Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ladies! Footwear 101

Ok, ladies, you know about my snobbery and obsession with shoes. So I think it is time that we discuss what is going on with some of you and your feet. In my last blog post, I touched on it a bit...mid calf boots on a short person, NO, Wellies with capris, NO, Flat Wooden Beaded Sandals with a sequin dress, NO and yes, I have to say it again, Uggs, NO...

Well, as I mentioned, I have been the social gal in the big city in the past few weeks and I have observed some MAJOR footwear offenders and therefore, I felt it was time for me to dedicate an entire blog post to the subject. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you shouldn't wear comfortable shoes, if you prefer flat shoes, that is fine (well, it really isn't, but...) I am saying that your shoes should ENHANCE your clothing, your body type and shape and your FOOT. So here are some reminders...

1. RUBBER FLIP FLOPS ARE FOR THE SHOWER and VERY CASUAL CLOTHING. OMG...really, rubber flip flops? I saw two ladies at a swanky club wearing short, fairly cute dresses with black RUBBER flip flops. No, not a cute pair of beaded or sequin flip flops...but RUBBER. Where are these things coming from? Ladies, don't do it.

2. If you have a pair of shoes that with 5 inch heels and you can't walk in them, DON'T wear them. I saw a girl in a fairly fashionable outfit (jeans and a cute top) with SKY HIGH heels and she was barely being able to get one foot in front of the other. Even Christian Louboutin would frown.

3. Boots are for the winter (and sometimes in spring and fall) but NEVER the summer. Please put them away. Wellies are OK, if you follow the correct clothing guidelines with it, see blog post from May 12th.

4. Boat shoes. WOW, never thought I would see these things come back in, but lo and behold, I opened my In Style mag the other day and there they were. Ok, boat shoes probably need to stay with a nautical theme or a fairly preppy theme. And BTW, don't wear the old ones that you have left over from the 80s, buy a new pair if you want to support this style. YES, it is true, I saw a chick with a white canvas pair on at the bar and those babies had to be circa 1984.

5. Fads are fads ladies. I saw that those jelly sandals are back in as well. Oh yeah and apparently espadrilles are also making a come back. This is all good, but ladies, they are fads and will be OUT next year, so don't spend a lot of money on them and pair them with a casual cute summer outfit and then trash them at the end of the season.

6. Classics are always classics. Simple pumps, strappy sandals and Mary Jane style shoes will always be in. So if you are going on an interview or simply have a cute dress and you are unsure of which way to go, you can always stick with the basics.

7. Black shoes are not always the best standby. I know as women we own like 10 pairs of black shoes. But if you are wearing a lighter colored dress or outfit, brown, champagne or silver are good options. Sometimes a splash of color is good, like a red, pink or green might be fun.

8. If you have open toed shoes (which are my favorite), please make sure your toenails are presentable. Polished toes are preferred, but if you don't like to polish, at least make sure they are properly cut, filed and buffed. In the fall and spring, it is OK to wear OPAQUE tights or socks with your open toed shoes. If these is snow on the ground, NOT OK. NEVER OK, to wear nude pantyhose with your open toed shoes. GAWD, I HATE nude pantyhose!

So, ladies seriously, look at your feet before you leave the house. As I said before, your shoes should enhance your fashion. AND your footwear shouldn't take away from your fashion OR draw attention away from your assets like your curves or your face. And please stop wearing those rubber flip flops!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fashion fades only style remains.

OH, COCO Chanel, you always had it right my dear. Ok ladies, I have been out on the town recently and have found MANY, MANY fashion offenders and so it is time once again for JZZRGRL to send you lovely ladies some fashion reminders and some fashion updates!

1. Just because the Kardashians wear it, doesn't mean it is IN fashion or that you look good in it. Case in point, what is up with these shorts romper things that I have seen out there? Really ladies? I wore those when I was 5. This is NOT good fashion and especially not appropriate to wear out to a bar. Oh yeah and one of them had boots on with it...YUCK.

2. Ladies...if you are short, PLEASE do not wear those boots that only come up to your mid calves. A. they make you look shorter, B. it is spring, boots are passe. And they just makes you look frumpy. Especially those ones in that weird brown color.

3. Accessories are JUST as important as the outfit. FIRST and foremost, SHOES. I saw a marginally cute girl wearing a very cute champagne colored dress with sequins. She had on BLACK, FLAT, WOODEN BEADED sandals with it. Really, why would you ruin your outfit? I personally would have worn champagne or silver strappy heels with it, BUT if she prefers to wear low shoes, wear some satin mules or beaded kitten heels. SAVE the flat sandals for your shorts or capris.

4. Handbags DO count. If you are out at a club, don't bring your everyday hangbag. Why would you want to carry that big thing around? AND it usually doesn't look good with your going out outfit. When you go out, think MILK, Money, ID, Lipstick and Keys, that is all you need. You might want to add phone and credit card into that mix. You can pick up some SUPER cute small bags at Target or Kohls for this purpose, you only use the handbag for a few hours a weekend so WHO CARES if it is cheap!

5. ONCE again, I cannot say it enough times, wear the appropriate undergarments ladies. It is NOT OKAY to wear a thong with every single thing you own, sometimes, you need panties or boy shorts. AND, back fat hanging over your bra is NOT cute. Make sure to invest in a few different styles and colors of bras so that they go with all of your outfits. Ladies, REALLY, wear a bra (the girls should be up and out) and wear the appropriate underwear.

6. It is NEVER OK to wear skin tight shiny leggings. These went out with the leg warmers and thong leotards in the 80s. Yes, I SAW IT. She had on a short sweater and white sneakers. I am guessing she was not right in the head.

7. Outerwear. OK, it is spring, ladies, really, put the North Face coat and Uggs away. They can hibernate for the summer (well, you know my opinion on the Uggs, they should hibernate FOREVER, but...) You should owe at least one trench coat for cooler spring evenings or rain. And personally, on cooler spring or summer evenings, I make sure to take a cute sweater or wrap with me.

8. Rain boots...OK, ladies, I know that there are some SUPER CUTE wellies out there. Heck, I have two pairs in my hallway, one pair is a VERY cute pink Burberry. These boots don't look good with everything and I see people wearing them with EVERYTHING, they espeically don't look good with capris. If you have jeans or pants that look OK tucked into the wellies, that is fine, but be careful that the jeans don't bag at the knees. Hey, they might look cute with a casual skirt or dress, think Anthropologie or J. Crew.

So there you have it, my observations in the past two weeks...YIKES, that is a lot. The rules are basic...simply look in the mirror before you leave the house. GEEZ, I am so meticulous, I check like 4-5 times..I know OCD.

BTW, we are up to date number 4 with Mr. Harvard so stay tuned for more updates there. OH yeah, and several of the dead to me men have been popping back up, man, I have those boomerangers!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Bitter always tastes better with a good martini!

Ok, ladies, it has been a while since I have updated you on the craziness of the single ladies world or the fashion world. And let me tell you, I have been out a couple of times recently and I have A LOT of fashion fodder to make comments on, which you will see soon, BUT, I have decided to ditch the bitterness (as long as I can have a good martini with it) and I thought would change gears on you all and spread some positive light on our friends of the opposite sex.

So, surprising as it may seem, I am still single as you all know. I really haven't a decent string of dates in many years. AND I recently went through the heartache of being used for my "physical" attributes by a guy I really liked (Napa). So let's just say, I wasn't batting a 1000 (to use sports terminology that our gentlemen readers can follow). One might say, I have a reason to be bitter about men, but ALAS, I actually have been out twice with a really nice guy and so ladies seriously, I thought I would share some positive things about him and we will call him Harvard for obvious reasons...

Mr. Harvard is the cousin of a good friend of mine and has recently moved backed to CHI-TOWN from Manhattan. Younger man (33 years old, does that make me a cougar yet...since my sister suggested that is the route I should take? Thanks Bubba, really appreciate that on my BDAY), has a good job, lives in my area code, has good fashion and can carry on a decent conversation. Now, this guy is wicked smart (Harvard undergrad, Harvard Law) and is not condescending or arrogant, just a cool fun guy. BUT, ladies seriously, here is the best part...he has some manners and some class, I haven't seen that in dating prospects recently, so color me surprised! Here are a few highlights:

1. We met at a local establishment by my condo on a Saturday night. I, being a good Chicagoan, simply walked there. He had driven, but instead of driving me back to my place...he walked me home!
2. Opens car doors and pulls out chairs.
3. Asked for a 3rd date in the middle of the 2nd date...HUH?
4. Hasn't tried to get me naked or get into my condo yet or even kiss me yet, rest assured that will be corrected soon, the kissing part, ladies!.
5. Asks me questions about my business and wants to help me with my business, which shows forethought and interest in me...

So, ladies and gentlemen, I am not saying send me down the aisle, I really like the pace that this one is going...I am just saying, it is so nice to meet a polite, classy guy, who genuinely shows an interest in me (oh and BTW is pretty cute). I haven't had one of those since 2006 (yep, that's you, crazy redheaded Irish guy, I know you are reading this).

Here is my message, ladies seriously, you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find a prince! And I guess it is good to know that there are classy guys out there, you just have look for a long time. And even when if met a classy guy, he might not be the right guy, which is OK. BUT it is sure nice to find one every once in a while. Just think of it this way...dating after 30 is like shopping on the clearance rack, everything is either returned or damaged, but every once in a while when searching through that clearance rack, you find a BEAUTIFUL Prada handbag for 85% off with no damage...