Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ladies Seriously Highlights and Lowlights of 2010

OH BOY, ladies and gentlemen, I know that you have been anxiously awaiting this review from JZZRGRL. 2010 was not the best year on record and I fully look forward to a better year in 2011.

1. Being pursued hardcore for almost 2 months by Napa, claiming he was interested in me and that he and his GF were basically broken up. I believe I even said to him I thought he was using me, somehow he convinced me otherwise. Then had a very "physical" weekend ONLY then to find out he and his GF were never broken up, by his ridiculous FB posts.
2. Being disappointed by Harvard, period.
3. Finding a guy from Baltimore at a trade show in Florida, spending three great days with him and then have him ignore me when we return home when I say I would like to see you again.
4. Having Dallas tell me about his new GF in a text message conversation, which he initiated.
5. Crashing my sister's car while visiting her in Kansas City.
6. Realizing that Jazzercise has been a losing proposition and that I probably won't do this business long term.
7. Figuring out I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
8. Spending my shoe budget on my cat with her vet bills.
9. Having my Barbie Part ONE laptop die only to realize the my business database had not been backing up and had to pay over $2500 to have the CSI forensic computer guys recover it.
10. AND THE BEST! Being told that my $500 Tahari dress that I wore for a presentation was TOO short and unprofessional...HUH? Do you know me?

1. Finally finding a full time job in August at a great company, after looking for a year.
2. Vegas in March with the redhead.
3. Windy City Wine Festival and multiple other nights out in the city with my Mattie and the Southern girl (including Holiday Martinis).
4. Thanksgiving in Omalala with my crazy alcoholic family.
5. Realizing that my best friend knows me better than anyone else in the world and automatically knows how to react to my comments and situations.
6. Two trips to Snobsdale, one in April for my BDAY and one in May.
7. Losing 28 pounds in 5 months and being able to fit into all of those clothes in my closet.
8. Black Eyed Peas concert and BMW Championship (in a beautiful corporate tent) with Levy.
9. Celebrating my parents' 40th wedding anniversary in Snobsdale AND in Chicago. And being so proud that my amazing parents have stayed married that long!
10. Once again, being so thankful to have an amazing family and friends to support me (AND being able to support a friend in the past month who was going through tough relationship stuff).

So once again, we say good-bye to another year. Next year is a BIG ONE for me, my second annual 39th BDAY, hoping to celebrate it in the greatest place in the world, PARIS. Remember ladies and gentlemen seriously, keep it classy, practice the golden rule, have fun, be good, be gracious to others and dress for your body type and age...and everyone will have a happy 2011.

Tonight is the big Husker game and I am off to Austin, TX. Happy New Year. Ladies seriously signing off until next year, Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Holiday Parties, don't leave the lady at the door

Well, ladies and gentlemen, are you done with all of your holiday parties? Oh I cannot think of a time where people get themselves in more trouble than at holiday parties. And I am not only talking about the office holiday party, what about your neighborhood party or a party at a friend's house? So here are some rules that I heard on the news the other day and some added ones from

Office Parties
1. It is a TWO DRINK MAXIMUM. Anything more than that are you are playing with fire.
2. Don't wear anything too over the top festive (think a rudolph nose, antlers or a bad Christmas sweater, unless of course, it is a bad Christmas sweater party) OR don't wear anything too revealing (leave that for your friend's party). And for crying out loud, wear the right bra and underwear.
3. Don't kiss ANYONE except YOUR date under the mistletoe. And for crying out loud, don't make it a make out session.
4. Don't hit on ANYONE at the party, period. No co-workers, no single friend of your other friend, period. Leave that for the bar party you are going to next week.
5. Don't, don't, don't dance on anything but the dancefloor. And then keep it to a minimum, don't pull an Elaine from Seinfeld at your office party.

Other Parties
1. Don't hit your girfriend's date at a party. Even if he seems to be a better match for you, that is JUST WRONG and breaks the ladiesseriously GF code.
2. Just because it is a holiday party doesn't mean that the ladiesseriouly rules for fashion are put by the wayside, not too much cleavage (less than 25% of your boobs showing), right bra (no nipples, no sagging), right underwear (I don't want to see your thong), right leg coverings (leggings don't equal pants, NEVER EVER wear sheer pantihose, unless they are the black ones with the seam up the back and are appropriate, and find the right color tights)...
3. For crying out loud, don't get so drunk that you are basically hooking up with some guy on the dancefloor or in the corner. If you need to do that, take him HOME!
4. If it is a party at your friends' house, BRING something, a gift for the hostess, alcohol, an appetizer...don't be a bad guest.
5. Socialize and mingle, don't stay in one room and watch TV all night.
6. Wear a coat, no open toed shoes without tights, it is the middle of December for crying out loud and we live in Chicago...

The bottom line is, ladies seriously, the same keep it classy rules that apply everyday, apply DOUBLE at a holiday party. Keep it clean, dress appropriately, don't be over served and have fun. Remember, the more you drink, the more you will eat...and of course, we all gain weight, over the holidays, so be careful.

I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Belated Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Chinese New Year to all! Have a wonderful holiday, remember the reason for the season and be NICE to your family. Stay tuned next week for the infamous HIGHLIGHTS and LOWLIGHTS from 2010. I know you are anxiously awaiting...

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Recent Dating Comments and Observations from JZZRGRL

Hello ladies and gentlemen! I hope you are as ahead of the game as JZZRGRL is, all gifts DONE, all cards DONE, all wrapping and shipping DONE, not sure what I am going to do with myself this week. Getting ready to tag out for the big Christmas holiday with my family. We are headed to Kansas City for Christmas this year, which is so fun because I get to see my niece and nephew's faces when they get their Santa gifts.

I wanted to update you on the dating scene, which has gotten a bit interesting, my friends feel they need a scorecard to keep up, but what do they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a good one (actually they say to find a prince, but you know how I feel about that crap) or your chances of finding a good one are better when you play the field, so here I am playing the field:

1. Update from the Houston guy, this is the guy I met this past summer, nice guy, works in the NFL. But hadn't heard from him in like 3 months, suddently get a TEXT message (you know how much I hate the constant texting) and he wants to know if I am mad at him...REALLY? Mad at you, about what? So I send a text back, no, not mad at you. And he sends one back, well that isn't very cheery. SORRY, I am supposed to be excited and cheery that I get ONE text from you after three months. NOPE, sorry, dead to me.
2. Met a guy right before Thanksgiving, actually lives in my neighborhood, from Nebraska, wicked smart (I mean I needed a dictionary to read his emails). He actually hung with my family at Thanksgiving after the Husker/Colorado game, comes over to my house, etc, etc. Then he FACEBOOK emails me on a Thursday afternoon to ask me to watch a movie with him that night, and can we watch it at my place because he doesn't have a TV...WHAT, what 40 year old man doesn't have a TV. I actually am busy that night, tell him I can't and can we do it another night? Never heard from him again...REALLY? You are mad at me because I didn't go out one night. Should have known better, he had REALLY REALLY bad fashion, not sure it could have been fixed. Yep, say it, dead to me.
3. Update from Dallas. SIGH...Ok, had dinner with him in October when I was there for business, VERY NICE TIME. Agreement was that I would come to Dallas if the Huskers played that one Oklahoma team in the Big 12 Championship. And of course, in typical Dallas fashion, I don't hear from him for like 6 weeks (insert eye roll here). Well it did end up that my Huskers were playing the Sooners in the championship. I text him and tell him I can't come down. Get a text back, blah, blah, not sure if he can get tickets and then MY favorite line, you will be missed. WHAT? what is it with you gentlemen, you can't say, I WILL MISS that too much? Anywhoo, on the day of the game, HE TEXTS me to ask if I have a prediction on the game. I say no, it should be close, and ask if he is going to game...I get this, NO, I am saying at home to watch it with new GF...WHAT, you asshole, I don't give a crap about new GF and I didn't even contact you. So this one has been hanging on for a while, so you guessed it, dead to me.

So it is time to shuffle the deck once again, I actually have three gentlemen that are potentials right now. You know I never use names to protect the GUILTY. So there is the 29 year old, I met at a work event, lives in my neighborhood, should see him this week. The French Car guy (he speaks French, YUMMY) and he is helping me get rid of Betty, my 5 year BMW and helping me find Bridget, my new to me BMW (my Mattie says Bridget sounds HOT). And then there is the winner (or the one I like best right now), the soccer player from OH, who lives in Bucktown. You know I don't like to jinx it, so you all don't need anymore information than what I have provided you at this time. All three are cute with good fashion and are in contention, but knowing me, they will all be gone by NYE..HA! And I didn't even tell you the story about Baltimore, cuz there wasn't much to tell, let's just say that was a physical one ONLY.

So to all of my gentlemen followers, follow my advice, don't do what these guys did, if you don't want to hang with a girl, don't keep texting her. And if you DO like a girl, pick up the EFFING phone and ask her out. It is just that simple.

As you will notice the list of dead to me men is getting longer. We will keep trying! Stay posted I have a few more blog posts to come before the end of 2010, ready for this year to be done, not a great JZZRGRL year.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Stop boo-whooing and make a change!

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Alas, once again, holiday time is upon us. Time to put up the decorations, shop and buy the gifts, wrap the gifts, do the cards, do the cooking/baking (well, not at my house), go to the parties and OH YEAH, continue with the regular part of your life, your job, your family, Jazzercise, etc, etc. I read a card today that said remember as a kid how much you loved Christmas? And you open it up and said Yeah, back when someone else used to shop, wrap, decorate and cook...Right!! Yes, we are all busy, busier than normal during this holiday season.

So let me ask you this question, do you ever get annoyed with those people in your life that continuously complain about how much they have to do? You know the ones, they can't get their work done but they have time to go out with friends (or find a new boyfriend). The ones that have time to online shop but can't possibly find time to make a phone call or send a card. Well, I am here to say that those people need to stop crying about it and get to work. These people might actually get more work done if they shut their pieholes and hunker down. In fact, I would love to start a rule that if you complain about how much you have to do, that you have to actually live the life of a single mother supporting 4 kids by working 3 jobs for JUST one day. Bet most of us (including me) couldn't do is all a matter of perspective and priorities.

Ladies and gentlemen, in this day and age, EVERYONE is busy. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, so perhaps, it is time to make a change in life and stop boo-whooing about what you have do to. I literally work four jobs (at the ripe ol' age of almost 40) but do you hear (or read about) me complaining about my work load? I made the choices in my life that got me to this point, so I honestly don't feel like I can complain. The funny thing is that those like the single mother I mentioned before are the ones that complain the least.

I also find that those same people that are "SOOOOOO" busy are the ones that cut people off in traffic, don't hold open doors for people and are generally rude and as my good friend, Smiley, likes to say a crabbypotumus!

If you find that you are one of those people that complains more than getting things done, maybe it is time to evaluate your life and make changes so you do have time and that might just be changing how you approach things. Life is too short to be angry and busy all the time. Lighten up, especially at the holidays, you might actually enjoy a few things. And let's face it, constantly complaining about how busy you are is simply boring and NOT classy.

So ladies AND gentlemen seriously, get over yourselves, lighten up, have a drink, stop complaining and be merry! You never know what Santa will leave you under the tree...I am hoping for a hot, single man and a new car!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!