Saturday, March 26, 2011

Everyone needs a full length mirror...

Hello lades and gentlemen, greetings from lovely Scottsdale, AZ. Having a great time with 3 classy girls and we have decided to call our trip Abstinence in the Desert. And of course, everyone is keeping it classy. We went to a Cubs Spring Training game yesterday and of course there was a lot of bad fashion on the lawn. And so my girl Sam and I were discussing the topic of full length mirrors. And here it goes, we have decided that every single person in the world needs a full length mirror in their house. And ladies seriously, before you leave the house, please use it. It might avoid problems like this...

1. An older women wearing a bikini top with pleated khaki shorts at the Cubs Spring Training game, who was not the size or the age to wear it...think grey hair. AND she had her wristlet around her waist like a fanny pack (there is NEVER a time that a fanny pack is OK). If she had checked her full length mirror before leaving the house, she might have re-thought the outfit.

2. Or the woman wearing a full ON bikini at the game. First of all sweetie, this isn't the pool. And while she had a very nice body, perhaps a full length mirror might have made her realize she was going to a baseball game instead the beach.

3. OR the woman on the plane on Wednesday night/Thursday AM wearing a skin tight gold dress with glitter tights and teal Ferragamo flats...hmmm, the whole outfit was a disaster, but if she used a full length mirror she might realize that not only was the outfit ridiculous, it was not appropriate for a flight to Phoenix.

I could go on and on with the bad fashion that we have encountered in the last two days. But ladies (and gentlemen) seriously, this is the message today...invest in a full length mirror. You can find them at any WalMart for like $5. When you leave the house, USE IT, once, maybe twice. Ask yourself if you look appropriate for the place you are going, if you have dressed for your body type and have the appropriate undergarments on.

Well the ladies are off to shop today. So enjoy your weekend, use your full length mirror, eat, drink, be merry and keep it classy.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Less is More....

Wow, I think I have used that blog post title before, but it applies to so many things, we might as well re-use it. Less cleavage, less visible panty know the usual. Hello ladies and gentlemen, were you classy over the weekend? It was the official celebration weekend of St. Patricks Day in Chicago and yes, I saw three women dressed in FULL St. Patty's Day gear at 8 AM on Saturday AM ready for their full day of drinking. I texted one friend at 8 PM to see if he was around and he was in bed since he had been drinking since 7 AM. WOW, really...I guess I am too old, I just don't see the appeal of marathon drinking all day, I would need a nap!

Well, this specific less is more is related to you gentlemen out know I have specifically addressed my male readers recently. So I thought it was about time. Last time I mentioned a classy gentlemen, Hawkeye Time, well he actually sent me a gentlemen's fashion don't (HINT HINT, LT/MB and others, you need to start sending me ladies' fashion don'ts for better information on the blog). So here it is gentlemen...when it comes to men's jewelry LESS IS MORE.

Gentlemen seriously! Ladies DO NOT think it is hot when you wear a lot of jewelry. A watch, one ring and MAYBE a cool bracelet (although that is questionable) is probably enough. And yes that ring should be your wedding ring if you are married. I know, I know, you aren't any less married if you don't wear a ring, but come on, wearing your ring shows that you are committed. And classy ladies, like JZZRGRL, know not to hit on you.

So gentlemen, rule of thumb, only TWO pieces of jewelry at a time. Period...hey, if I have a BIG pair of earrings on, I don't wear a big necklace, bracelet and ring (ladies seriously, you might want to use that same rule of thumb). So idea applies. Now granted this picture is a big over the top, but you get the drift.

So Happy St. Patricks this holiday and no I am not Irish. Have a great week...stay classy.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The stages of dating by JZZRGRL

Hello ladies and gentlemen. It is Monday morning in Chicago and there is no snow on the ground. Were you classy ladies and gentlemen over the weekend? I certainly was a good lady, had some drinks and dinner with two of my best guy friends and got caught up at 2303. Very nice.

So I was out with one of my besties on Saturday night (love you DW). And we were talking about my various categories for men that I have dated and it got me to thinking about it. The funny thing was he added a category which I thought was very appropriate. SO here we go!

1. DEAD TO ME. Well, you all know and love this category. This is a special category reserved for those BOYS (not gentlemen) who I never care to speak to or see again in my life...Mr. Big, Napa, Dallas, the one that broke up with me on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, these are the ones that tend to be the boomerang boyfriends as well (no matter how many times you throw them away, they keep coming back). Well, we have a new contender for this special category...Harvard. Yes, you read right, remember back about a year ago, I had high hopes for this BOY. Well after several insulting text messages about the car I drive, I think he is ready for this category. And I quote "Sex in the City Brand Conscious Broke Consumers" drive your car. NICE.

2. DEAD TO my pants. Ok, this is reserved for those guys that I know and love, who are either ex-boyfriends that I don't hate or are good friends. There are plenty of GENTLEMEN in this catgeory...Houston, the 29 year old, Pancake Pants, the Big Haitian, Libertyville, DW, Levy, my ex-BF the Irish guy. This category is reserved for guys that I still want to be friends with, I just don't want to sleep with you. Sorry!

3. And the NEW category is DEAD TO my pants, but in an emergency you will do! :) I love this one. DW came up with this one. And yes, there are 2-3 of the gentlemen in the DEAD TO my pants category that could move here. But NO ONE from the first category will ever be allowed to move into this one. See, it's like a Monopoly game, do not pass, do not collect $100.

So there is a new gentlemen in the mix ladies and gentlemen. And this JZZRGRL really likes him. Let's just call him HT (Hawkeye Time) since he is a big college football fan and went to school there. I am not giving any more details, I don't want to jinx it. So have a FAB week ladies and gentlemen, hope my post gave you a little humor this week.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Prekop Really?

Ok, for those ladies seriously readers out there, it is an inside joke...but since it has been some time since I have posted and there are some gentlemen out there that wanted to see their names on my blog (although I told them that the names were hidden to protect the guilty, EH, boys will be boys), I thought I would write you all from sunny FL...yes, Orlando...yes, Disney Jail...yes, the humidity it about 200% outside....and YES, they do not sell gum in ANY store in Orlando. Why? You Ask?...because the Mouse (or as one friend calls him...the Rat) wouldn't like it and he is just that damn important. OH Orlando, little people everywhere, all hopped up on McDonalds and sugar waiting to see Buzz Lightyear or the Mouse or the Disney Princesses. Anyway, don't get me started on the parents and the kids issue in Orlando, not enough time or space and I would rant...

So once again, JZZRGRL is traveling for business. Still continue to be amazed at how few females there are in the technology world. We are in Disney Jail for a conference for the largest wireless carrier in the US (yes, I can hear you now). The carrier company actually has does have quite a few women in high level executive positions, but generally speaking the percentage is still around 85% Men/15% Women. BUT I MUST give out a ladies seriously shout out to the men and women of said wireless carrier company for their appropriate business attire. ALL SUITS, I cannot point to one man or woman who looked sloppy or inappropriate. SO GO YOU!

Ok, now for the gentlemen (Mr. Jobs, Mr. Bearcat (NOT STEELERS...BLECH), Mr. Rhode Island, Mr. A little over-served carrier sales guy and of course Hawkeye Time (who happens to be the 29 year old's boss, go figure) who kept me up until 1:45 AM (why do I never have enough sense to GO TO BED?)...Drum roll....ladies, what do you think? I should I bash on them? ....Actually, nah, these were gentlemen! Not a single one was inappropriate and all but one is married and not a single one bad mouthed his wife. And as for the fashion...I would give them a 6-7 in the casual bar wear attire. We had a lot of fun, it was silly and they complimented by shoes, so hey they can't be that bad, right? Boys will be boys and you can guess where the conversation went a few times, but hey all in good fun.

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, traveling for business can certainly be a GRIND, but if you take the time to enjoy each city ONE or TWO nights with drinks and dinner with fun, classy people, it can be less horrible. So this lady figures, life is short, enjoy the opportunities, drink, be merry and keep it classy...because you NEVER KNOW in this world when that guy at the bar that you met on a business trip will become your next boss (OR visa versa).

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!