Monday, April 18, 2011

Spring has sprung...still doesn't mean tights can be pants....

Happy Spring Ladies! I trust that you are starting to clean out that closet and bringing out your spring and summer clothing. Keep in mind, you only need to add a few key pieces each season to refresh your wardrobe and you don't have to spend a lot of money to be cute, sassy and sexy this summer. Remember, undergarments are just as important as the clothing and for CRYING OUT LOUD, put those damn UGGS boots away. AND no rubber flip flops.

Ok, I am somewhat coming off my soapbox. I am still waiting for those pictures of ladies seriously violators out there in public. Try to take them without getting beat up...LT!! Well, I was out and about this weekend and thought I would tell you about some offenders:

1. The redhead told me about this one, which prompted the title. She experienced a young woman wearing sheer tights (as pants) with a short skirt that barely covered her butt cheeks. Sadly it is still too cold for spring in Chicago and therefore, she had a coat on but it was a short coat, and her "tights" were riding above her skirt and then she had a nice little peek of her underwear above there. Ladies seriously, no one wants to see your butt cheeks and your underwear in public. And if they do, it is someone who wants to get you naked...leave that for behind closed doors.

2. At a winery on Saturday afternoon, woman walks in wearing a short tight black skirt, with black hose (again, YUCK... ladies, pantihose are SOOOO 80's, let it go), and open toed 6 inch black patent shoes. CLEARLY not appropriate for getting afternoon drunk at a winery (yep, wine tasting is just a classy excuse to drink on a Saturday afternoon). Needless to say, a bit overdressed. Ladies seriously, let's double check our clothing choices to ensure they are appropriate for the venue.

3. AND THE WINNER!!! Saturday night, the redhead and I experienced it...larger woman, tall and probably could use some Jazzercise. Skin tight black leather pants, top that was gathered at the bottom so it sat her waist (read that her WHOO-WHOO and butt were on full display in those pants), 5 inch black heels and a FULL LENGTH FUR COAT! Now, it is in the 40s in Chicago right now, we are not in Antartica. We SOOO wanted to take a picture, but think we might have gotten rolled. OH dear lord, there were so many things wrong with this one...Ladies Seriously, no one in public should be showing their lower half in that type of leather pants. WHEW....that one was bad. And I personally loathe fur, but even if you support fur, you have to agree it is inappropriate at J. Alexanders Lounge on a Saturday night in April.

Well ladies and gentlemen, this classy lady is sniffing down a 40th birthday on Saturday. So I am taking my three best friends (me, myself and I) to Paris for 4 days. Yes, April in Paris. One of the most amazing, classy places in the world. I am super excited. My hope is to get some ladies seriously DO's and DON'Ts while there. I mean it is Paris... So more to come there.

And my other big news is that I have been out on a few dates with an amazing, wonderful, classy guy that ACTUALLY passes all of my requirements, and dear lord, there are a lot of them and a lot of silly, stupid ones. Ladies seriously, the guy knows how to dress, wears the right shoes, is as much of as smartie pants as me (frightening), knows that chivalry is not dead and most importantly "gets" this shoe/handbag crazy, wine, coffee and car snob, classy lady and treats her with respect. I am confident you will hear more about him in the upcoming posts, but let's just call him HT for right now and I will tell you that he is FABULOUS. This classy lady has been single for SOOO long, I truly cannot believe I met someone like him.

Happy Passover, Happy Easter to all of my religious friends! And to the rest of you, hope you will join me in the future for a drink in hell with the devil ;) CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

No comments:

Post a Comment