Monday, January 4, 2010

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you...

Happy New Year ladies! I trust that you were responsible, classy ladies on NYE and are now ready to get back to reality. Man, does it stink? OR, is it nice to get back into a normal life? I think my OCD would pick the latter, can't wait to get the tree out of the house and get the decorations put away so my office is neat and orderly again. So I was struck by a conversation with the redhead yesterday and she says to me...Oh no, I smell a ladiesseriously post! And guess what, she was right.

So here is the deal, you know I have written several times about the fact that I believe the electronic age is creating social morons out there. How many times do you have a friend or acquaintance email or text rather than picking up the phone? Many times, right? My sister works with youth at her church (high school age) and she said all they do is text each other. She will call one of them and they won't answer, but she can send a text 5 minutes later and the person will respond immediately. But I have also noticed that since people don't actually talk to other people that they know, they are also losing the ability to get to know new people.

I am talking the art of conversation and learning about someone. Kids and adults today are losing the ability to understand how to get to know someone. So I really don't want us to lose this ability, because meeting new people is one of the things that keeps life fresh and exciting. Now, I am NO expert on this, but in the hopes that we try to be more conversational, here are my ideas on the subject.

So say you meet a guy at a bar, you think he is cute. How do you break the ice? What types of questions do you ask? I usually start with Hi, my name is Jzzrgrl. No pick up lines, please, they are cheesy and silly. Then you can proceed with any of the following questions, assuming that he is sending the "I would like to talk to you" vibes.

1. Where are you from?
2. Where did you go to school (undergrad, grad, whatever)
3. Where do you live?
4. Do you have siblings? Nieces, nephews, etc.

Then, ladies and gentlemen, you take these answers on expand on them to get to know the person. IE. Where did you go to school? Let's say the answer is: The University of Illinois. And say Jzzrgrl is having the conversation...this is how I would respond, oh really, I love that campus at Champaign, I used to manage the Gamma Phi Beta chapter there and had a chance to visit a lot. Next question: Where did you live on campus? Or are you an Illini fan in sports? And then go from there. SEE, the art of conversation is getting to know someone so that you can find common ground. And once you find commonalities, you can have a more in depth conversation. The idea is the give and take. It is usually better to stay with neutralish subjects and not hop into politics or religion right away.

Not that difficult, right? It is amazing how many ladies and gentlemen don't get understand it or choose not to participate. And guys are the worst! Come on people, come together! In fact, I am giving you a homework assignment, try to get to know someone new in the next 2-3 weeks, test out the ladies seriously technique. You have so many chances everyday to meet new people, even if it as easy as chatting with the person behind you in line at the store. Go forth, be social and meet new people!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

1 comment:

  1. Although those countless hours spent practicing recruitment conversation were completely excruciating at the time, they have definitely payed off in the long run! I agree that it's more frequent than not that I end up with an "awkward encounter" from what started as a conversation with great potential. Great tips! I will defintiely do my homework this week!