Monday, July 19, 2010

Outdoor Music Festival is not code word for dress like a tart!

Oh boy, so we were at the Lilith Fair concert last weekend. Great concert with Kate Nash, Court Yard Hounds, Heart, Mary J. Blige and Sarah Maclachlan. AND the temperature was about 90 degrees out with 70% humidity, SO IT WAS HOT. Lord have mercy, there was a lot of bad fashion and just silliness going on out there. LADIES!

It is not OKAY to wear any of the following:

1. Cutoff shorts where the pockets hang below the shorts.
2. Fanny packs (ever in any fashion).
3. Dresses with no panties (COMMANDO is just gross in that environment).
4. ONLY a bikini (except at the beach or the pool).
5. Sundresses with no bra when you clearly need a bra.
6. A bikini top with shorts where you clearly have a muffin top.
7. Jeans skirts that barely cover your Va-jay-jay.
8. A satin maxi dress to an outdoor music festival.

It was a series of craziness I tell you. Ladies seriously, just because it is hot doesn't mean that you should abandon all sense of decency.

Plus a few more things:

1. Please don't smoke when you have 10 groups around you that might not want your smoke in their face (and that goes for the illegal substances as well).
2. If you come late to the show, don't walk in front of everyone and set up your blanket in the middle, there was plenty of room higher up on the lawn.
3. If you and your BF or GF are going to stand in front of everyone (making those on the lawn behind you stand so that they can see), don't be grinding on one another and kissing on each other. I am already ticked that you are making me stand, so I REALLY don't want to see that.

Ladies seriously, use your heads and take a look in the mirror. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, a little dignity please...

Dignity is like a perfume; those who use it are scarcely conscious of it. AH, I like that quote. OK, ladies and gentlemen, it is time that I talk about the bachelor and bachelorette party traditions. OH DEAR LORD! This is crazy business. I will start with the guys...

SO, let me get this straight, as you go off into marriage, your buddies think it is a good idea for you to get stinking drunk, possibly gamble your honeymoon or house downpayment away (if in Vegas or a casino) and stare at/dance/touch "exotic" dancers all night. What part of this says, hey buddy, congratulations you get to spend the rest of your life with the woman you are some boobs or poker chips? I mean, I know men are visual and like naked woman, but it just seems counterintuitive to me. Hey, if your buddy went through a bad divorce or break-up, YEP, makes sense to me. Hey, dude, there are other fish in the sea, and here is a naked one in front of you! But hey dude, you are getting married, here are women that you never get to sleep with, just seems unfair. And I have nothing against strip clubs, hey guys, go for it. And IF I HAD a man and he wanted to go, FINE, just make sure you come home to me, is all I ask. Gentlemen, pull yourself together and actually act like gentlemen!

SADLY, the ladies are worse, at least the guys don't wear female genitalia at their parties. Most bachelorette parties start with a "personal" shower where you give the bride to be lingerie, sex toys, and various other embarrassing items that you don't want granny, who is sitting in the back, to see. So then the "friends" dress the bride up in a vail, tiara, SUCK FOR BUCK t-shirt and a PENIS necklace to go out for the evening to get stinking drunk. WHAT? What part of "I am getting married" says, I need to wear a penis necklace or carry a penis waterbottle? Ladies, male genitalia is not attractive, WHY are you wearing it? Maybe I am TOO romantic about weddings...WAIT, have you met me? I am not romantic! But anyway, isn't a wedding supposed to be about marrying the love of your life? I just don't understand how going out and acting like a moron while wearing penises and letting guys suck on your shirt SCREAMS "I am a bride to be".

Ladies seriously, let's act with a little dignity. I am not saying don't go out and have a good time with friends to celebrate your pending nupitals, I am just saying don't wear penises and don't act like a total moron with a vail. Honestly, it makes all women look less classy. SO GO get married, have fun, but ALWAYS be a classy lady.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy

A good quote from Emerson! Hello ladies and gentlemen, sorry I have been so lax in getting my posts up, it has been Gamma Phi Beta land for several weeks. As I mentioned in my last post, I was headed to Convention and happily, I don't have much to report from the ladies seriously police. Most of our collegiate (and alumnae) women were dressed appropriately, some could use some lessons, but hey, even I make bad clothing decisions. SO I thought instead I would comment today on the general rudeness of Americans in public...yep, that's right I said Americans in general...

Here is my question, have we gotten SO committed to the internet, texting and emailing that we don't understand how to be kind to one another in person. Case in point, yesterday, I was at the post office buying stamps. I was coming out of the door and a woman (probably in her 60s) and her mother (probably in her 90s) were coming in. The 90 year old woman was moving slow, so I held the door open for both of them. DO YOU THINK either of them acknowledged me or thanked me? NOPE, not a word. Now, I would have held the door either way because it is the right thing to do, I am not fishing for compliments, but come on took these women a good minute or two to get through the door. I believe I did say you are welcome out loud as I closed the door.

So here is what I am saying, ladies seriously, please have some common courtesy when in public. Be cognizant of those around you and for crying out loud, have some manners! Here are some ladies seriously guidelines for being classy ladies in public:

1. If you are in the elevator and someone is clearly trying to catch it before the door closes, HIT THE OPEN DOOR button! Help someone out. And move to the side, if someone needs to get out on a floor ahead of you.

2. If you are coming or going into a store (or Starbucks in my case), hold the door open for the next person. And if someone does it for you, thank them!

3. In traffic, if someone lets you into a line of traffic, give them the thank you WAVE. BUT, don't cut someone off and wave....

4. If you are in line at the grocery store and you have 50+ items and the person behind you has TWO, let them go ahead of you. This happened to me recently at the store, I had two items and she had a cart full, she let me in front of nice. And I did thank her.

5. If you have a child and are shopping with a HUGE stroller, PLEASE don't block aisles or bump that stroller into others! AND if you are walking down the street, make sure you aren't taking up the ENTIRE sidewalk with your stroller.

6. If you are walking with a group, don't spread out across the entire sidewalk, so the people coming the other direction have to walk in the grass (for crying out loud, some rude person with a dog probably didn't pick up the poop and that person might step in it).

7. If you are in line somewhere (pick a store), don't talk LOUDLY on your cell phone. No one in line needs to hear your conversation with your mom about what you had for dinner last night.

8. If you are at a busy restaurant, and there are CLEARLY people waiting for tables, don't lallygag around getting extra coffee or drinks after dinner. Take it the bar next door, some people may still be waiting to eat.

9. If you are on a public bus or train, please give up your seat for an elderly person, disabled person or pregnant woman. If you are able bodied, you can stand for a few minutes until your stop.

10. If you are in a public place, PLEASE turn your iPOD down! I don't need to hear Barry Manilow cutting it up. If it is that loud, you are damaging your ear drums!

11. If you have strong opinions about religion, politics, adoption, etc, don't air those opinions until you know your audience well. My niece and nephew are adopted and you cannot imagine the RUDE things that are said to my sister and family.

OK, so you get it. Ladies seriously, think about how you would like to be treated and do the same for others (HMMMM, where have I hear that golden rule before?). I get so irritated when I encounter RUDE behavior in public. Honestly, if you are having a bad day, you don't need to take it out on the kind gentlemen who just held the elevator for you.

So that is all for now, ladies seriously, keep it classy! CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!