I feel bad enough about myself...

Hello ladies and gentlemen!  Yep, it is once again that time where I impart my glorious wisdom to the universe.  You can all stop gagging now.  :)  It is fall and yep, it is almost time to let those pretty painted toenails go into hiding.  But don't forget about your tootsies in the winter, ladies AND gentlemen (especially you GUYS), they still need pedis and love during the winter months.  So we have had a rash of fabulous weather here in Chicago, so everyone is loving life right about now.

This past weekend I had an opportunity to visit a Gamma Phi collegiate chapter in Northern California.  The population of this particular campus is pretty diverse, think lots of Black, Asian and Indian decent (and plain white people like me ;) ladies on campus and who are equally represented in our chapter.  And I am talking some DROP DEAD gorgeous ladies.  And I have to tell you that I was SO disheartened to hear from these ladies and the other fraternity men and sorority women on that campus thought they were the "ugly" chapter...why?  Because they don't fit the stereotype of the blonde California girl.  Seriously...ladies and gentlemen, racism is alive and well all over the country (I know you know this but it really upsets me when it is hurting the self esteem of young beautiful college women).

As my other sorority sisters and I were discussing this issue (and of course other issues like...UM...men), a very wise sister said this..."I can make myself feel bad enough on any given day, I don't need someone else who does it for me"  Couldn't have said it better myself.  So ladies and gentlemen, here it is, DO NOT waste your time spending time with people that make you feel bad.  This goes for friends, acquaintances, boyfriends, girlfriends and FAMILY.  Life is too short.  DO NOT let others define how you feel about yourself.

It just lead me back to thinking about the gorgeous ladies in our chapter who think they are ugly because others say you are.  NOPE...I don't care where you come from, your interests, your intelligence, your body type...everyone has something to contribute.  BE proud, follow the simply ladiesseriously.com rules on dressing for your body type and your age and you are golden.  I wish I could wave my magic wand on these college ladies and give them all confidence and self esteem.

So here is the deal, surrounding yourself with people that make you feel good about your self is the classy way to live your life.  So examine those relationships and groups of people ladies and gentlemen seriously!

Happy FALL!

....Keep your chin, heels and standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

THINK Before you Speak!

Hello ladies and gentlemen.  Happy September.  I trust that you are all enjoying being in the full swing of football season (whether you like football on Saturday or Sunday...me personally, I like football on Saturday, Go Big Red).  And that you are having fun, dressing appropriately and keeping it classy.

So this week, a sorority sister of mine posted a link about things not to say to a childfree woman (thanks Melanie).  And it got me to thinking about what people say to other people about children.  Ladies and gentlemen seriously, children are a VERY personal choice and it is not our place to pass judgment on anyone regarding those choices.  For example...

If you are a couple or a woman that has no children, that is your choice.  Perhaps medically you are not able to have children and have decided that adoption or surrogacy is not for you.  OR you just don't want them.  Having someone say things to you like when are you having children is probably pretty insensitive or none of their business.

If you are a married couple with adopted children or a single parent with adopted children (or a gay couple that can't be called married (that is a topic for another blog post) with adopted children)...it is NOT ok for people to say why don't you just have kids of your own.  Really?  what makes the adopted children not their OWN.  Crazy I know.

If you are a couple or a single woman who chooses to use fertility treatments to have children, that is your choice.  And it is simply NOT OK for people say things like I don't understand why you don't try harder.  GEEZ.

Ladies and gentlemen seriously, no matter what your opinion or religious belief is regarding children, having them, adopting them or not having them, it NOT classy for you to say RUDE things to them or be insensitive.  It is NONE of your business.  Support your friends and family in whatever decision they make, as it was the right one for them.  So the bottom line is watch what you say.

Everything is status quo here with JZZRGRL...still teaching class, loving my job, living with RCH Jr, volunteering for Gamma Phi Beta.  My awesome parents are coming into town at the end of September.  And I think I told you all this, I am heading to Tahiti in October.

That's all for today.  ....keep your chin, standards and heels high...

BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Twerking? Really ladies?

Hello ladies and gentlemen!  Hope all is well with all of you.  School is getting back in the swing and all of the little people are heading back.  And of course, the big little people as well are heading back to college.

So this week, one of my friend's husbands wanted to know my opinion of Miley's performance on the VMAs, which of course, is what everyone is talking about, right?  Honestly, ladies and gentlemen, I haven't watched, I am sure I would be disappointed.  Apparently, grinding is now twerking...who knew?

So I guess my statement or opinion on this whole thing is that I think it is sad that our young women in this world think that being trashy and acting inappropriately makes you sexy.  Not sure that Miley is overly worried about that...as everyone is talking about her and she has a new album coming out.  But I am talking mostly about our young ladies, college age to 30s.  These ladies think that girls gone wild, getting crazy drunk and acting generally trashy makes them sexy and makes men want to talk to them.  Yes, men talk to them, but not for the right reasons.

Ladies, being sexy is all about your attitude, not about how trashy you can be.  Ask a man who he thinks is sexy and he will tell you people like Eva Mendes.  Does she act trashy?  Nope, she is a confident, beautiful woman, who dresses appropriately, doesn't have her bootie or boobies out, and she acts appropriately.  Ladies seriously, acting trashy attracts the wrong type of people to you.  Love yourself and dress appropriately and the right people will think you are sexy.

It makes me sad that our young ladies are not confident enough in themselves in this day and age.  Public service announcement WARNING:  ladies and gentlemen seriously, if you know a young lady who acts inappropriately and dresses trashy, perhaps coaching that young lady into being proud of who she is will help you to be the change agent she needs.  Let's tell our young ladies that they are OK just the way they are.  :)

Well, that's all I have today ladies and gentlemen seriously.  I am happy to say I am getting ready to travel again....to Tahiti this time in October.  Super fun part of my job.  My sister and brother in law are heading here over the weekend bringing my AWESOME niece and nephew to visit Chicago.  And my FAB parents are heading here in September as well.  So fun things coming up for SMB.

Continue to enjoy your summer!  Keep it classy!

...Keep your chin, heels and standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!

Would you go under the knife?

Hello ladies and gentlemen.  Hope you are all having a wonderful, classy summer.  The other day a friend shared a story with me about someone he knew that had had some plastic surgery.  And based on the story, the person wasn't forthcoming about the surgery, it got me thinking about the decision to have plastic surgery.

Let's face it, the majority of people receiving plastic surgery in this world are American women.  I am not the type of person that makes a judgment on someone who has surgery as it is a very personal decision.  Heck, I would love to suck out some of the fat out of my bootie and put it in my chest, BUT ALAS, I would prefer to spend the money on shoes or handbags.  I have another friend who lost over 100 pounds and after having kept the weight off for 5+ years, she decided to have the surgery to have the extra skin removed.  And the thing that I loved about her decision was that the decision was for her ONLY.  She was smart about it, made sure she could keep the weight off, she had been in counseling....and let me tell you, she looked FAB!

And so I guess my point, ladies seriously (and even you gentlemen), if you decide to have some type of surgery, make sure the decision is for you and not for what someone else wants.  Many women choose to have their breasts enhanced, which is fine, but make sure that you want those bodacious ta-tas for you and not for your husband, boyfriend (girlfriend), etc (of course, they will get the benefits).  The sad story is that some women choose to get surgery in order to get more attention from men (which usually does happen), but I would sure love for those same ladies to get attention from men because they are AWESOME and happen to have great boobs.

And one last thing, if you do decide to get surgery, OWN IT!  Don't be embarrassed that you have bigger boobs/smaller tummy/smaller bootie/a different nose, heck, you paid for them.  BE PROUD!  And if the doctor did a good job....all the better.

So ladies and gentlemen seriously, my underlying message here is that it is classy to have positive body image, no matter, if it is natural or not.  Be proud of how you look.  And if you don't like how you look, do something about it.  Whether, it means diet, exercise or surgery, please be healthy about how you do.

Case in point, I have gained almost 20 pounds of "relationship" weight, thanks RCH Jr!  And it was time to do something about it, so I went back on my trusty Isagenix and I am down about 12 pounds in a 5 weeks.  Just about 8 left to go.  YAY.

Enjoy the rest of the summer.  Keep it classy!

BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Celebrate the Women in your Life

G'day ladies and gentlemen...ah, the Aussies in my office are wearing off on me!  Happy summer to everyone.  Hope you are all keeping it classy.  So I am reminded that today is National Girlfriends Day, and what better way to be classy than to remind the girlfriends in your life how special they are.  One of the things that we talk about a lot at dear ol' Gamma Phi Beta is the idea of gracious living.  This includes manners but also includes sending out positive messages to the women and men in your life that do something special for you.  And that special something could simply be .... being your in life.  So many times, we, as women spend time cutting each other down and we don't do a good enough job of supporting one another.  So, I am here telling you to take the time to shoot a text message if you want to remind people that they are special.  Trust me, not only will it make the other person feel great but you will as well.

Gentlemen, this includes you as well.  When was the last time you thanked your Mom or your Sister for being fabulous...or your wife or your girlfriend for that matter.  DO IT, they will probably be floored and honored.

Can you tell that I have been doing a lot of self reflecting lately?  I am finding that sometimes when your relationships are not giving you what you want, you need to reflect on what you are sending out there.  The energy that you put out is many times reflected back at you.  So if things are not going right, perhaps it is time to evaluate yourself first.

BOY, I am philosophical today, aren't I?  Well, short and sweet today.  Enjoy the balance of your summer.

BONSOIR, CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS!

Sports - It's Just a Game, Have Some Class

Hello ladies and gentlemen.  Have you melted yet?  Special shout out to my ladies in Wicker Park who have been Jazzercising with me this week with no AC....yep, you read it right.  Dancing in the heat.  I thought I was going to fall out last night, but we made it.  And we have two more classes this week.  I hope that even though it is hot, you are still keeping it classy with your clothing :)

So I had the pleasure of seeing my niece and nephew this past weekend.  And I also got to see them play baseball and softball.  Both of them did a great job, they are both little athletes.  But let me tell you, some of those parents need to take a chill pill.  I am always AMAZED when I see pictures of parents freaking out at kids sports games.  Yes, sports can be intense (I mean, I usually pace when I watch Husker games, ask RCH Jr, he has seen it), but ladies and gentlemen seriously... it really is JUST a game.  And these kids are out there trying their hardest, calm down.  No need to yell at the ref or ump or yell at your kid.  Sometimes you lose the game and sometimes you don't get the call, but that's life and trust me, your kid isn't going to die because he/she lost a baseball/basketball/football game.  Wins and losses are a way of life.  And sometimes it stinks.  Part of being a classy parent is keeping it under control.  My sister and brother in law certainly are classy, good parents, but I can't say that for others that I observed over the weekend.

Fortunately, I didn't see too many fashion victims while at the games and let me tell you, it was hot. Maybe because I was in conservative Kansas... :)

So short and sweet this week.  Happy to say that I am changing jobs with Gamma Phi Beta, moving on to a regional director position.  And if you had to pick ONE region that would be appropriate for JZZRGRL, which area would say?  The one with wine country you say???  You guessed right.  So I will be managing a great group of regional coordinators in region 8 - the Northwest.  Part of being classy and self aware is knowing when you need a change and I had reached that point with my previous position.  So I am excited for my new venture.

So ladies and gentlemen, keep it classy and remember it is just a game.  Keep cool out there and remember your fashion mantras from me....Keep them covered, keep the girls up and out, wear the right panties and no rubber flip fops.

....Keep your chin, your heels and your standards high.
BONSOIR (Happy Bastille Day), CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!

Being classy also means know how to give appropriate feedback...

Happy 4th of July ladies and gentlemen!  I hope that you are all enjoying your long holiday, being safe and merry while still having fun and being classy.  This 4th of July, I am enjoying some alone time as RCH Jr is working.  And still keeping my promise to you all and posting every two weeks.

So I was fortunate enough to be at a Leadership Development conference last week with many of my sorority sisters.  And due to the brilliance of my best friend, the program was great and really allowed the attendees get some professional development time.  We discussed issues like communication, motivation, dependability and accountability.  And, you know, no matter how much experience we all have, we can use some training on these subjects.  As women, we have a tendency to downplay our successes and always want to keep the peace rather than having difficult conversations when someone needs to be confronted on issues.  Personally, I am my father's daughter and am very non-confrontational by nature. I know that I needed some training on how to give appropriate feedback.  So thank you to Smiley and the women of Gamma Phi Beta for giving this to me.

And so here is the message for the week, ladies and gentlemen seriously, avoiding conflict and avoiding difficult conversations is NOT classy.  How many times do people upset us and we don't address the issue?  And then we are ticked off, complain about it to our loved ones and then continue to think badly about that person that we didn't confront.  That isn't healthy for any of us.  So if something is bothering you....give yourself a day to relax and get some perspective.  And if you are still upset, then speak to the person about it.  Make sure that you present the information in an non-confrontational way...address the behavior and don't blame the person.  Tell the person how the behavior makes you feel and ask for a different way for them to behave in the future.  Trust me, not only will you feel better about the situation AND your relationship with that person will improve.

I am trying to practice this advice myself.  And in the case where it is a family member or your significant other, you need be careful.  For example, I know my RCH Jr needs to have situations addressed in a certain manner so that he "understands".  Ladies...you know what I mean.  Remember, you have to live with these people, so don't say things you don't mean in anger...you will be sorry.

Ok, so I know this subject is a little deep for a holiday weekend.  However, you know I love to address ALL parts of being a classy lady or gentleman and that includes how you communicate with people.  So ladies and gentlemen seriously, have a great holiday weekend and start having those tough conversations!

For me, I am heading to see my niece and nephew next week, I am SOOOO excited to see them.  Can't believe this summer is half way over.

....keep your heels, your chin and your standards high....
BONSOIR, CHEERS AND CIAO BELLAS!