Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Yes, ladies, it is good to show an interest... in SPORTS

Oh YAY! It is my favorite time of year, college football is in full swing and my Huskers are rated number SIX...whoo hoo! Yes, I know there are ladies out there that are rolling their eyes because that means that their husands/BFs will be glued to the TV on Saturday and Sunday this fall once again. Well, ladies, I am here to tell you that it would probably do you some good to learn the basics of football, basketball and even baseball...maybe a little golf as well. If you live in New York, Illinois, Minnesota or Michigan, you need to know something about hockey as well. And if you already know something, like Smiles or Bubba, you can skip the rest of this blog post.

Well, ladies..are you asking WHY do I need to know about stoopid football? Well, I don't want you to be a stereotypical female, hate sports and get ticked at your significant other when he wants to watch them. AND there is something to be said for watching a game at a bar or going to a game...guess what there are LOTS of men at those events. If you are single, WHY NOT increased your odds AND if you are married, you could spend time with your husband watching the game. And if you have no interest in either of these, it does help with conversations with strangers, at parties and hey you might meet a new guy friend or girl friend.

So here are some of the basics you need to know:

1. Football is played on Saturday, not on Sunday. College athletes get paid WAY less than pros do to play ball...NO, I am just kidding, well...kind of kidding. Anyway, football, hot men in tight pants trying to tackle one another. Goal is get the ball into the opposing teams end zone. They get 4 "tries (downs)" to advance the ball 10 yards. If they fail to do that (they are losers..;), they have to punt the ball back to other team. Touchdown is worth 6 points. Field Goal is where the skinniest guy on the team kicks the ball through the uprights. Don't concern yourself with plays and steps. HEY, ladies, here is an idea, go to a bar and ask the cute guy about some of the finer points of the game...might lead to a date.

2. Basketball is only played through early April...anything after that is JUST silly. And the only real basketball is in these conferences...Big East and the ACC. Go Heels! Ok, once again, I am kidding, there is pro and college basketball as well. College basketball ends with March Madness. And if you get an opportunity, single ladies, go to Vegas for parts of March Madness, your odds of men to women is about 50 to 1. Ok, so the goal is to get the round ball through the hoop on the other team's court. One basket is worth 2 points, if a player shoots outside the arc, it is worth 3 points. If a player is hit while trying to shoot, the player gets to shoot from the line. Once again, don't worry about the penalties and what zone defense means...that is a little too advanced. And basketball is played when it is cold in Chicago, SO find a cozy bar and a cozy guy to discuss the game.

3. Baseball is the stop gap until football starts again and is generally pretty boring. If your team happens to play in the American League, at least you get to see more scoring. Of course, being a Cubs fan, I don't see very much scoring, hitting, good pitching...etc, etc. Anyway, baseball on TV is VERY boring, don't try to get into a game that way, you will just end up reading your Glamour magazine anyway. BUT if you can see a game live, that is fun, most baseball parks are really nice these days and you CAN drink wine while watching baseball. OK, object of the game, hit the round ball with the bat, run around 3 bases and return to home befoe getting tagged. If a player hits a ball out of the park, it is a homerun. The player has three "tries" (strikes) to try to hit the ball. There are balls and walks, but eh, you don't need to know about that either.

4. Golf...Sigh, yep, it is boring to watch on TV. My dad watches golf 24/7, so I know, I have experienced it. However, some of the bigger golf tournaments (meaning...the Masters) are fun to watch on TV. And those golfers are pretty hot. With golf, lowest score wins the game. The goal is to get the little white ball in the hole with as few strokes as possible (using a golf club, sometimes, I think I would have fewer strokes if I just THREW the ball). Anyway, there are lots of obstacles like water and sand traps that make it more difficult to get the hole close to the green. Watching a tournament in person is pretty fun...I am going this weekend to the BMW Championship in Chicago.

5. Hockey, OK I don't know crap about hockey. Here is what I do know, players skate on ice (scary!) and fight a lot. Goal is get the puck in the other team's goal (net). Players are big and hairy with lots of missing teeth. BUT I do live in Chicago and we are home to the Stanley Cup champs, the Blackhawks, so I did watch a few of the games this year and you know what? It was pretty exciting. There are a lot of penalties...high sticking, icing...I don't know high kicking. Anyway, I know enough to watch a game.

So there you have it ladies! JZZRGRL's basics on sports. There are Soccer or Tennis that can be interesting, but that is up to you (hot guys in both soccer and tennis). A basic knowledge will take you a long way and not just with the gentlemen, but with everyone. We live in America and we are obsessed with our ladies seriously, do yourself a favor, learn a you never know who you might met! OR you might find that you LOVE golf, who knows. Or horse racing (yes, it is considered a sport) and you could go the Kentucky Derby and wear a fabulous Phillip Treacy hat...Extra knowledge is always a good thing.


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