Saturday, July 17, 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, a little dignity please...

Dignity is like a perfume; those who use it are scarcely conscious of it. AH, I like that quote. OK, ladies and gentlemen, it is time that I talk about the bachelor and bachelorette party traditions. OH DEAR LORD! This is crazy business. I will start with the guys...

SO, let me get this straight, as you go off into marriage, your buddies think it is a good idea for you to get stinking drunk, possibly gamble your honeymoon or house downpayment away (if in Vegas or a casino) and stare at/dance/touch "exotic" dancers all night. What part of this says, hey buddy, congratulations you get to spend the rest of your life with the woman you are some boobs or poker chips? I mean, I know men are visual and like naked woman, but it just seems counterintuitive to me. Hey, if your buddy went through a bad divorce or break-up, YEP, makes sense to me. Hey, dude, there are other fish in the sea, and here is a naked one in front of you! But hey dude, you are getting married, here are women that you never get to sleep with, just seems unfair. And I have nothing against strip clubs, hey guys, go for it. And IF I HAD a man and he wanted to go, FINE, just make sure you come home to me, is all I ask. Gentlemen, pull yourself together and actually act like gentlemen!

SADLY, the ladies are worse, at least the guys don't wear female genitalia at their parties. Most bachelorette parties start with a "personal" shower where you give the bride to be lingerie, sex toys, and various other embarrassing items that you don't want granny, who is sitting in the back, to see. So then the "friends" dress the bride up in a vail, tiara, SUCK FOR BUCK t-shirt and a PENIS necklace to go out for the evening to get stinking drunk. WHAT? What part of "I am getting married" says, I need to wear a penis necklace or carry a penis waterbottle? Ladies, male genitalia is not attractive, WHY are you wearing it? Maybe I am TOO romantic about weddings...WAIT, have you met me? I am not romantic! But anyway, isn't a wedding supposed to be about marrying the love of your life? I just don't understand how going out and acting like a moron while wearing penises and letting guys suck on your shirt SCREAMS "I am a bride to be".

Ladies seriously, let's act with a little dignity. I am not saying don't go out and have a good time with friends to celebrate your pending nupitals, I am just saying don't wear penises and don't act like a total moron with a vail. Honestly, it makes all women look less classy. SO GO get married, have fun, but ALWAYS be a classy lady.


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