor. I mean, one woman had on skin tight pants, that were about two inches too short with ugly shoes. Ladies seriously, find a good tailor! Which reminds me, I need to find a new one, still trying to find one that will take in all of my jeans, since they don't fit. That's right, I am down three sizes in jeans. OH BABY!

So it has been a bit busy in the "dating" scene for me, not sure I would call it dating, since people don't really date anymore. I finally hung out with the scocer player on Saturday night. We met a year ago and never could put our schedules together...and then of course, I met HT, so I wasn't interested. And now I am almost over being heart broken (I think). So we hung out, watched Bucky get beat by Sparty (yay). And I have to say, fairly impressed, he seems like he has it pulled together. And he actually TALKED to me about stuff, not just football, heck, I was the one talking about football. We will has potential.

So of course, in typical fashion, you know I met someone at a trade show. We hung out on Tuesday night. He lives in Florida, ladies and gentlemen, so don't get any ideas, but fun guy. Fun night, went to Buddy Guy's place, never been there. So Buddy Guy, thanks for a fun evening. And if you are wondering ladies and gentlemen, I am a lady (most of the time) and it was only drinks.

You know my track record with boomerang boyfriends, and so Baltimore is kind of back around, I mean, he still lives in Baltimore, and is not moving ever (because of a WHACKO ex-wife and kids, it's always something isn't it)... so long term potential is not there (since I want to move to AZ), but had a great phone conversation with him last night. I guess the part that I liked about it, he did most of the talking (which for those of you that know me, it quite a FEAT). He actually talked to me about important stuff, like his future career path, where he wants to go, his feelings on it, stuff about his kids and was great and I found it refreshing because he actually talked about stuff that was important to him, including his feelings on it (the only guy that has done that with me was HT)...And he didn't have an agenda, like he wasn't going to get me into bed later. Because he was 5 states over...

And I have said it a lot, but conversation seems to be a lost art these days, especially with men, and so Baltimore (I know you aren't reading this), thank you. It was great to talk to you (listen to you). Hopefully I will see you soon.

So Halloween is upon us ladies and for the LOVE OF PETE, keep it classy. Ladies, don't do the cliche thing and dress like a HO. Have fun, be cute, be sexy and keep it classy. And that also means, don't drink too much. And if you happen to be a member of my sorority and are currently in college, for the LOVE OF PETE, behave this weekend, I don't want to visit your chapter ;).

Happy Halloween and Cheers to the start of the FOOD holidays...Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Years, Chinese New Year...Here we go. Keep those calorie counters handy.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A ladies seriously FIRST...a guest blogger...

So I had a request from gentleman who wanted to give the ladies seriously audience something from the man's point of view. And honestly, he did a good job, so here you go!

Hey everyone “Pittsburgh” here. So being a random guy friend of Jzzrgrl’s, I get to hear (AKA IM via Skype) stories about the search for love and well I am also on a similar quest to find someone in my life. After many failed attempts and bad dates, I have turned to the online world of dating. And well I have found a lot of things on your profiles that, as a guy, drive me a tad nuts with you ladies. So I figured I would give you a heads up from a guy’s perspective on how to write a successful dating profile:

1. Username – I understand you are creative ladies but if your name contains the words “lonely”, “spoiled” or “bitch” chances are I do not want to date you.

2. Photos – Yes as a guy these are the first thing I look at. You do the same now get over yourself!!! So many errors here ladies. A. Keep them current, if you are in your mid 30’s and your pictures look to be mid 20’s we will assume they are just old. B. I’m not here to see the scenery on your vacation or your dog. I’m here to see you. C. Photos with other people are fine but please some just of you. If your bestie is in every picture how do I know which one you are? D. Photos with other guys. I will just assume you have had “relations” and he is not your brother. E. The weird duck face thing. Don’t do this, you are not seven and making faces is NOT sexy…

3. Location. Please if you are in a large city make mention of what neighborhood you are in. You may be cute but are you an hour in traffic cute?

4. Activities. I hate when you say “I like going out, but I also enjoy a night in”… This says absolutely nothing. You may as well just write how much you enjoy breathing and blinking while you are at it. There is only so much room to write, say something that counts.

5. Descriptions – Please be aware that the term “about average” is being used with great liberty. Relationships are built on honesty, don’t lie if you lie and you meet up with some guy chances are he will be looking at his watch real soon on the date.

6. Income – If you only make 30 grand why the hell are you saying you only date guys who make 75 plus? Really girls… real expectations please.

7. Keep it current – Your profile says how old you are so if you start your profile with “I’m a 28 yr old…” and if your profile says your 30 it’s a good indicator that you don’t pay much attention to it.

Now these are just some tips to help you find a quality classy dude. Please also be advised that, well there are d-bags out there ladies, and I’m sure you may have come across some by now. These are the types that lead off an email with “Hello Gorgeous…” and then go on to tell you nothing but about themselves… Also these are the types that will say they enjoyed reading your profile and you have a lot of similar activities. Have they given you an example? No, well guess what they have cut and pasted this same email to 50 girls. Trust me, this happens. You know how I know??? Well, No I haven’t done it; I luckily have a co-worker also trying online dating. She sends me this stuff and I can read thru B.S. for her. It amazes me what some people try. Learn to read between the lines ladies.

Well hopefully you have enjoyed reading this, found some humor and maybe go back and refresh those profiles. It will only help you find a better quality of guy at the end of the day. Stay Classy Ladies and Gentlemen...

VERY nicely put, I am impressed. Thanks Pittsburgh. BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Ladies! Know your outfit limitations...

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Hope you all had a classy weekend. Hats off to my Huskers for their come from behind win over the Buckeyes and of course to the Sooners for their SMACK DOWN of the Cows of Texas (TU)... Well, I spent the weekend in lovely Iowa City, IA...yes the home of our new/old rivals, the Hawkeyes. Herky...what a silly name for a mascot. Anyway! I was going to visit some sorority women and was traveling with a group of FABULOUS alumane volunteer leaders.

As we were approaching our destination on campus, we encountered three different groups of women. And I have to be honest, I was appalled at their attire. EVERY SINGLE woman had on a short, tight skirt with a little tank top and 3 inch heels (OR those DAMN plastic flip flops). This is a COLLEGE town on a Friday night at 8 PM ladies. Where in the HECK are you headed? The divey sports bar downtown? The attire wasn't even appropriate for LA or NYC, let alone IOWA!...Another woman was dressed in SKIN TIGHT skinny jeans, with a top that hit her about mid-abs and 5 inch heels, I have to say she looked like she was going to be dancing "exotically" later...Just unbelievable. So it sparked a discussion that went further than, "just dress appropriately for your environment or destination". So my dear cute chapter sister offered the term...Know your outfit limitations!

1. If your skirt is so short that we might see your Britney, don't wear it. No one in public wants to see a whoo-whoo or butt cheeks.
2. If you bend over and someone can see your navel or your boobs, get some fashion tape or don't wear it.
3. By the same token, if you bend over and someone can see your thong, change your underwear, pants or just don't wear it.
4. If you went you walk past a mirror, you can see any part of your underwear, change the outfit or change the underwear.
5. If you find yourself constantly adjusting your outfit because it is too low cut, you don't have the right undergarments on OR it simply does not fit you, don't wear it.
6. If you can't sit or stand for ANY length of time in your outfit, don't wear it.
7. And lastly and simply, if you are uncomfortable in your outfit, don't wear it.

Be aware of the message you are sending to the world in the outfit that you wear. And hey I am ALL for confidence and being your own person, but you need to be prepared for the reaction you will receive, should you choose to dress inappropriately.

I used this quote this weekend...What we say and what we do define who we are...and how we dress adds into this. Perception is reality ladies and gentlemen, seriously! If you are perceived as a certain stereotype based on how you are dressed, even if you are not that way, you will be treated that way. SO I guess the best message ladies is to dress the way that you want to be perceived. Do you want to be a Jennifer Aniston or a Ke$ha? was an eye-opening experience. Perhaps I am getting too old and fuddy, duddy...I don't know. So, ladies and gentlemen, seriously, have a fabulous, classy week. Me, still looking for a job and looking for love, if you know of either that are available, certainly hit me up.


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Gentlemen Seriously...don't be a Chandler Bing

Or my favorite Mrs. Chanandaler Bong (for those that didn't watch Friends, that won't mean anything). Well this is a blog post for all of my gentlemen readers/fans. I hope you all remember the episode where Chandler goes out with Rachel's boss and he doesn't like her, but keeps ending the date with this statement "well, this is great, we should do it again. I'll call you". And then he has no intention of calling her...Well after my experience with the most recent doofus date, I thought I would share some thoughts based on that. Oh yes, we have a new inductee into the Dead to Me Hall of Fame, the Italian, who was briefly mentioned in a previous post. OK so here it goes...

For those of you that know me, you know that I am a fairly low maintenance, easy going date/girlfriend and honestly, I don't really want/need you to call me every day. But one thing annoys the CRAP out of me, gentelmen seriously, don't tell/text a girl that you will call her later, if you have no intention of calling. SERIOUSLY, so annoying. Just say talk to you soon. The Italian was REALLY good at telling me he could me later and never would. Don't be Chandler!

Additionally, gentlemen, ladies are planners. Don't be flaky about your plans, if you are going to make plans, keep them or be BLEEDING out of your eyes if you can't make it. The Italian would talk about getting together and then I would get a text message that he was going to bed...HUH? Seriously so annoying. I knew the man for a month and we went out twice, I think we had plans/tentative plans like 5-6 times.

And lastly, don't cancel via text message, so rude and annoying. Just shows me that you don't have the balls to call me to deliver the message. So gentlemn seriously, if you don't want to go out with a lady, or you don't want to call her, don't say that you will! Period. Don't be a Chandler Bing and don't be like the Italian.

And I guess you know precisely why the Italian is dead to me! Hope you all kept it classy this past weekend. Very bummed about the Husker loss yesterday...still can't win the big one. Thanks to my besties for hanging with me this weekend.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Use your talents and not your money

Hello ladies and gentlemen...Happy Wednesday. It is going to be officially fall and we are in the full swing of college football season, which just makes me happy. AND prime time TV is back in FULL SWING. Do you have your new shows on your DVR? I do...New Girl (love, love, love Zooey) and Suburgatory (I mean how can you not watch that one, the name alone is AWESOME). This upcoming weekend I am going to Kansas City to see my sister and brother-in-law win their Humantarians of the Year award. Yes, they are serious giver backers. I mean everyone in that family volunteers...even the dog is a therapy dog.

And the nice thing about it, is that they have given back their time (not necessarily a lot of money). So many times we "honor" people who simply have a lot of cash that they want to give away. So hats off to my sister's family. Plus I get to see my dear niece and nephew. I have decided that my niece is a lost cause in the fashion arena and I am shifting my efforts to my nephew...who is 7 and wanted to wear a suit to the event tomorrow night. OK, we have something to work with niece wants to wear sweat pants.

So, I think a couple of years ago, I did a blog post about volunteering your time. And the point of my story was that if each person in the world picked ONE thing that they are passionate about and gave their time back to that, the world would be a better place. And this doesn't mean that you have to give your money, I mean because most causes NEED money, but many of them need volunteers to help DO things. As you all know, I volunteer for my sorority and I volunteer a lot of time, but let's face, this girl is BROKE - A**, so there is no way I can give money right now. But trust me, what I do for them is way more valuable than writing a check.

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, message for today: find that ONE thing and give your time back to it. FOR EXAMPLE, there is a new suitor in JZZRGRL's life (only two dates, but hey, it's a start), we will call him the Italian (for obvious reasons) and he told me he is passionate about golf (he plays like 3-4 times a week) SOOOO, if the Italian was so inclined, he could find a golf organization to give back to, maybe mentoring kids to play golf...Anyway, you can find something and yes I know, none of us has ANY time, well, if you are passionate enough about it, you will make time. So make the time, trust me, you will get a lot of it.

In my last post, I told you all about my job. Well the good news is, I already had an interview this week and things are looking good. So I may be back in the land of the fully gainfully employed soon and here is the good is NOT in wireless and they have FULL benefits...OH YEAH, not paying for my own health insurance sounds DARN good to me.

SO I am OFF to KC and then to lovely Omalala NE to see my parents. Huskers are playing the might Cowboys of WYOMING this weekend. Go Big Red. Have a good one ladies and gentlemen.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Being classy also means taking a loss gracefully...

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. As you may know (or not), college football is in full swing. And wow, there have already been some great games. AKA, Notre Dame-Michigan last Saturday. And I was watching my BF Kirk Herbstreit last weekend on GameDay, I got to thinking about head college football coaches and how they handle themselves. These men are in the spotlight regularly and have to have press conferences on the backside of a big loss or big win. And if you are lucky enough to be a coach at a traditional powerhouse football school, like my beloved Huskers, you have even more pressure on you. And so it says a lot about how you handle yourself in light of that pressure.

The newish head coach, Brian Kelly of Notre Dame, was being berated for losing his temper on the field in the game against USF. My dear, Bo Pellini, had the same thing happen last year when he lost his cool with his players and the officials during the Texas A&M game. I mean seriously, and don't even get me started on Bobby Knight. Is it right or is it wrong? I am not sure, I understand the incredible pressure that these people are under, from the fans to the players to the university to the boosters, but I think it is how one handles the aftermath is the true test of character. Look everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions (hence the frosted hair look I sported in college), we are human. So rather than skewering these guys for their performance on the field, perhaps we should look at their reaction after the fact. Well, Bobby Knight never apologized... But in reading the aftermath of Coach Pelini outburst, it seems that he quietly apologized and moved on and since then it has not had a problem. I would have to say, that has some merit and class.

So it got me thinking about the bigger picture and my personal issues. Ladies seriously, how you handle yourself in serious pressure and stress says just as much about you as how you handle yourself in a good situation. My company basically closed down yesterday and I am not sure that I am ever getting another paycheck from them, my business is not growing and I am at the end of my rope. I have to make some very hard, serious decisions (ladies seriously) and I believe that my reaction to this particular situation will not only help me grow but will say a lot about my character. Failure (in my eyes) is not something I do very well, I have always been number one and this is not an easy pill to swallow. Man, it's been tough year, having my heart broken by being broken up with on email (at least it wasn't a sticky note) and then this.

I am a big believer that life doesn't throw you any more than you can handle, so I guess there is a reason that this is happening at this point. But ladies seriously, when you are faced with a situation that seems impossible, be a lady, be classy and handle yourself with grace. If that means admitting something is over, it is, move on. MANY MANY successful people have failed...heck, Donald Trump and Walt Disney filed bankruptcy, Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard, Einstein was expelled from school, Thomas Edison made 1000 unsuccesful attempts at inventing the light bulb and Oprah Winfrey was fired from her TV job. And I think you would count each of them successful. So this classy lady is going to follow their lead.

Here we go...


Thursday, September 1, 2011

It's time to get off your....

Hello ladies and gentlemen, I know what you are saying...two blog posts in one week, how can I BE so lucky? Well yes, I know, it is a bit unusual, but you know I only write when I have something to say (that I think people want to read...CUZ let's face it, I always have something to say. My mamala says that I just talked to myself when I was little, which doesn't surprise me). SOOO, I was reading an article this week about the fitness industry and two things struck me...

15% of all Americans go to a gym and 65% of them are overweight or obese. AND that health clubs that are open 24 hours are appealing because people want to be able to work out whenever they want... OK, here it goes.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN seriously, it is time to get off our asses and move. You are not going to get any healthier by sitting on the couch. I want scream it from the mountain top! And the other thing is that you don't get to work out and then go to McDonalds every I said in my original blog post, only ONE way to lose weight, eat less, exercise more.

Just read another study that says the only way to lose bell fat is through aerobic activity...that means moving your ass...whether it is walking, running, biking, aerobics, stair master...that blasted ZUMBA ;) I am a Jazzercise instructor, I have to say that. You have to sweat and you have to burn calories. That's it, 2000 crunches are not going to give you Gwen Stefani abdominals PERIOD. Because if there are three layers of fat on top of the muscles, the muscles will never show through.

Here is the other thing, if Yoga and Pilates are your only form of exercise and you want to lose weight...not going to happen. Yoga and Pilates are AWESOME forms of exercise but to tone, strengthen and stretch your muscles, not to lose body fat.

OH and the other thing, people want to join a gym so that they can work out anytime..I am sorry but I call BULLS**T on that one too. Seriously, if you have worked all day, if you go home, you are not going to go to the gym at midnight...really! So these 24 hour fitness places are taking your money and you are not is what they bank on, you know.

Here is the bottom line...find an exercise you like (and yes you are going to have to sweat and you are going to be tired and you are going to be sore) and stick with it. ANYTHING, I don't care, just move your bootie...PLEASE. All of the extra weight is bad for you and it makes you feel bad as well.

And then stop eating all of the crap. Here is what I did and you might not like it, but anyway, I cut out everything! Bacon, sausage, pizza, cheeseburgers, pork, sweets, french fries, chips...etc (notice I didn't say coffee or alcohol, I'm not crazy). And I told myself if I really miss it, I will add it back in...guess what I missed? French Fries and Chocolate Chip Cookies. So I get them each once a month period. The rest I don't care about it. Sure, I have some chips from time to time but I haven't been to a fast food restaurant in over a year. So do it the way that works for you, but eat some healthy food, you will be amazed what it does for your health, I don't have stomach problems or allergies ANYMORE and I haven't been sick in 9 months...

So that is my this country where morale is so low, consumer confidence is at an all time low, and the economy isn't getting any better, do something good for yourself, don't wallow in the bad stuff, trust me exercise gives you endorphins and when they start to kick in, you feel better and then you might just lose that weight that you want to lose!

Enjoy your weekend. GO BIG RED!


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

An impressive and fun evening...

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Hope that you are enjoying the end of summer and for those of you on the east coast, hope the back to back punch of an eartquake and a hurricane wasn't too much for you. Doesn't sound like fun to us...but of course, our 24 inches of snow in February probably doesn't sound too good either. Since I tend to focus on the recommendations for people to be MORE classy, I thought I would tell you about an evening where everyone was classy and it was just an all around good time.

My good friend and I attended a pop up dinner on Saturday night. Now this is a bit of a new idea where chefs in the area create a small little dinner party at various places around the city. John, the FAB chef at this event, is without a restaurant right now and I think wanted to cook for everyone. Not only was the event well run, food came out in a timely manner (5 courses), the food was FABULOUS (South American/Spanish style), the people was so nice. It was truly like having a dinner party at someone's house. Everyone was seriously dressed appropriately. Every person we met was nice and wanted to talk about interesting stuff. It was so great.

My favorite bartender was there mixing drinks for each course (and he rocks). My lead singer from my favorite band was there (yes, Poi Dog Pondering's Frank Orrall). He was trying to bus tables (so cute) and was super, super cool and kept spinning great tunes all night. And I got to wear my beautiful red Tahari dress and Badgley Mischka shoes, and yes, I know that sounds silly, but I have these fabulous clothes in my closet that I never get to there.

All in all, everyone was classy and it was a great evening. So hats OFF Chicago, well done (thanks John, Justin and Frankie and of course, my date, Levy). I was completely impressed. And you know I don't say that very often!

On a personal note, still trying to get past my break up. As most of you know, I was dating someone (HT) that I really, really liked (hell, probably loved) and he broke up with me at the end of June (via email). Man, when we were together, I was SOOO happy. Sadly, I had waited quite some time for someone like him that met all of my requirements (so picky) and sadly, I think I will be waiting a long time again. Some may say I am too picky...heck, many of my friends say that, but I am not settling (for anything less than everything, thanks Sugarland). So keep your eyes open for Mr. Perfect for Jzzrgrl if you will. In the meantime, I am going to continue to enjoy my friends and family.

Labor Day Weekend is upon us...and as I have discussed with many of my friends multiple times in the past week or two, we all seem to just be in a funk, people are angry, the economy stinks, morale is horrible. So hey, let's buck up ladies and gentlemen seriously! Enjoy yourself this weekend, spend time with friends and family, go out, drink, eat, be merry, celebrate the positives in life (I KNOW you can find some).

Hey I am in the worst financial situation of my life, I am single (AGAIN), not enamored with my job and hey let's face it, my business is not growing like I need it to.... But I intend on seeing my Huskers win their first game as a part of the Big Ten, see some family and hang with friends...and I JUST MIGHT have a glass of wine or two (or 12). And I am not going to worry about how to pay my bills this weekend. :) So I suggest you follow suit, cuz that's what classy, intelligent, fun people do!


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How classy are you at the office?

So as I sit here in my office and listen to the huffing, puffing, sighing and yelling from the other offices, I am starting to think about behavior and actions at the office. Ask yourself this question...does my personality at my job reflect who I am really am? Do I act and dress appropriately at the office?

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, how you dress at your job is JUST as important as how you act. You want people to WANT to work with you, right. And yes sometimes, our jobs require us to be the "bad guy" or do things we don't really want to do, but there are ways to do those things with classy and integrity.

CASE IN POINT...last week I had to call the IRS, yes, JZZRGRL owes some taxes and needed work out a payment plan. NOW, I was calling the I-R-S...I already had an attitude about it, assuming I would get some really mean, uninterested, jerk on the phone. MUCH TO MY SURPRISE!! (after waiting on hold for 40 minutes), the woman I got on the phone was SOO NICE. She was helpful and kind and I gotta say completely changed my attitude about the IRS. She was handling her job with class and integrity. I LOVED IT.

And I have to be honest, even the customer service people at AT&T handle their job with class. SO ladies and gentlemen, I am guessing your job is better than having to deal with rude customers at either AT&T or the IRS...if they can be fabulous, so can you.

One of the best studies in sociology is to work at a job with a group of people. EVERYONE works differently, is motivated differently, has a different background, set of standards and morales. And it is your job to figure out how to work with these people. You notice, ladies and gentlemen, I SAID it is your job. You need to adjust your approach to best work with the people that you need crap from... And as much as we want the other person to change to our way of working, it works better for you to figure it out.

Another JZZRGRL example, I worked with this gentlemen many years ago, whom was gruff and angry and most people in the office didn't like him and didn't want to work with him. Well guess what, he was the procurement person for my I had to figure it out. I killed it with kindness and figured out how he wanted things sent to him...and he loved me for me. We worked well together for many years and in fact, he would reference me and ask others why I couldn't just do it that way.

So here's the point to the story, don't yell and huff and puff...act with class and professionalism. Understand your work environment, the people you work with, their personalities and work with them. Everyone will be happier in the end. You will make mistakes, you will get angry and that's OK, just learn from it and move on. OH BOY, did I make some mistakes at my jobs!! And while some of you are saying DUH...I already do this, many of us do not. Work is work and you should be working to live. So smile, be merry and at the end of the day, you get to go home and not look at those people anymore.

As for me, things are statu quo, nothing new to report, having tons of fun with my friends and the fabulous city where I live. But no dates, not really interested honestly. Thought I had that whole dating thing figured out...HA, guess I was wrong. :( Very excited to do my first pop-up dinner this weekend.

Keep it classy and professional at the office (or WHEREVER your job is). BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Hot weather doesn't underwear!

Hi ladies and gentlemen, it's been a while since I have posted and since I have been home for several days, I thought I would share some thoughts with you. I have been home due to a short little surgery that I had to have this week. Don't worry, it was outpatient and I am healing very quickly. Hats off to the classy ladies and gentlemen at Northwestern Hospital, the whole process was VERY impressive. My doctors and nurses were fabulous. And a special thanks to all of my friends and family that were supportive. I even got flowers delivered to me at home! First time in like 4 years, of course, not from a man, from my company, but hey, it was really nice.

So it's just been VERY hot everywhere in the US, right? That means that our ladies out there are dressing to beat the heat. Cooler fabrics, cute shorts and summer dresses are a great way to do this. I like to wear dresses on hot days, because hey as a lady, they are cooler and look cute. But I always remember that I should wear appropriate underwear and a bra with them. Case in point, last Friday, I met the redhead and some of my boys from the Vegas trip AND we saw a "lady" wearing a short skirt and NO UNDERWEAR. EWWW, gross, right? And how do we know, well, she walked up some stairs...that were open to the downstairs. Come on ladies, that is just yucky, wear underwear, it is unsanitary not to. And on a side note, don't wear a thong under a short flowing dress either, a nice pair of boy shorts. Concerned about panty lines? There is under that has a sticky strip along the edges so that you don't see panty lines. Personally, I have like 5-7 different styles of underwear for each outfit. They should be like shoes, pick the appropriate pair for the outfit.

And again, I feel like a broken record saying this, ladies, wear the right bra with your summer outfit. Many of the cute sundresses are strapless or have skinny straps. Ladies seriously, there are bras that work with all of these types of dresses, you just need to find a few key ones. If you have a dress without the appropriate bra, don't wear it until you have the right bra. Trust me, no matter what size your chest is, your boobs ALWAYS look better when supported and covered. I think I have said this before, but UP and OUT ladies!

So it has been a less than stellar two months for JZZRGRL! Between my health issues, my business issues, my work stuff and my break up, I haven't been the happiest of girls. Here's hoping that everything comes up back around in the next two months. I hope that all is well with all of my readers. Keep your chins up, you are beauitful, wonderful, smart ladies. Keep it classy and enjoy the rest of your summer!


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Oh ladies...a little maintenance is nice!

Hi ladies and gentlemen. Well, I have been laid up on the couch in pain for the last 4 days. Trust me, that is all you want to know about my ailment. So I thought it was time to do another post. My fan base asked me to write one based on some observations from the US ladies soccer game on Sunday. So I must oblige them, right?

Now ladies, I may approach a subject that is a bit uncomfortable for some of you as I am going to point out a few fashion tips for our female athletes and those ladies that don't like make-up, fashion, etc. Apparently, at the soccer match on Sunday (I didn't watch), some of my fans observed that the head coach of the US team could use some waxing...more specifically on her chin. She had some whiskers sticking out there that were broadcast WORLDWIDE. Now, I understand, this lady had a lot on her mind, her team was competing for the World Cup title, but perhaps a little maintenance the day before the big match might have been appropriate.

Now, I know that my female athlete friends (some of them, don't mean to generalize) and other ladies out there, prefer not to worry about the details of make-up, fashion, waxing, etc. But ladies seriously, a little shaving, wax, and a little bit of make-up does make you appear more professional. I am not saying that you need to glam it up and if you not comfortable with that, it's OK. But trust me, my dear sweet sister was not a suit, heels, and make-up kind of a gal until she starting working with politicians and doing lobbying. She found out that people take you more seriously when you are well put together. It's just the facts of life, sorry to say.

And some of these ladies have very little time and trust me, I respect that...but just 10-15 minutes a day to do a little waxing/shaving, cleansing, moisturizing and a bit of makeup will go a long way. PLUS skin maintenance will pay off when you start hitting 50-60 years old (I have been taking care of my skin since 5th grade and most people wouldn't believe that I am 39 (+1) years old). Especially you women that are incredible athletes, you already have ROCKING bodies, so a little make-up, maintenance and cute outfit would be amazing on you.

As I have been home for 4 days, there has been A LOT of maintenance at my house, I think I have used every face mask I have in the house. I am finally getting out of the house tomorrow. Thanks goodness for my friends who took my out on Saturday night, I was in pain, but hey I was a champ and I looked good in my dress and heels, no less. We found a great new place in Chicago, The Bedford on Division and Ashland, check it out. Say hi to my man, Justin, my fav bartender when you are there.

No dating updates...still sad. :(

BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS. Stay classy and well maintained.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Technology...some times a good thing!

Hello ladies and gentlemen! So I just simply had to share this story with you as it is so random. Not sure how it fits into the world of JZZRGRL and being classy. But you be the judge.

Yesterday, got a text from a Cali phone number (not in my phone). Here is how it went:

707: Hi again
JZZRGRL: Might be wrong number, who is this? (Being classy, didn't want someone out there to think the other person was ignoring them...BEEN ignored, don't like it)
707: It's TEXT GUY (you know my rules about protecting the guilty), how's the puppy? Doing better?
JZZRGRL: Sorry wrong number.
707: This isn't RANDOM CHICK? Oh now, I feel stupid, sorry.
JZZRGRL: It's OK, don't feel stupid. Good luck.
707: Thanks, I am sure I just wrote it wrong then. Are you good at relationship advice?

That's all he needed to ask, because I am SOOOO awesome at relationships, that is why I am still single at 40 and can't even keep a date for more than a few months.

S0, back to TEXT GUY, OK, so not to bore you with the details. But I texted with this random TEXT GUY all day. He is married (for 17 years). RANDOM CHICK is somebody he works with. And I know you are all saying...oh boy, here we go, this guy is slimy and trying to pick you up. But it wasn't that way AT ALL. He loves his wife, would never cheat, thinks she is really hot, but let's just say he needed advice on his desires and how to translate them into spicing up the physical life with his wife. Yes, I was his marriage/sex counselor via text for day. And it was not gross, it was actually refreshing that some guy after 17 years of marriage wants to figure out how to continue to make it work with his wife. Granted, his methods are a bit unorthodox. But there was no harm in it AT ALL!

So that gets me to my message for today. You all know I am big proponent of phone and face to face conversations (reference previous blog post Oct 1, 2009, are we creating social morons?). But sometimes texting is OK. Case in point, I was trying to be nice to let this guy know that he had the wrong number and we ended up having a connection over text. When I first met HT, I didn't talk to him on the phone for like three weeks. We got to know each other through text and email. BUT when it came time to ask me out, he does have class and actually called me to ask me out. And then our first date was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G because we had gotten the awkward stuff out of the way via text.

So the bottom line, ladies and gentlemen seriously, is be classy with technology as well. And if you have a human connection with someone awesome, be careful, and have fun. This was such an awesome story, I just had to share.

It's the weekend, keep it classy. Drink and be merry. Found a great new bar in the area..the Bedford, bar in a bank vault, so fun. Go see my man, Justin! Remember, the devil will be serving drinks in hell, so join my party if you are going there.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Zip it up and cover it up ladies!

Hello ladies and gentlemen, we are in the dog days of summer and boy oh boy, it is hot, right? I know that we are all finding ways to keep cool this month, and perhaps, you might think it is time to wear less clothing...HMM, less, NO, lighter weight YES! I have been making various observations in the past few weeks and thought it was time to remind all of our ladies out there the ladies seriously rules for keeping it covered up!

1. It's summer time and that means hot and sweaty, right? Well, the best rule of thumb is wear lighter weight clothing...not skimpier clothing. Perhaps a nice sundress with the appropriate undergarments (no BLACK THONG underwear underneath a white dress). I find summer dresses to be cute and much cooler than shorts (plus I don't like my legs in shorts). And again, ladies, wear a bra, once without the straps showing and that is appropriate for the dress. Your chest looks bigger in a bra, TRUST ME.

2. OK, midriffs went out in the 80s. And even if you have the rockin abs, a cute belly button ring and pull it off, just don't do it. Stars don't even look good in that outfit. I have encountered many women recently that could use plenty of Jazzercise who find that that the mid-riff is an acceptable fashion statement. In the words of Karen Walker, oh HONEY...NO!

3. I have also encountered many women that could use some substantial Jazzercise and they have parts of their body exposed, which should just be covered up. Hey ladies, more power to you for being proud of your body, exposing with, shortie shorts, hot pants, bra tops, mid-riffs, or low rise jeans or shorts, just is yucky. Be proud all you want, just cover up.

4. Unless you are a star like Rihanna or Pink, don't color your hair an odd color like purple...I saw a woman in her 50s, who could use Jazzercise, in a pair of faded capri mom jeans with PURPLE hair...ladies seriously??

So once again, keep it classy with your fashion and your behavior this summer ladies. It has been an interesting summer for me, not as fun as some of the previous ones (this whole J-O-B thing stinks). As for my dating life, well, you may have guessed that HT and I are on a break, not sure if it is a Ross and Rachel break or a Brad and Jennifer break, but nonetheless, I am limping around with a broken heart. The guy that I met while in Paris (who is from Wisconsin, but lives in New Zealand, but is working in Germany) came to visit last weekend, which was "nice". Cute guy, just not HT...

Here's hoping your 2nd half of the summer is great, sure hope mine gets better! Keep it classy, stay cool and keep it covered! CHEERS, BONSOIR and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Oh ladies....

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I trust that the summer is treating you well and you have all been very classy. You knew it wouldn't be very long until I found something to report on, I mean, it is the summer and while my schedule has not allowed me to be at very many street festivals and outside activities, I still have managed to find a great picture for you all.

Now, I was in a bar at like midnight, so the picture is a bit grainy, but ladies seriously....a gold sparkly top tucked into hot pink underwear that is that far above your jeans? What I have told you all time and time again about under garments? They must match your outfit and seriously, don't tuck your shirt into your underwear! SIGH.

Well, I was at a sorority event over this past weekend. And for the most part my sisters were dressed appropriately, a few skirts that were too short, but hey it was Scottsdale, AZ and it was 103 degrees outside. But my favorite part (besides seeing all of my wonderful friends) was the presentation called Gracious Living. And we talked about the 4 Cs, Courtesy, Camaraderie, Class and Consideration. Which I love!! One of the things we talked about was how to take a compliment, so today's lesson is simply that, what do you do when someone says, I like your dress? Do you say, oh, this old thing, I picked it up off the floor of the closet, I don't really like it, it makes my butt look big, etc, etc. Or do you say, thank you very much. I hope most of you said the latter, because being gracious and classy means knowing how to accept a compliment, plain and simply. And if you are dressing with class, you should be receiving compliments! :)

I am sorry to say that I don't have a positive update on HT, I am not counting him out yet as he is a classy man, however, it is best to leave the part quiet for now.

The 4th of July is upon us and my sister, brother in law, niece and nephew are coming to visit me. First time in like 3 years! YAY! Lucky them, they get to do the Frontier Days 4th of July Parade. Remember, the long holiday means lots of food and drink. Keep it classy and keep it covered ladies!


Monday, June 13, 2011

Gentlemen, apparently you can't buy class either...

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I trust that you are keeping it classy this summer. Remember just because it is warm outside, doesn't mean that our fashion rules don't apply. Yes, you can show more skin, but ladies seriously, appropriate undergarments are still required, the right bra and panties PLEASE. Gentlemen, long sleeve button down shirts do not go with jeans and flip flops. And if you have ass ugly toes, don't wear flip flops...get a pedicure!

Ok, so after my experience with a pompous, classless guy (he is no gentleman), I thought I would share with the gentlemen out there how not to act. You might remember last fall when I met a man (let's call him Oriole) at a trade show and had a pretty good time with him (it's a family show, so I won't go into the details, but I think you can figure it out). So hey, I am pretty big believer in honesty and when I left him, his exact words were, we will see each other again. And then I never heard from him...OK, if it was just physical, fine, say that is what it was. I have WAY less respect for you for making it seem like more. OK, FINE, done and done. Moving on...

SOOOO, last week, lo and behold, guess who is coming to Chicago for business. He emails me and for some odd reason I think it is a good idea to get together for dinner one night*. My crazy schedule only allows Wednesday night free, so I suggest that I meet him. Of course, he starts texting with me, kind of flirting...blah, blah, wants to know if I have a boyfriend, I say yes and he is the best. So now, Oriole is all bummed, blah, blah... Next day, he is texting because he is bored and wants to go out, I can't (nor do I want to). And he is boo-whooing, asking for my hot friends. So in a momentary lapse in judgment, I suggest that he get together with the Southern girl (who is single and hey, Oriole is good looking and fun...from what I remember). Figuring they can have a few drinks and have a fun evening. YEAH, little did I know that he thought I was "hooking" them up and basically made a play for her...Gentlemen seriously??? That is so not cool, I offer my friend to hang out with you and you hit on her...?

Fast forward to the next night, when I go out with him, oh lord, this guy is horrible. Complained about his ex-wife the entire time (nothing says classlessness than that), talked about how great he is, looking for a job...$200K blah, blah, he wants to find a woman that will be mature enough to just sleep with him, doesn't believe in monogamy...AND, oh he wouldn't have slept with the Southern Girl given the chance. Sorry, I call BS!!! On that one. So gentlemen seriously, don't act this way, don't bag on your ex-wife, especially if she is the mother of your children, don't sit in a bar and talk about how you don't believe in monogamy...YUCK, the whole thing felt dirty and I don't care to ever speak to Oriole again. Good riddance.

And to my dear Southern girl friend, I am so sorry that I "pimped" you out, so not my intention and thanks for being an awesome friend and rolling with it.

*so HT and I are officially BF/GF, two months in now... :) and YES, I told him prior to going to dinner with Oriole. And yes, HT knew the story and because he has class and is confident, he was fine with it. He is so awesome... Good looking, good fashion, great sense of humor, confidence, smart, fun, classy and just rocks!

That's all I have for you now...but trust me, I am sure bad summer fashion will poke it's ugly head out VERY soon. Until then...BONSOIR! Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Ladies Seriously Offenders!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen. I trust that you kept it classy this past weekend. I was so good, I stayed home on Saturday night...true sign of me passing that 40th BDAY mark, right? Hey, my hair and face got a break with no flat iron and no makeup all weekend. Hot, right?

So thanks to all who have been sharing photos of ladies seriously offenders out there...look out ladies, you never know when you will become a ladies seriously don't...

Here is our first offender...

WOW...I am not sure she could have picked uglier shoes and then to pair it with black footie socks. What was this lady thinking? OK, rule of thumb, if your shoes appear to serve and orthopedic purpose, don't wear them, time to donate. And then don't EVER wear black footie socks, unless you are going to aerobics and are wearing black aerobic shoes.

OK, here is our second offender...

OK, apparently, the 80s have called and they would like their cutout flashdance top back. Sadly, the southern girl and I were at the Sugarland concert a few weeks ago and saw another woman wearing a similar outfit (and trust me she could have used several Jazzercise classes). This girl is cute, but the top, not so much. Ladies seriously, certain fashion trends go out for a reason, let's leave them there.

Fortunately, I did not find any other offenders of recent. And fortunately, I have not had any classlessness or rudeness ensue over the past week or weekend. So thanks ladies and gentlemen perhaps America is listening to little ol' me!

My love life continues to be fabulous! Yes, you read it right, after all of these years, my patience has finally paid off and HT continues to amazing, wonderful and awesome. He was FAB with my friends a couple of weeks ago when we did our Derby De Mayo pub crawl. Hats off (literally) to the cute little Jayhawk in her amazing Derby hat and outfit. We did have one participant in the pub crawl, who did not manage her alcohol intake and fell asleep at the bar and was a bit crazy but other than that, all was good. Wish me luck, HT gets to meet my crazy alcoholic family next week...YIKES!


Friday, May 6, 2011

Classless Tools I think is the word I used...

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Happy Friday, I trust that you have made your plans for the upcoming weekend. Perhaps they include a little Kentucky Derby party. Now that is something that this classy lady needs to be do...I mean, who couldn't imagine me in the stands with a FABULOUS Phillip Treacy hat (AND yes I did know who he was BEFORE that small wedding happened last Friday), sipping champagne with beautiful Manolo shoes and a goregous dress. BOY, do I need to win the lottery!

So I just got back from Disney Jail...YEP, I had to go back for another work conference. You know as a single woman going to these things, I am always amazed at how many times married men hit on me. I believe I referred to them as classless wireless tools, BLECH, I get tired of that nonsense...And of course, there were multiple sightings of ladies seriously violators, so I thought I would share:

1. Picture this, 90 degrees and humid in Florida, not a cloud in the sky....what do I see? A woman wearing MICKEY MOUSE wellies. First, really? Mickey Mouse is not really appropriate for anyone over the age of 13. AND did she think that it was going rain or snow. Wellies really are only appropriate for that type of weather.

2. Went to the Blue Martini on Monday (out until 3 AM...nice). OH ladies...really? I don't need to see women grinding on one another ON a TABLE. One woman (who really needed a lot of Jazzercise) got up on the table and proceeded to bump and grind on her friend. Plus the making out on the dance floor...what are we in high school? LADIES seriously!

3. Here is the best story of the the bathroom at the airport. In my stall. I hear a woman come into the stall next to me...ON HER CELL PHONE. She proceeds to do what you do in a bathroom stall, and I hear her say, OH,I am just pissing because I drank too much on the plane. And she then proceeds to have a whole conversation while in the bathroom. She is telling this person about how all of these guys were getting her drinks on the plane because she is scared to fly...WOW, ladies seriously, you can't buy class. Don't EVER EVER use the phone in the bathroom stall, is there really anything that is THAT important that you need to take the phone into the stall with you?

Looking down an awesome weekend with friends. Sugarland tonight, Derby De Mayo Pub Crawl tomorrow night. And I sure you are waiting for an update on HT...well, he continues to be awesome. We finally have been able to spend some time together regularly and it just as good as the first date. It is quite frightening that the man still wants to hang with me after learning about the world that is SMB...

Have a wonderful weekend ladies and gentlemen. Keep it classy. Bonsoir, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Stupid American Tourists Tricks...

Bonsoir ladies and gentlemen. JZZRGRL has returned from her FAVORITE place in the world and was once again reminded why it is the most amazing city in the world. It is absolutely beautiful. And I had an amazing trip, the weather was perfect, the food was awesome and the sites and shopping were even better. I couldn't have planned a better 40th BDAY trip than this. So you knew I had to come back and give you stories from my trip.

Generally speaking the fashion was pretty good, well the French women had good fashion, the stupid tourists that I saw did not. I mean, how many times do I need to say this, there is NEVER a time a that a fanny pack is OK. And really, a Disney Land T-Shirt and sneakers with socks? Ladies and gentlemen seriously, can we at least try not to look like a tourist? You know me, I had my cute flats and capris on every day. Most people did not think I was American...

I did buy a new pair of shoes, of course, I was in you think I couldn't go to Christian Louboutin and buy shoes. The sales guy asked me out...FUNNY.

So a few funny stories from the trip:

1. OK, so I had my global phone (Thanks HT) and was using it to check email while I was there, I promptly received a text from the good folks at Verizon Wireless that my data roaming charges were approx. $200. SO I turned everything off, ONLY to realize that there was free wi-fi in the lobby of the hotel. YEAH, I realized that on the day I was leaving...good job.

2. I did fall up the stairs once on the Metro. I think my inherited clumsy genes are starting to show more as I get older. I did hit my hand, kind of hurt...

3. The best story was on the day I left, I met a guy from Wisconsin (what are the odds??) and he and I hung out on Sunday. So on Monday, we were both leaving and thought we would take the train together to the airport. Well, he was running late, we finally get to the station and it was a debacle to simply try to buy tickets for the RER, so we finally go through the turnstyle. My HUGE pink suitcase gets stuck in the doors and we have to have the attendant help us. Then we run to the train, Bucky (he went to Wisconsin for school) gets stuck in the doors trying to help me onto the train. We manage to unlodge him and get on the train, we can't figure out if we are on the right train. Someone tells us we are not on the right we get off and CANNOT figure out how to find the right we decided just to get a cab, then we CANNOT get out of the turnstyle, so we have to jump it with luggage and all. Then we come up to the street and cannot get a cab to save our lives. Finally Bucky flags one down. Long story, stupid Americans shouldn't try to take the train to Charles de Gaulle.

So I will continue to share stories and information from my trip, but I have to share my favorite stupid American story! So I am at the Musee d'orsay (BTW, when did Paris become Disneyland with the turnstyles and lines that are 30 minutes long for a museum??). There is a Manet exhibit, so I pay to get into the exhibit and I am standing in line. There is a museum employee working the line. And a woman, CLEARLY American, comes up to her and says this (IN YOUR BEST REDNECK TEXAS ACCENT)...why do we have to stand in line for this guy? Is he more famous than Monet or Renior? OH DEAR LORD, seriously? I wish I could have seen the face of the museum employee. A. DON'T assume this woman speaks English, you are in FRANCE, they speak FRENCH, B. Seriously, lady, if you don't know the difference between Manet and Monet, perhaps you shouldn't be at the Musee d' was HILARIOUS!!

On the homefront, the situation with the AWESOME AWESOME guy continues to be, well, AWESOME. Fifth official date tomorrow night, he is so sweet and funny and a total smartie pants just like me. The crazy part is he gets me...which is not an easy (nor real desirable) task. HT, you are the best! Can't wait to continue to tell my readers about how amazing you are.

More to come, CHEERS AND CIAO (and maybe Au revoir) BELLAS! Or Bonsoir!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Spring has sprung...still doesn't mean tights can be pants....

Happy Spring Ladies! I trust that you are starting to clean out that closet and bringing out your spring and summer clothing. Keep in mind, you only need to add a few key pieces each season to refresh your wardrobe and you don't have to spend a lot of money to be cute, sassy and sexy this summer. Remember, undergarments are just as important as the clothing and for CRYING OUT LOUD, put those damn UGGS boots away. AND no rubber flip flops.

Ok, I am somewhat coming off my soapbox. I am still waiting for those pictures of ladies seriously violators out there in public. Try to take them without getting beat up...LT!! Well, I was out and about this weekend and thought I would tell you about some offenders:

1. The redhead told me about this one, which prompted the title. She experienced a young woman wearing sheer tights (as pants) with a short skirt that barely covered her butt cheeks. Sadly it is still too cold for spring in Chicago and therefore, she had a coat on but it was a short coat, and her "tights" were riding above her skirt and then she had a nice little peek of her underwear above there. Ladies seriously, no one wants to see your butt cheeks and your underwear in public. And if they do, it is someone who wants to get you naked...leave that for behind closed doors.

2. At a winery on Saturday afternoon, woman walks in wearing a short tight black skirt, with black hose (again, YUCK... ladies, pantihose are SOOOO 80's, let it go), and open toed 6 inch black patent shoes. CLEARLY not appropriate for getting afternoon drunk at a winery (yep, wine tasting is just a classy excuse to drink on a Saturday afternoon). Needless to say, a bit overdressed. Ladies seriously, let's double check our clothing choices to ensure they are appropriate for the venue.

3. AND THE WINNER!!! Saturday night, the redhead and I experienced it...larger woman, tall and probably could use some Jazzercise. Skin tight black leather pants, top that was gathered at the bottom so it sat her waist (read that her WHOO-WHOO and butt were on full display in those pants), 5 inch black heels and a FULL LENGTH FUR COAT! Now, it is in the 40s in Chicago right now, we are not in Antartica. We SOOO wanted to take a picture, but think we might have gotten rolled. OH dear lord, there were so many things wrong with this one...Ladies Seriously, no one in public should be showing their lower half in that type of leather pants. WHEW....that one was bad. And I personally loathe fur, but even if you support fur, you have to agree it is inappropriate at J. Alexanders Lounge on a Saturday night in April.

Well ladies and gentlemen, this classy lady is sniffing down a 40th birthday on Saturday. So I am taking my three best friends (me, myself and I) to Paris for 4 days. Yes, April in Paris. One of the most amazing, classy places in the world. I am super excited. My hope is to get some ladies seriously DO's and DON'Ts while there. I mean it is Paris... So more to come there.

And my other big news is that I have been out on a few dates with an amazing, wonderful, classy guy that ACTUALLY passes all of my requirements, and dear lord, there are a lot of them and a lot of silly, stupid ones. Ladies seriously, the guy knows how to dress, wears the right shoes, is as much of as smartie pants as me (frightening), knows that chivalry is not dead and most importantly "gets" this shoe/handbag crazy, wine, coffee and car snob, classy lady and treats her with respect. I am confident you will hear more about him in the upcoming posts, but let's just call him HT for right now and I will tell you that he is FABULOUS. This classy lady has been single for SOOO long, I truly cannot believe I met someone like him.

Happy Passover, Happy Easter to all of my religious friends! And to the rest of you, hope you will join me in the future for a drink in hell with the devil ;) CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

No self respecting female...

Hello ladies! Happy Spring. I have returned from the desert and am back in Chicago. Unfortunately, Chicago has decided to skip Spring this year and we are still getting cold weather and of course, my Cubbies lost yesterday in their home opener. Well, this post is a follow up to the October 5, 2009 post regarding hair color. OH ladies seriously, as we have discussed, there is no shame in the game of coloring your and I would contend that no self respecting female wears her natural hair color.

As requested my little spies (thanks LT) out on the streets have started sending me pictures of offenders of the ladies seriously rules of hair, clothes, shoes, makeup, etc...And we have a new winner! LADIES, don't ever do this to your hair, seriously white blonde streaks over this reddest color? What is she trying to accomplish here?

So as I have mentioned, if you are going to color your hair (and unless you were naturally blessed with FAB hair color, I would recommend that you do), please make sure it looks somewhat natural, matches your skin tone and matches your eyebrows.

Don't ever color your hair easter egg blue or Husker red...unless you are rock star, I mean Katy Perry, Pink and Rihanna CAN get away with it. But even those ladies need to only keep that crazy color for a short amount of time. Rihanna! The red is over, find something new.

Highlights are fine if they are enhancing your natural color or current color, but they should never mimic a skunk like this lady!

Platinum blonde only looks good on a handful of people, so unless you are Marilyn Monroe or Gwen Stefani, steer clear. AND unless you are fabulous like my girl the redhead, two different hair colors on one head usually don't look good.

And lastly, hair color from a box works for some, but be careful, start by matching your natural and take one or two steps from there and test before you do the whole head. My recommendation would be simply to go to the salon, but if the box makes more sense financially for you, just be careful. I don't want you looking like Katy Perry on accident.

So ladies seriously, color away, but keep these rules in mind! Have a great weekend, eat, drink and be merry...keep it classy.


Saturday, March 26, 2011

Everyone needs a full length mirror...

Hello lades and gentlemen, greetings from lovely Scottsdale, AZ. Having a great time with 3 classy girls and we have decided to call our trip Abstinence in the Desert. And of course, everyone is keeping it classy. We went to a Cubs Spring Training game yesterday and of course there was a lot of bad fashion on the lawn. And so my girl Sam and I were discussing the topic of full length mirrors. And here it goes, we have decided that every single person in the world needs a full length mirror in their house. And ladies seriously, before you leave the house, please use it. It might avoid problems like this...

1. An older women wearing a bikini top with pleated khaki shorts at the Cubs Spring Training game, who was not the size or the age to wear it...think grey hair. AND she had her wristlet around her waist like a fanny pack (there is NEVER a time that a fanny pack is OK). If she had checked her full length mirror before leaving the house, she might have re-thought the outfit.

2. Or the woman wearing a full ON bikini at the game. First of all sweetie, this isn't the pool. And while she had a very nice body, perhaps a full length mirror might have made her realize she was going to a baseball game instead the beach.

3. OR the woman on the plane on Wednesday night/Thursday AM wearing a skin tight gold dress with glitter tights and teal Ferragamo flats...hmmm, the whole outfit was a disaster, but if she used a full length mirror she might realize that not only was the outfit ridiculous, it was not appropriate for a flight to Phoenix.

I could go on and on with the bad fashion that we have encountered in the last two days. But ladies (and gentlemen) seriously, this is the message today...invest in a full length mirror. You can find them at any WalMart for like $5. When you leave the house, USE IT, once, maybe twice. Ask yourself if you look appropriate for the place you are going, if you have dressed for your body type and have the appropriate undergarments on.

Well the ladies are off to shop today. So enjoy your weekend, use your full length mirror, eat, drink, be merry and keep it classy.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Less is More....

Wow, I think I have used that blog post title before, but it applies to so many things, we might as well re-use it. Less cleavage, less visible panty know the usual. Hello ladies and gentlemen, were you classy over the weekend? It was the official celebration weekend of St. Patricks Day in Chicago and yes, I saw three women dressed in FULL St. Patty's Day gear at 8 AM on Saturday AM ready for their full day of drinking. I texted one friend at 8 PM to see if he was around and he was in bed since he had been drinking since 7 AM. WOW, really...I guess I am too old, I just don't see the appeal of marathon drinking all day, I would need a nap!

Well, this specific less is more is related to you gentlemen out know I have specifically addressed my male readers recently. So I thought it was about time. Last time I mentioned a classy gentlemen, Hawkeye Time, well he actually sent me a gentlemen's fashion don't (HINT HINT, LT/MB and others, you need to start sending me ladies' fashion don'ts for better information on the blog). So here it is gentlemen...when it comes to men's jewelry LESS IS MORE.

Gentlemen seriously! Ladies DO NOT think it is hot when you wear a lot of jewelry. A watch, one ring and MAYBE a cool bracelet (although that is questionable) is probably enough. And yes that ring should be your wedding ring if you are married. I know, I know, you aren't any less married if you don't wear a ring, but come on, wearing your ring shows that you are committed. And classy ladies, like JZZRGRL, know not to hit on you.

So gentlemen, rule of thumb, only TWO pieces of jewelry at a time. Period...hey, if I have a BIG pair of earrings on, I don't wear a big necklace, bracelet and ring (ladies seriously, you might want to use that same rule of thumb). So idea applies. Now granted this picture is a big over the top, but you get the drift.

So Happy St. Patricks this holiday and no I am not Irish. Have a great week...stay classy.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The stages of dating by JZZRGRL

Hello ladies and gentlemen. It is Monday morning in Chicago and there is no snow on the ground. Were you classy ladies and gentlemen over the weekend? I certainly was a good lady, had some drinks and dinner with two of my best guy friends and got caught up at 2303. Very nice.

So I was out with one of my besties on Saturday night (love you DW). And we were talking about my various categories for men that I have dated and it got me to thinking about it. The funny thing was he added a category which I thought was very appropriate. SO here we go!

1. DEAD TO ME. Well, you all know and love this category. This is a special category reserved for those BOYS (not gentlemen) who I never care to speak to or see again in my life...Mr. Big, Napa, Dallas, the one that broke up with me on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, these are the ones that tend to be the boomerang boyfriends as well (no matter how many times you throw them away, they keep coming back). Well, we have a new contender for this special category...Harvard. Yes, you read right, remember back about a year ago, I had high hopes for this BOY. Well after several insulting text messages about the car I drive, I think he is ready for this category. And I quote "Sex in the City Brand Conscious Broke Consumers" drive your car. NICE.

2. DEAD TO my pants. Ok, this is reserved for those guys that I know and love, who are either ex-boyfriends that I don't hate or are good friends. There are plenty of GENTLEMEN in this catgeory...Houston, the 29 year old, Pancake Pants, the Big Haitian, Libertyville, DW, Levy, my ex-BF the Irish guy. This category is reserved for guys that I still want to be friends with, I just don't want to sleep with you. Sorry!

3. And the NEW category is DEAD TO my pants, but in an emergency you will do! :) I love this one. DW came up with this one. And yes, there are 2-3 of the gentlemen in the DEAD TO my pants category that could move here. But NO ONE from the first category will ever be allowed to move into this one. See, it's like a Monopoly game, do not pass, do not collect $100.

So there is a new gentlemen in the mix ladies and gentlemen. And this JZZRGRL really likes him. Let's just call him HT (Hawkeye Time) since he is a big college football fan and went to school there. I am not giving any more details, I don't want to jinx it. So have a FAB week ladies and gentlemen, hope my post gave you a little humor this week.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Prekop Really?

Ok, for those ladies seriously readers out there, it is an inside joke...but since it has been some time since I have posted and there are some gentlemen out there that wanted to see their names on my blog (although I told them that the names were hidden to protect the guilty, EH, boys will be boys), I thought I would write you all from sunny FL...yes, Orlando...yes, Disney Jail...yes, the humidity it about 200% outside....and YES, they do not sell gum in ANY store in Orlando. Why? You Ask?...because the Mouse (or as one friend calls him...the Rat) wouldn't like it and he is just that damn important. OH Orlando, little people everywhere, all hopped up on McDonalds and sugar waiting to see Buzz Lightyear or the Mouse or the Disney Princesses. Anyway, don't get me started on the parents and the kids issue in Orlando, not enough time or space and I would rant...

So once again, JZZRGRL is traveling for business. Still continue to be amazed at how few females there are in the technology world. We are in Disney Jail for a conference for the largest wireless carrier in the US (yes, I can hear you now). The carrier company actually has does have quite a few women in high level executive positions, but generally speaking the percentage is still around 85% Men/15% Women. BUT I MUST give out a ladies seriously shout out to the men and women of said wireless carrier company for their appropriate business attire. ALL SUITS, I cannot point to one man or woman who looked sloppy or inappropriate. SO GO YOU!

Ok, now for the gentlemen (Mr. Jobs, Mr. Bearcat (NOT STEELERS...BLECH), Mr. Rhode Island, Mr. A little over-served carrier sales guy and of course Hawkeye Time (who happens to be the 29 year old's boss, go figure) who kept me up until 1:45 AM (why do I never have enough sense to GO TO BED?)...Drum roll....ladies, what do you think? I should I bash on them? ....Actually, nah, these were gentlemen! Not a single one was inappropriate and all but one is married and not a single one bad mouthed his wife. And as for the fashion...I would give them a 6-7 in the casual bar wear attire. We had a lot of fun, it was silly and they complimented by shoes, so hey they can't be that bad, right? Boys will be boys and you can guess where the conversation went a few times, but hey all in good fun.

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, traveling for business can certainly be a GRIND, but if you take the time to enjoy each city ONE or TWO nights with drinks and dinner with fun, classy people, it can be less horrible. So this lady figures, life is short, enjoy the opportunities, drink, be merry and keep it classy...because you NEVER KNOW in this world when that guy at the bar that you met on a business trip will become your next boss (OR visa versa).

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Take a hint from my friends in the South...

Oh ladies and gentlemen seriously, it has been TOO long since I have posted anything. I suppose I should bring you up to speed, since you are dying to know what is happening with JZZRGRL. Well, things are all good, I did go back onto recently and have had a few dates, three of them to be exact. And one of them is a pretty good match (we are going out again), the other two were probably not good matches (but VERY nice, very classy guys). The funny thing is that the one that I am most interested in is not from is the 29 year old that I met several months back. Still meeting all of the JZZRGRL criteria.

So last weekend was the 2nd Annual Anti-Valentine's Day Pub Crawl. Great turnout...the stats are: 8 PM to 3 AM, 12 attendees, 6 bars, a lot of drinks and more laughs. And only one make-out session and yep that was yours truly. Had to keep my streak going. But once again, everyone kept it classy. Thanks to all of my awesome friends.

So, this AM, I was watching the returns from the last debate between the candidates running for the Mayor of Chicago. And I was APPALLED at the things that these politicians say to one another. There are 5 major candidates and 4 of them basically had nothing to say but bad stuff about the leading candidate. Now, I am not endorsing Mr. Emanuel (this blog is political neutral), however, to the other candidates, SERIOUSLY, find some other subject matter besides finding everything wrong with Rahm. Don't you have your own thoughts, your own ways to make Chicago better. At least Rahm had enough class not to respond to the attacks.

And it is not just this election, it is ALL elections, they get SO nasty. Why are politicians SO rude to one another? If you are running for public office, there has to be a reason and therefore, talk about your issues, not why you hate the other guy. When you go into a job interview, you don't get to tell the interviewer why your competition sucks, you have to talk about your own qualifications. And yes, the media has a lot to do with it, but hear me now politicians of the world, ladies and gentlemen, SERIOUSLY, have some class and stop bagging on your other candidates.

So if you have ever been to the South, you may find Southern hospitality quite charming. Most people in the South say please and thank you. They don't have harsh words and even if they are giving a "Y'ALL STINK", they say it with class. So here is my suggestion, SHIP all politicans to the South for some manners training with the Southern mothers! Teach these people some class! And maybe the next election won't be so nasty.

SIGH...well the Chicago election is next week so at least the utter rudeness should end for the time being. Until that time, ladies and gentlemen, seriously, keep it classy.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.