Thursday, October 1, 2009

Have we created social morons?

Ok, so I was just chatting with a girlfriend and she was telling me stories about a guy that she "sort of" likes....they have hung out a few times, know each other, have had flirty text messages, etc. And he keeps "kind of" asking her to do stuff, but is like last minute or it is something like...hey, I am going to the bar to hang with my friends, do you want to come with? WHAT? Now, this is a good looking guy who has an important job and I am sure has to speak to people everyday, how come he can't say, hey, I would like to hang out, do you want to get dinner and then hang with my friends?? Have men forgotten how to ask women out? Are we such a casual society that men and women don't do the dinner and a movie anymore? AM I REALLY OLD and don't get it? Probably....

I have been told that men and women in college don't even date anymore, they just TXT and hook up. GEEZ, that sounds like it could get old after a while. What happens when these men and women graduate and go into the real world? How do they meet their future partner? OH, I know, online dating, which has worked for many people, but generally, the woman and the man "fabricate" the truth about themselves and then are disappointed when they actually meet in person. Is this why our divorce rate continues to skyrocket? We marry people with whom we cannot communicate and then get 3-10 years down the road and realize we married the wrong person?

I believe that our digital society: email, TXT messages, and facebook have taken away our face to face conversation and therefore, we have lost the ability to have a conversation and have become social morons. Thinking about this makes me even more thankful that our Greek system has recruitment so that at least many of our sorority women are getting conversation skills training in college!

And, men think they have it easy, they can "communicate" with women over TXT and we continue to let it go on. Ladies seriously, do you find it more and more difficult to make conversation with men? Well, as sad as it is, we might have to help our socially challenged men (and keep in mind this can apply to our girlfriends as well).

1. Does he have trouble asking you out? Help him, clarify, do you mean that you want me to come and hang out with you? Can we maybe go have dinner beforehand and not just hook up? Keep in mind, you may have to remind him a few times, sometimes we are not dealing with the sharpest knives in the drawer! ;)

2. Does he only communicate over TXT message? If so, maybe gently remind him to call you or that you can talk about it when you see him. Or if gently doesn't work, possibly hit him over the head with HIS Blackberry (don't hurt yours). OH yeah and don't answer his TXT messages if you want him to talk to you.

3. Does he have a confrontation that needs to be made with a family member or with you and decides to send an email instead? No, those types of conversations have to be made in person. And I know they are hard, it is easier to send an email.

So maybe, we shouldn't write these men off just yet, but help them along the way. But ladies seriously, if you try to help him and he doesn't want help or show some signs of improvement in the conversation area, then he might just be a social moron and needs to be kicked to the curb.

Ladies seriously, help yourself, your friends and your men, keep face to face conversation alive. Make the guys ask you out in person or at minimum on the phone. As I sign off, I am reminded that my parent's 39th wedding anniversary is coming up this month. Do you think that they could have survived this long if they didn't communicate with one another? AND, my dad is not SO technically saavy (well neither is mom), so if he would have had to TXT my mom to ask her out, it wouldn't have happened! Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, thanks for being great parents and showing everyone how to have a successful marriage after all of these years!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

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