Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Ladies Seriously 2009 Highlights and Lowlights

Well, it's not the David Letterman Top 10...but it my attempt at my 2009 review. So HERE we go...

- Being flirted with by Napa and finding out later the he had a long term girlfriend, via FB.
- Being broken up with on Valentine's Day.
- Finding out that I guy that I really liked (and thought he liked me) had a girl from another country living with him.
- Being stood up for a wedding.
- Discovering that the our economic recession meant I actually have to go back and get a corporate job.
- Being hit on by a married guy, whom I had considered a friend.
- Discovering I am more broke now than when I graduated from college...AH the joys of owning your our business.
- Making out with a guy at a party, coming home by myself, and having the guy contact me a week later to tell me he doesn't want a relationship.
- AND THE LAST, BUT THE VERY LOWEST!!! Watching a friend flirt with my date at a party, having my date contact her and then having the friend ask if it is OK if she contacts him.

- My fun girls weekend with my BF, Smiley, in Chicago.
- St. Mike's Block Party with Levy. I was at the drink ticket booth buying tickets, I asked the lady for $30 worth and she says "YOU KNOW THIS IS ONLY FOR ALCOHOL??" Hmm, what is she trying to say? Freddy Jones Band played and Oh yeah, we ended the night at Twin Anchors, YUM.
- The ENTIRE summer with the gorgeous redhead, Cubs game, U2 concert, White Sox game, PDP Concert at Sheffield Garden Walk, pub crawls, Ben Folds at Old St. Pats Block Party, Elton John/Billy Joel concert.
- Venetian Night and the 4th of July with the Varis...on a BOAT!
- Husker/Sooner Game in Nebraska with some of my favorite people.
- THREE times in Snobsdale, AZ with my family, relaxing by the pool drinking wine.
- Frontera Grill and Cibo Mato with the Coughs and Levy.
- Discovering that I have the most amazing friends and family in the world. And that without them, I would not have survived 2009.

Well, that's it, that's all...goodbye 2009, good riddance!! I am headed to Austin to visit my BF and her husband for NYE. We are going to hang and watch some serious college football. Ladies seriously, HAPPY NEW YEAR. Be safe, be merry, be classy and don't do anything I wouldn't do ;).

Until 2010...CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS.

Friday, December 25, 2009

I get by with a little help from my friends!

Great quote from the dearly departed John Lennon, they don't make song writers like that anymore. Merry Christmas, ladies! Lord only knows why I am up at 7 AM on Christmas Day! No I was not looking for what Santa left me under the tree, we did gifts last night (and there was no boyfriend wrapped up under the tree, sorry). My niece was very pleased with her first American Girl Doll, Chrissa and my nephew was very happy with his new iPOD. And while the weather outside in Nebraska is quite frightful (10 inches of snow), we had a lovely evening.

No, I think that I am still bothered by a situation that occurred this week with a friend (whom I have know since 1997), and I so I felt I had to share my thoughts. Previously, I told you briefly about a VERY cute guy I had met at a bar, and then I invited him to a party (at the redheads). There was some kissing with him and but I didn't hear from again and therefore, he is what? DEAD TO ME. However, I failed to tell you the story about the friend that went to the party with me. I had invited her to the party she is going through a tough divorce and I thought she needed some fun time. But she actually proceeded to flirt, talk to and take pictures with said cute guy that I had invited to the party all night long. To the point that me and several of my friends at the party were uncomfortable with the situation. I didn't say anything to her about it because she is going through a tough divorce and hey, it's just a guy that I met at a bar.

Well, this friend emailed me this week to tell me that cute guy had contacted her and was it OK if she responded (so she obviously gave him her phone number because let's face it a guy isn't ambitious enough to try and find her information). REALLY? Does a friend even have to ask the question? Shouldn't she be so disgusted with his lack of tack that she would tell him to pound sand? And shouldn't she think that if I wasn't interested in him (not anymore) that it is not OK? Needless to say, I shared my thoughts with my "friend" on her behavior and let her know that she was welcome to make whatever decision that she thinks is best with him. And the most upsetting thing about the whole situation is not that the guy picked my friend over me (WHO CARES, there are more where he came from), it is that a FRIEND treated me that way. Especially someone that I have known for a long time.

So it got me to thinking...why do we treat other women worse than we do men? Why are we willing to screw our friends over for a guy? And probably some guy that is not even in it for the long haul? In times of trouble, are those men around to pick up the pieces, HELL TO THE NO (well, my good guy friends would be)! And why is it OK to insult other women in front of that woman and a group of friends? Suggest that she won't have kids, ever get married or has bad fashion, is fat or has bad hair? Ladies seriously, we are constantly fighting the insults and things that men say to us...why should we have to fight and defend ourselves with women and especially those that we consider our friends?

And hey sometimes I am not the best friend in the world, I may be bad about calling or staying in contact with all of my friends (but they always a Christmas Card :)) But I would NEVER insult a friend or think it was OK to talk and flirt with a friends' date at a party. Ladies seriously, BE a LADY and don't insult or bad mouth another woman in a group. It makes you look bad and it is simply not classy. Be a good friend and treat your friends with care and class.

And so at Christmas time, be thankful for those wonderful friends out there, both women and men friends. To mine, thank you! I whole heart you all. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Don't Be Salty....BE SWEET!

Oh yes, it is that time, where everyone you meet is gruff, stressed out and ready to rip your head off! Trust me, I just went to Best Buy today and for the people there that are just now doing their holiday shopping, everything was not sunshine and rainbows today. People still have a lot to do and not enough time to do it, so the general public would rather punch you in the face rather than smile at you.

Case in point, Saturday AM, I am getting home from getting my lovely Venti Skim Latte from Starbucks (which BTW cost me $54 ($4 for the coffee) due to the parking ticket I got in front of the Dominick's, Merry EFFING Christmas from the City of Chicago. I MEAN REALLY, $50 for an expired meter, OR in my case, no pay at the meter, since I was there for 7 minutes!) So I am a little ticked off anyway, I go to pull into my spot behind my condo and a neighbor is sitting in her Explorer halfway pulled into her spot, just sitting there. So I wait a minute, then give her a little beep-beep and open my car door (cuz I can't pull into my spot). Now, keep in mind it has snowed a BIT, a little slush in the lot. I say "Can you pull forward just a little so I can get my car into my spot?" In a nice friendly, Christmasy tone. "NO, I CAN'T PULL FORWARD, I AM WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND TO PARK THE CAR!!!!" In a really nasty, bitchy tone. I say "OH....OK..." I then proceed to have to wait until her husband comes out about 3-5 minutes later and she hops out and her husband turns the wheel and pulls forward. Ok, so in the grand scheme of things, it was not a long time to way. But REALLY!!! You live in Chicago and you can't park your vehicle in your spot. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula (extra points if you can name the movie)! And then really, did she have to be a total BII-ATCH about her answer? The ladies seriously answer would have "You know what, I am so sorry, but I am little uneasy about pulling the car in, my husband is coming out shortly to pull it in for me." Would that have been SOOO hard?

Anywhoo, here is my point, everyone is so stressed and simply a grouchy pants right now, so ladies seriously, take the higher road, don't be sweet. Be the classy ladies that you are.
1. Thank those servers at restaurants and people working at retail stores (who are probably taking the brunt of the rude customers).
2. Wish people Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays when you can.
3. Hold the door open for people coming in and out, especially if they have a stroller or packages.
4. Offer your seat on the bus or train to someone.
5. Thank people verbally for gifts (and then be sure to follow up with a written note).

And if you have the means, pay it forward! Donate your time or your money...or your miles. I heard a story the other day of a friend who was talking to another friend that was not coming home for Christmas and had just broken up with a boyfriend. The one friend used some her miles to get the other friend a plane ticket to come home for two weeks. Isn't that nice?

Ladies and gentlemen! Happy Hanukkah (I know it is over, but some of my Jewish friends wait and celebrate it on Christmas anyway), Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year, Happy Chinese New Year! I think I got them all (probably missed Muslim, Hinduism and Buddhism). Have a happy, healthy, safe holiday. I am off to Nebraska tomorrow with the fabulous, 15 year old, diabetic princess cat in the seat next me. I should be back before the end of the year. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dead to me!

Well, ladies, as we surge towards the end of another year, I have decided it is time to clean out my closet. And NO, I am not talking about all of my FAB shoes, because HEY, why would I get rid of those, they never did anything to me, except make my feet hurt. And my mantra is fashion before function anyway, so it's not their fault. And they sleep in their cute little sleeping bags in my closet, not causing any problems. And NO, not my handbags, I LOVE THEM. And NO, I am not talking about my clothes either.

What does Fergie say...A Prada dress has never broke my heart before...So yes, I am talking about cleaning out the closet of those failed, maybe never really got off the ground relationships. Ladies seriously, you know the ones, those guys that you still keep in your phone or in the back of your mind as possibility for the future. Well, I have FOUR of them and YEP, you guessed it, DEAD TO ME!

One of them was previous relationship that ended shortly after it started. And, I always thought MAYBE we might go back, but after some recent events NOPE, DEAD TO ME! Another one is my Mr. Big and if you have read that blog post previously, you know the story...DEAD TO ME! Another one kind of started, but it was a long distance one. And SIGH, I still whole heart him, but I have to get past it, so yep DEAD TO ME! Lastly, and most recently, a very cute guy that doesn't bother to respond to text messages. And sure, my friends are sweet and try to tell me, maybe he didn't get the text...YEAH and maybe he is stuck under something heavy and can't get out. Bless you my dear friends, but let's be real, he is just being rude. I mean really, at least respond and lie to me, tell me you are busy, blah, blah, blah....DEAD TO ME!

The end of the year is new year's resolution time and a time to think about a new year and new beginnings. So ladies seriously, I know that there are many of you out there in a similar situation as mine. Stop hanging on to those toxic or phantom relationships. By doing that, you might open yourself up to meeting someone fabulous. If you don't, that is OK too, and just have fun with your friends, guys and girls. So repeat after me...DEAD TO ME! And yes, it might be a bit dramatic, but if he is dead, you won't "accidentally" text or call him in a drunken or lonely state. And if he is dead, he can't talk or text you!

And this is a good life lesson for all relationships. Ladies seriously, life is too short to hang on to toxic relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic. Let's all make a new year's resolution to rid ourselves of those relationships that suck the energy out of life. Choose people that give as much energy as you receive from them. Those are the solid, lasting ones. Thanks to my girls, Smiles and the redhead for that. LOVE YOU!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

If it smells like funk...

Thanks to one of my favorite bands, the Black Eyed Peas for lending me the title to the blog post today. And special thanks to one of my girlfriends for providing the blog subject today. Ok ladies seriously, how many times have you seen another lady on the street and her zipper is down or her skirt is tucked into her hose? Did you stop her to help her? If not, why not?

I remember this one time in band, just kidding. One time I was on a business trip in a skirt carrying my briefcase over my shoulder. My skirt was caught on my briefcase and I was literally flashing my bootie to all of the men behind me. And of course, you know the guys weren't saying anything. So this lovely woman came running up to me to tell me about the problem. I was embarrassed but glad I didn't flash the men behind ALL THE WAY down the escalator. So thank you to that lovely woman in Tampa, FL in 1994.

So here is my question, ladies seriously, why do we let other women walk around with these problems:
1. Something stuck her front teeth
2. Lipstick on her teeth
3. Zipper down or button undone (careful here..she might want it that way)
4. TP stuck to her shoe
Wouldn't you want to know? So if you see someone with one of these problems, be classy and help a sista out! She might be embarrassed, but she will be grateful! Trust me.

And so that leads to me the another subject...what do you do if your friend, sister, mom or colleague is stinky? And you know what I am saying, you can smell her and it is not a lovely Bath and Body Works scent. Sometimes it is hard to know if you personally smell and if you do, wouldn't you want to know? So, please help your sisters out, if they smell, tell them the problem and maybe suggest a different deodorant or laundry detergent. Sometimes it is as simple as changing on of those. And listen, I have had to have this conversation with a customer in one of my classes. It is hard.

And ok, yes, if it is body odor, maybe it is not as hard to discuss with someone. BUT WHAT IF, she has that feminine odor problem? You all know what I am talking about. What if your friend has a stinky VA-Jay-Jay? Do you say something? YES, PLEASE tell the poor woman, maybe she doesn't know. And if she does, maybe she doesn't know what to do about it. There are medical issues that cause this, maybe she needs to see a doctor. I mean, we are all women, why is it such a VOODOO subject to talk about that area? As hard as it might be, don't you think she should know? Again, help a sista out!!

So I guess once again, the simple rule undo others and you would have done to you. If you have lipstick on your teeth or have body odor, don't you want someone to tell you? So please pay it forward to our other classy ladies out there. Trust me it is much classier to say something than to ignore and let some poor woman be known as STINKY SALLY at work.

This has been a public service announcement from JZZRGRL. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Is it too early to be thinking about New Year's Resolutions?

Good afternoon ladies! It is only 18 days until Christmas and then NYE is a week after that. So, well, HECK, my Christmas shopping is done (don't hate me, but finished on 11/30 and did it ALL online this year, while drinking wine, that is the right way to shop). I have already had a great time at a great holiday party, thanks to the redhead and some good friends. And yes, there was some very nice making out at the party and later at home...Hee, Hee, yep by me with a very cute guy. I am reserving comments and judgment on him for the future. So stay tuned.

I am thinking it is time to make some New Year's resolutions. Why is it that we always do our New Year's resolutions and then end up giving up 2 months into the year? And then we just recycle them each year? I mean, I have had the same ones each year, I would love to lose 10 pounds, use my credit cards less, save more money and find a date. HMMMM, it has been like 5 years and they are still the same....

So here are a few hints. First of all, to those ladies (and gentlemen) that make a New Year's resolution to lose weight and take up all of the parking spaces, machines at the gym, or spaces in class AND then drop out after 2 months, please, let me save you the time and the money, don't come! I know as a fitness business owner, this does not make a lot of sense for me to say. But here is the deal, if you are really serious about losing weight or getting in shape, starting at a gym or class and then quitting after 2 months is NOT helping your cause. Fitness is a LIFESTYLE, you can't just expect to lose 20 pounds and keep it off in 2 months time. So here is my advice, if you are serious about losing weight, getting fit, you need to put more than 2 months time in at the gym. Plus, you will need to adjust your eating as well. Remember, only one silver bullet-Eat less, exercise more! On a side note, I keep waiting for them to find a procedure that will use a vacuum to suck some of the cellulite from my bootie to my chest. Wouldn't that be nice, redistribute without actual surgery. :)

Ok, what is the second most popular New Year's Resolution, spend less money or save more money as well. OH LORDY, this is a hard one. Trust me, I have had to try to do more with less for the last two years and I am REALLY bad at it. It takes some discipline. The best way I found to actually save money is to have it diverted from your paycheck to a savings account or automatically deposit a set amount to savings each month. Then earmark that savings account for something that you are working towards, a new house, a new car, NEW SHOES, etc. If you are disciplined enough to have a rainy day fund, more power to you. I have trouble with that one. As I said on the last resolution, it really is a lifestyle change and you have to approach it that way.

After that, I am not sure what comes next. For me, it is finding a date and I have never been very successful at that one. So if you have any suggestions for me, I would love to hear them because sadly each year I get older and older, more set in my ways. And I find that I am less likely to find someone that wants to put up with me and probably more accurately it is less likely that I will find someone that I actually would live with! My stance has always been that he might have to get his own place.

So ladies seriously, what ever your New Year's resolution is, if you really want to make a change, then you must make a commitment to change (wow, does this sound like a 12 Step Program?). Weight loss, saving money...these are not things that you can do for a few months and then just have it be fixed. These are lifestyle changes. And when we make those commitments and then fail, we feel even worse. So try not to set yourself up for failure. Enjoy the holidays, be safe, have fun and most of all BE CLASSY!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.