Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Oh ladies...a little maintenance is nice!

Hi ladies and gentlemen. Well, I have been laid up on the couch in pain for the last 4 days. Trust me, that is all you want to know about my ailment. So I thought it was time to do another post. My fan base asked me to write one based on some observations from the US ladies soccer game on Sunday. So I must oblige them, right?

Now ladies, I may approach a subject that is a bit uncomfortable for some of you as I am going to point out a few fashion tips for our female athletes and those ladies that don't like make-up, fashion, etc. Apparently, at the soccer match on Sunday (I didn't watch), some of my fans observed that the head coach of the US team could use some waxing...more specifically on her chin. She had some whiskers sticking out there that were broadcast WORLDWIDE. Now, I understand, this lady had a lot on her mind, her team was competing for the World Cup title, but perhaps a little maintenance the day before the big match might have been appropriate.

Now, I know that my female athlete friends (some of them, don't mean to generalize) and other ladies out there, prefer not to worry about the details of make-up, fashion, waxing, etc. But ladies seriously, a little shaving, wax, and a little bit of make-up does make you appear more professional. I am not saying that you need to glam it up and if you not comfortable with that, it's OK. But trust me, my dear sweet sister was not a suit, heels, and make-up kind of a gal until she starting working with politicians and doing lobbying. She found out that people take you more seriously when you are well put together. It's just the facts of life, sorry to say.

And some of these ladies have very little time and trust me, I respect that...but just 10-15 minutes a day to do a little waxing/shaving, cleansing, moisturizing and a bit of makeup will go a long way. PLUS skin maintenance will pay off when you start hitting 50-60 years old (I have been taking care of my skin since 5th grade and most people wouldn't believe that I am 39 (+1) years old). Especially you women that are incredible athletes, you already have ROCKING bodies, so a little make-up, maintenance and cute outfit would be amazing on you.

As I have been home for 4 days, there has been A LOT of maintenance at my house, I think I have used every face mask I have in the house. I am finally getting out of the house tomorrow. Thanks goodness for my friends who took my out on Saturday night, I was in pain, but hey I was a champ and I looked good in my dress and heels, no less. We found a great new place in Chicago, The Bedford on Division and Ashland, check it out. Say hi to my man, Justin, my fav bartender when you are there.

No dating updates...still sad. :(

BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS. Stay classy and well maintained.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Technology...some times a good thing!

Hello ladies and gentlemen! So I just simply had to share this story with you as it is so random. Not sure how it fits into the world of JZZRGRL and being classy. But you be the judge.

Yesterday, got a text from a Cali phone number (not in my phone). Here is how it went:

707: Hi again
JZZRGRL: Might be wrong number, who is this? (Being classy, didn't want someone out there to think the other person was ignoring them...BEEN ignored, don't like it)
707: It's TEXT GUY (you know my rules about protecting the guilty), how's the puppy? Doing better?
JZZRGRL: Sorry wrong number.
707: This isn't RANDOM CHICK? Oh now, I feel stupid, sorry.
JZZRGRL: It's OK, don't feel stupid. Good luck.
707: Thanks, I am sure I just wrote it wrong then. Are you good at relationship advice?

That's all he needed to ask, because I am SOOOO awesome at relationships, that is why I am still single at 40 and can't even keep a date for more than a few months.

S0, back to TEXT GUY, OK, so not to bore you with the details. But I texted with this random TEXT GUY all day. He is married (for 17 years). RANDOM CHICK is somebody he works with. And I know you are all saying...oh boy, here we go, this guy is slimy and trying to pick you up. But it wasn't that way AT ALL. He loves his wife, would never cheat, thinks she is really hot, but let's just say he needed advice on his desires and how to translate them into spicing up the physical life with his wife. Yes, I was his marriage/sex counselor via text for day. And it was not gross, it was actually refreshing that some guy after 17 years of marriage wants to figure out how to continue to make it work with his wife. Granted, his methods are a bit unorthodox. But there was no harm in it AT ALL!

So that gets me to my message for today. You all know I am big proponent of phone and face to face conversations (reference previous blog post Oct 1, 2009, are we creating social morons?). But sometimes texting is OK. Case in point, I was trying to be nice to let this guy know that he had the wrong number and we ended up having a connection over text. When I first met HT, I didn't talk to him on the phone for like three weeks. We got to know each other through text and email. BUT when it came time to ask me out, he does have class and actually called me to ask me out. And then our first date was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G because we had gotten the awkward stuff out of the way via text.

So the bottom line, ladies and gentlemen seriously, is be classy with technology as well. And if you have a human connection with someone awesome, be careful, and have fun. This was such an awesome story, I just had to share.

It's the weekend, keep it classy. Drink and be merry. Found a great new bar in the area..the Bedford, bar in a bank vault, so fun. Go see my man, Justin! Remember, the devil will be serving drinks in hell, so join my party if you are going there.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Zip it up and cover it up ladies!

Hello ladies and gentlemen, we are in the dog days of summer and boy oh boy, it is hot, right? I know that we are all finding ways to keep cool this month, and perhaps, you might think it is time to wear less clothing...HMM, less, NO, lighter weight YES! I have been making various observations in the past few weeks and thought it was time to remind all of our ladies out there the ladies seriously rules for keeping it covered up!

1. It's summer time and that means hot and sweaty, right? Well, the best rule of thumb is wear lighter weight clothing...not skimpier clothing. Perhaps a nice sundress with the appropriate undergarments (no BLACK THONG underwear underneath a white dress). I find summer dresses to be cute and much cooler than shorts (plus I don't like my legs in shorts). And again, ladies, wear a bra, once without the straps showing and that is appropriate for the dress. Your chest looks bigger in a bra, TRUST ME.

2. OK, midriffs went out in the 80s. And even if you have the rockin abs, a cute belly button ring and tattoo...to pull it off, just don't do it. Stars don't even look good in that outfit. I have encountered many women recently that could use plenty of Jazzercise who find that that the mid-riff is an acceptable fashion statement. In the words of Karen Walker, oh HONEY...NO!

3. I have also encountered many women that could use some substantial Jazzercise and they have parts of their body exposed, which should just be covered up. Hey ladies, more power to you for being proud of your body, exposing with, shortie shorts, hot pants, bra tops, mid-riffs, or low rise jeans or shorts, just is yucky. Be proud all you want, just cover up.

4. Unless you are a star like Rihanna or Pink, don't color your hair an odd color like purple...I saw a woman in her 50s, who could use Jazzercise, in a pair of faded capri mom jeans with PURPLE hair...ladies seriously??

So once again, keep it classy with your fashion and your behavior this summer ladies. It has been an interesting summer for me, not as fun as some of the previous ones (this whole J-O-B thing stinks). As for my dating life, well, you may have guessed that HT and I are on a break, not sure if it is a Ross and Rachel break or a Brad and Jennifer break, but nonetheless, I am limping around with a broken heart. The guy that I met while in Paris (who is from Wisconsin, but lives in New Zealand, but is working in Germany) came to visit last weekend, which was "nice". Cute guy, just not HT...

Here's hoping your 2nd half of the summer is great, sure hope mine gets better! Keep it classy, stay cool and keep it covered! CHEERS, BONSOIR and CIAO BELLAS!