Why I love the city.... everyone could learn to live together better.

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.  It's been a little while since my last post.  In July, I was a bit busy and had the pleasure of participating in the sorority international convention.  It is always inspiring to visit, meet and listen to strong, classy ladies.  And of course, catching up with several of my favorite sorority friends.  Check out this lady from the Dove Real Women Campaign.

Of course, we are on the back slide of the summer here.  Shorts are still too short and many of our ladies are still showing too much skin, but....you know that is a soapbox subject that I written about many times.  SOOOO, on to something else....

So this past week, I had the opportunity to enjoy the fabulous city in which I live, Chicago.  Thursdays are my days off my FAB job, so I took some time to walk through Millennium Park and then go to the Art Institute for the Magritte exhibit (he was one weird dude).  I also read an article (probably on facebook, where I get most of my news...sadly) about how large populations of Democrats...aka liberals live in large urban areas.  For example, Illinois is considered to a blue state but that is only because the city of Chicago is liberal, the rest of the state is pretty decidedly conservative.  Now, you know this classy isn't going to make a statement on my opinion which political party is appropriate.  But as I enjoyed the city this week and thought about the article, it got me to think about why I love living in the city.

Is it because there is ALWAYS something to do?  Because there is constantly a new restaurant, concert, or event to attend?  Because I can shop at thrift stores and high end stores in the same day or because I can choose from the opera, symphony, musical theater or dance at any time?  Or is it really because I am constant exposed to new places, people and experiences?  I would say the biggest reason is the last one.

I am true believer in that your exposure to different people, places and experiences are those things that make you a well rounded awesome person.  In this country, we have so much hatred and intolerance and I believe that if we all opened our eyes and our hearts to different people, places and experiences, we would be a much a better country and society.  And in a city, you get an opportunity to do all of those things.  Plus you can get a cab to any one of those places, instead of having to drive.

NOW, I am not saying that everyone should move to the city...PLEASE don't, our traffic is bad enough.  But I think that no matter where you live, if you seek out new people, places and experiences, you will be a much more accepting individual.   And just because you are accepting person, doesn't mean you aren't entitled to your opinions, but as an accepting person, you can respect that everyone has a right to their own opinion and how they choose to live their life.

So for all of my people that live in the cities here are some suggestions to take advantage of the awesome place that you live:

1. Take advantage of all that you can.  Don't poo-poo an event or restaurant just because it is new or different.
2. Be open to meeting new people especially those outside of your own ethnicity, sexual orientation, religious beliefs.  You can learn from all of them.
3. Smile, open doors for people, be helpful to those tourists (as much as they drive us insane), give up your seat on the train or bus when appropriate (THIS means YOU...gentlemen.  This past week I had a lovely gentleman give me his seat...THANK YOU sir).
4. Just generally be courteous.

So there is ladies and gentlemen seriously, experiencing new things makes you a classier, more well rounded person.  And the travel agent in me HAS to say this, if you have the money and the time, traveling outside the US really does broaden your horizons.  The good ol' US of A is still a great place to live.

So one last bit of news, there is a new man in my life.  Really, really good guy!  We have been having a great time, he loves to travel just as much as I do.  More to come on this one.

....Keep your chin, heels and standards high....

BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!

Ladies and gentlemen....show a little respect for your country!

Happy 4th of July ladies and gentlemen.  Yep, we are half way through the summer ALREADY.  And it is time again to celebrate our independence day.  You will be happy to know that I took a highly scientific facebook quiz today to test my knowledge of American history and they considered me a true patriot.  Apparently I paid attention during high school social studies class.....or maybe it is just because I watched the mini series on John Adams.

So recently I went to Blues Fest here in Chicago in Grant Park.  I had an opportunity to hear Aaron Neville, who was great by the way.  Before the show started, they had a woman sing the national anthem.  NOW, I know you all know that when someone sings the national anthem, you are supposed to stand up and take your hat off right?  Well let me tell you about the woman I observed during the national anthem.  First of all, she was a good 75-100 pounds overweight.  Her chair was struggling. She was by herself, and when they started to sing, she didn't even attempt to stand up and continued to EAT during the entire anthem.  HUH?  Ladies and gentlemen seriously, I don't care if you don't like our president, our government, our policies, etc.  Your utter disrespect for our national anthem is thumbing your nose at our founding fathers, our soldiers and all of the people that have died or are working tirelessly to give you the freedom to SIT and eat during the national anthem.  Get your LARGE bootie out of the chair and show some respect.

Additionally, the woman in front of me allowed her children to run in circles around her blanket during the national anthem.  Now, I understand they are kids, but lady, please....tell them to settle down and be quiet.  NEVER too early to teach proper respect.

OH and people of Chicago, when they sing the national anthem ANYWHERE outside the United Center and the Blackhawks are NOT playing, please put your hands down, don't scream while it is being sung.  For crying out loud, Blues Fest is not a sporting event, calm down.

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, our independence day is around the corner.  And in light of the holiday I thought this was an appropriate topic.  Show some respect for our country.  We may have our issues in this country, but it is still one of the greatest places in the world to live.  And by respecting our national anthem and our flag, you are at minimum respecting our armed forces, our founding fathers and the principles upon which our country was founded.

OH yeah, and gentlemen seriously (I know it is guys because women would never do this), stop lighting off those DAMN firecrackers.  They are stupid and loud.  And you might blow your finger off. My dog gets scared of them and I lay awake every 4th of July listening to those crazy things vibrate in the alleys in Chicago.  Grow up.  Firecrackers do not SAY hey Happy 4th of July America...they SAY, F off to everyone who lives in a 10 block radius.

ONE LAST thing....World Cup soccer is in full swing.  And the US team is doing well.  I am thoroughly impressed with the support our nation is giving to our team, especially since most people have never watched a soccer game in their life.  If you are not a soccer fan, that is fine, don't watch the games, watch the games, I don't really care.... BUT be respectful of the sport, the team and the fans, please.  The rest of the world has accepted soccer as a sport for A LOT longer than we have.  Be happy that our team USA is competing on a world level.

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, have a wonderful 4th of July holiday.  Eat, drink, be merry and stay classy!

....keep your heels, chin and standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!

Conscientious Parents ....Don't fret, you aren't the ones being obnoxious!

Happy Saturday to all the classy ladies and gentlemen out there!  In Chi, it is a lovely day and my dog has had me up since 4:30 AM.  I don't know how she KNOWS when I don't have to teach or go to work early, but those are the days she wants to get up and play.  Good times, that furry alarm clock.  It is getting to FINALLY be festival season in Chicago, so I am convinced that bad fashion and bad behavior will once again be upon us.  So stay tuned and stay classy.

SO this week I had lunch with a friend.  You know my fab job lets me have one day off a week, and my friend is a stay at home mom, so we had a lovely lunch OUTSIDE of Lincoln Park Zoo (you know I don't want to go inside...animal lovers UNITE).  I have been friends with the lady since 1992...yes, that is right, back in college when I had BIG hair.  She recently had her first baby, cute little boy.  Now, for those of you who know me, I am not enamored with children.  I like them well enough, yes, I will hold your baby and talk to you about breast feeding.  My niece and nephew are awesome.  Cooper Brashaw...fantastic.  Noelle and Colin Wick...A-OK.  Erica and Ryan Epstein...YEP.  The Coughlin Clan...YEP.  So my message is not coming from a kid hater.

So while we were having lunch, my friend's baby started to get a little fussy.  You know, he is a baby and they do that sometimes.  He wasn't screaming, he was just fussing.  We were at an outside restaurant and no one could even really hear him.  But my friend was so stressed out and kept apologizing to me for it.  He was fine....I honestly felt so bad for her.

I have seen my sister and brother in law stress out because my niece or nephew are acting up in a restaurant or public place.  And every time it happens, one of them remove the child from the situation and it is fine.

So here is my classy message to all parents out there, coming from a classy single lady who will probably never be a mom to human children.  Kids cry....sometimes they scream....and sometimes they act badly in public.  I get it...that's what kids do (although I was such a perfect child, I am sure I NEVER did that!  Cue the sarcastic music)  And if I can honestly see that the parent is doing everything they can to get the kid to calm down or stop crying.  So be it, I understand.  DON'T STRESS!!  I have seen those poor parents on a plane whose child is SCREAMING because his ears hurt.  And the parents are almost as upset as the child.  Again, it stinks, but I get it.

HERE is where I have the problem....your kid is screaming, running around and being disruptive and you are on the phone, talking to someone else, ignoring your child or laughing at your child because it is funny.  That it not a classy way to be a parent.   Be aware of those around you.  Don't let your kid kick the back of my seat in an airplane and think it is just OK and not try to stop it.  Don't have your kid's DVD player playing with no headphones.

So parents, don't stress....I get it!  If your child is acting up, do what you can and move on...And how funny it is that while I was writing this post, a reminder popped up on my computer that tomorrow is Father's Day!  So this parenting message is coupled with a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to our dads out there.  And especially to mine, SDB...you are the best.

Enjoy your weekend classy parents and single people everywhere!

....keep your chins, heels and standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Self reflection and minor adjustments might be the classy thing you need

Ok, ladies and gentlemen seriously, it has been WAA-AY too long with no posting from JZZRGRL.  My apologies, I have been traveling and have really needed some inspiration for some posting.  This is not to say that I haven't seen ladies AND gentlemen not presenting themselves inappropriately or not being classy.  But sometimes I am a broken record with my posts.

So I think it was time for me to do turn that mirror around on myself and make sure that I am living the classy life that I expect everyone else do live.  Checklist:

1.  Appropriate bra and panties - CHECK
2.  Girls, are they appropriately covered and up and out - CHECK
3.  Dressing appropriate for body type and age - CHECK
4.  Generally being pleasant and treating others with respect - CHECK
5.  Being a good pet parent - CHECK

Now, this classy lady is a self proclaimed conflict avoider.  I just like everyone to be happy and get along.  And in the past, I haven't stood up for myself or expressed my feelings when I probably should have.  Don't get me wrong, you have to pick your battles and some things are better left unsaid.  But I have been trying to be better about speaking about things that upset me.  BOY, it has been a struggle, especially when it means you have to have those conversations with your boss and/or your family.  And in some incidences, my thoughts were upsetting to the other people and their reaction was hurtful or difficult for me.  But I have to say that I am fairly proud of myself for actually saying something.  Even my mom noticed and said she was proud of me.   So I will continue the battle, as constantly improving is also a classy move.

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, keep yourself in check, self reflection is good.  What you are putting out to others could be hurting you or your other relationships.  Self awareness is a good thing and being classy means knowing what your actions and words mean to others.

So there is the deep philosophical post for the summer...feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.  ;) Keep it classy ladies and gentlemen.

....keep your heels, chin and standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!

Ladies and gentlemen seriously...you are not entitled.

Good morning ladies and gentlemen!  Happy spring and happy March Madness.  I hope that you are enjoying both.  I love this time of year...when you go to a bar and some random chick (who probably didn't even know her alma mater was in the tourney) is cheering VERY LOUDLY in your ear for her Dayton Flyers to beat the Cuse (at least she knew when her team was on defense).   Nice work Flyers...BUT EYE ROLL to the loud chick behind me.

So last weekend I had an experience that I thought I needed to share.  I was visiting the GORGE blonde (don't like to be home alone all the time...recently single chick that I am).  I got home about midnight.  I have lived in my condo for 11 years, I own it, which means I OWN the parking space behind my place.  I got home to find that someone who was a patron at the bar next door had parked in my spot.  This is about the 3rd time this has happened in the last year and I wasn't going to take it this time.  I went next door, told the bouncer that I was calling a towing company.  They announced it in the bar.  In the meantime, I bring my sweet Ruby Caroline down for her final walk.  The owner of the car comes around the corner and YELLS at me for having an attitude about parking in my spot and further threatens to slash my tires.  CHARMING.  Apparently she was entitled to park in my space...because she got there first...not sure.

This attitude leads to a bigger topic that many of my friends and I have discussed in the past few years.  There is an alarming attitude and trend that has emerged with mostly the younger generation out there today.  This entitlement attitude!  No longer do our recent college grads believe that they have to pay their dues and work their way up in an organization.  They are entitled to a $60K salary, three weeks vacation, two hour lunches and not to have to file and make coffee.  And if they don't get it, the parents will call work to ensure that their child gets what they deserve.  Apparently graduating from a 4 year college gets you that now...

And this is just one example.  Unfortunately, the parents are making the situation worse.  I have had to deal with parents in my sorority experience that expect special treatment for their child just because they yell at you and call you names.  They are calling them snow plow parents.

Ladies and gentlemen, being born doesn't entitle you to anything in this world.  Respect and trust are earned not given.  And yep, you have to earn your way in this world.  Last time I checked, people like fellow Nebraskan Warren Buffet, didn't become the richest man in the world because his mom called his first job to make sure he was being treated appropriately.  He worked his ASS off, took some very hard knocks and moved on from there.  My mom and dad never graduated from college...my dad retired as the president of a bank and my mom is a well respected fundraising guru.  And you know what they taught me, work your ass off and you will get what you want.  And let me tell you when I graduated from college, they said, congrats...now get your own place and pay your own car insurance.  And they did me a favor, taught me to depend on ME and no one else.  (Trust me, they have helped me out when I needed it, that is what it means to be great parents).

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, show some respect.  You have to work for what you want, you don't just get it because you want it.  Show some respect when you are clearly in the wrong, apologize and make it right.  Follow the rules, don't assume that they don't apply to you because you are "different" or "special".  And don't get me wrong, people need help and support from time to time and they should get it when needed.  I am simply tired of this entitlement attitude.

So there is my soap box for the week.  Have fun, be safe...especially those going on Spring Break.  Remember anything you post on the internet exists FOREVER.  :)

....keep your heels, chin and standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Ladies and Gentlemen Seriously...I know how to pick them!

Happy Saturday to one and all.  I trust that you all are keeping it classy and looking forward to spring.  I recently had a chance to shop at a new outlet mall here in Chicago...AMAZING.  So I am looking forward to Spring so I can wear some of new hot clothes, but also since the weather in Chicago has been CRAP since December, we are ready for some warm weather here.

Well this past week I had an experience that NO ONE should ever have.  But before I tell you about it, I thought I would reflect on the hall of shame of ex-boyfriends and relationships.  BOY, I really know how to them...here are some of the highlights....

1. Getting broke up with on Valentine's Day.
2. Getting my heart broken and being broke up with on EMAIL.
3. Finding out that the guy that I thought I was dating was engaged to someone else at a party at his house.
4. Getting an email from a guy's wife (YES...I didn't know he was married).
5. Getting an email from a guy telling me he didn't want a relationship after we went out ONCE .... not sure I remember asking for one.

But the TROPHY winner of them all...Getting a phone call from a woman who has been sleeping with your boyfriend.  The boyfriend whom you were still dating after almost 2 years, the boyfriend that you let live with you for 16 months basically rent free (he had since moved out because I told him to).  And apparently she has been sleeping with him for 4 months.  So I did what I should, changes the locks, blocked his numbers, called him every name in the book and told him I never wanted to speak to him.  AND the crazy thing is that in every angry email and phone call he has placed to me since then, he never ONCE has apologized.  It is always been my fault for not speaking to him and her fault for being obsessed with him.  WOW!  So buh-bye to RCH Jr.

It did get me to thinking about the common denominator in all of this and that would be yours truly.  It sure makes me reflect on what this classy female is putting out there, do I just not know how to pick them?  Or am I not reading the signs from He's Just Not That Into You...I am not sure, but don't worry about me, I have my sweet little Ruby Caroline to keep me company.  Today I am getting my toes and eyelashes done...having lunch with friends, I will pick myself up and forge ahead as any classy, intelligent female would.

And so here is my message to the gentlemen out there, don't cheat on your girl, just break up with her.  Have some class in how you break with her as well.  Seriously...this email and text message crap is so childish, grow up and tell her you just don't want to see her anymore.

And here is my message to the ladies like me out there... Yep, those gentlemen can be JERKS, but best to be classy and move on.  Rest assured, some crazy, classy gentleman out there will want to put up with your crazy, classy...pain in the butt self eventually.

....keep your heels, chin and standards high....

BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!

Character is often illustrated by how one treats others

Happy Saturday ladies and gentlemen seriously!  It's the weekend in Chicago and we AGAIN are preparing for another 1-3 inches of snow.  I guess we are paying for the last two NICE winters that we have had.  So far we have gotten 28.1 inches of snow and we have not gotten above freezing in 9 days running.  Good thing Chicago is fun in the summer.

Ruby Caroline has been with me for about a month now.  And she is a very good girl.  Basically potty trained and learning that mom is in charge and when I say NO, I mean it.  :)  She is learning how to be a classy lady (well as classy as a dog who pees outside can be).

Being out and about in Chicago allows me to observe a lot of behavior.  And boy let me tell you, people suck, there are a lot of jerky people out there.  And it got me to thinking about being classy and having character.  And I have to say, observing how people treat others is a true show of character in my book.  The following behaviors I have observed in the last several years and I contend that these people don't have a lot of character:

1. People that sit on the bus or train and purposely take up two seats or put their bag on the seat next to them and let other people stand.  OR let elderly people or pregnant women stand because they are too focused on Candy Crush.
2. People who literally let the door slam in another person's face when entering a Starbucks.
3. People who ignore a mother or father trying to get their stroller in and out of a door or up and down stairs.
4. Those same mothers or fathers who ram their stroller into people's feet because they are too busy on the phone instead of paying attention to their kid.
5. People who cut in line, cut people off and just generally act like their time is more important than others.

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, there are 313 million people living in the US.  We are all in this together, can we treat each other with respect?  Please?  Smile, hold open doors, allow people to sit on public transportation.  

So these are small things that we can do to show class and character.  But let me tell you, I have absolutely NO tolerance for people that are disrespectful to their parents or their animals.  I am a VERY lucky lady and have two of the greatest parents in the entire world.  They have never done anything but support me and love me.  I had a bit of a Beaver Cleaver family upbringing.  But even if you didn't have that type of family, you still need to respect the people that brought you up.  Period.

Animals.  OH BOY, I really get upset with those people that have dogs and crate them for up to 12+ hours because they are out at happy hour.  GO home, take care of your animal.  Don't have a 150 pound dog in an 400 square foot apartment, it's unfair.  I am not saying completely stay home, the dog is still the dog, but have some compassion.

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, karma is a BITCH and what you put out there is probably what you will get in return.  Respect your fellow man, your parents and your animal....you might just get the respect you want.

The 6th Annual Anti-Valentine's Day pub crawl is upon us once again.  It looks like we have might our largest crowd ever.  Sounds like a perfect V-DAY!  Enjoy everyone.

....Keep your heels, chin and standards high....

BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!